Hi, my ex and I did an uncontested divorce. In the agreement "I" had put in that I would send updates and pics of the kids every week since I have full custody and he lives out of state. The updates are fine since he calls every week but it has been hard to take pics every week among other things that I have going on so we verbally agreed that I could send pics once a month. He actually ends up getting more pics this way anyhow. What I'm wondering is, do I need to have this legally changed on paper or is the verbal agreement enough?

If in the official records, it says once a week, it has to be once a week, unless a modification is filed.

But take a couple photos on your cell phone and send it to his phone or email, sorry how hard can it be

Thanks Fr_Chuck for your answer. I just LOVE how it seems that you all like to make the person asking the question feel bad w/out knowing them or their situation in detail.

Father of five boys, who sent photos almost daily to grandparents. And if I went more than three days, I would get the bad son lecture.

But you did agree to the terms of the child custody, your ex appears to have little or no visits, and the photos and updates are his only ties to the child normally.
Sorry but I think that allowing weekly web cam contract should be a min if the father would like it.

Actually Chuck, it states in our decree that he can do skype, webcam, phone calls as often as he wants. We have agreed for the children to stay w/me due health reasons and it was my ex who chose to be out of state. He never does skype or webcam and half the time when he calls he only speaks w/me and only speaks to 2 out of our 4 children. The update/pics was my idea and he did not ask for that to be in the decree. My question was for only changing the frequency of pic sending not webcam, phone calls or anything else.

If it is in the decree then either stick to it or don't and face contempt. At this point since you have an agreement (in writing) then take your chances and stick to that agreement. In not following the orders it will be up to him to force the issue. But since he seems happy at this level it doesn't sound like a high risk issue.

But as Fr_Chuck has said Im sure it would be easy enough to take some pictures with a phone and send them.

Thx califdadof3. You and Chuck keep answering a question that I didn't ask nor asked your opinion on. I didn't ask whether I thought sending pics was hard or easy. My question was: "What I'm wondering is, do I need to have this legally changed on paper or is the verbal agreement enough?" Thank you for answering that but please keep your opinions to yourselves. I have a father here who never participates in his children's lives. He can't afford xmas presents but can get a tattoo and other things. Right now I have not been accepting child support so that he can afford to come down and visit the kids but he still says he doesn't have any money. I already know that I have nothing to feel guilty about as far as wanting to send pics once a month vs every single week. This will be the last time that I ask a question on this website.

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Originally Posted by Luv2beeamom

... My question was: "What I'm wondering is, do I need to have this legally changed on paper or is the verbal agreement enough?" ...

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If he can't "afford" presents or visiting the kids, I really doubt that he can afford an attorney for a trivial issue concerning the timing of pictures. But if you really are concerned, simply send him a letter, certified postage, confirming that both of you have agreed to the different picture-taking schedule.

Thank you. Thank you so much. I know my question sounded trivial but I really want to do everything legal on my end. I appreciate your help so much! =)

Comment on califdadof3's post

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Quote:
Originally Posted by califdadof3
If it is in the decree then either tick to it or dont and face contempt. At this point since you have an agreement (in writing) then take your chances and stick to that agreement. In not following the orders it will be up to him to force the issue. But since he seems happy at this level it doesnt sound like a high risk issue.

But as Fr_Chuck has said Im sure it would be easy enough to take some pictures with a phone and send them.

Thx califdadof3. You and Chuck keep answering a question that I didn't ask nor asked your opinion on. I didn't ask whether I thought sending pics was hard or easy. My question was: "What I'm wondering is, do I need to have this legally changed on paper or is the verbal agreement enough?" Thank you for answering that but please keep your opinions to yourselves. I have a father here who never participates in his childrens lives. He can't afford xmas presents but can get a tattoo and other things. Right now I have not been accepting child support so that he can afford to come down and visit the kids but he still says he doesn't have any money. I already know that I have nothing to feel guilty about as far as wanting to send pics once a month vs every single week. This will be the last time that I ask a question on this website.


If you had actually read what I had written then you would see the answer to your question. As I had said. It doesn't appear to be a high risk issue either way. But it is an issue so you can run with it either way.

Yes, I did actually read what you had written and thanked you for your answer in my post as quoted here "Thank you for answering that".

You are required to send weekly photos if that is what the court order says.

If you wish not to, and not risk being in contempt, you will need to file for a modification of the order. If you and he agrees, it will be easy, normally only one court appearance.

With an attorney at least locally here, most likely not cost more than 1200 legal and 100 or so filing fees.