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-   -   I am confused, and guilty (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=56701)

  • Jan 22, 2007, 06:56 PM
    dudya07
    I am confused, and guilty
    I have posted another question about me being separated from my husband, (who I still might love, he left me, but now wants me back), but this is another kind of question.
    My great bfriend offered me to move in with me... :confused: I do like being around him, also, I can't afford living by myself ( live in DC, I have a great job, but I am still new, so I am not making much, I am 23). What do I do? I hate using my bfriend as a roommate, but I really like him, is that possible to love two people at the same time? I know I need to stop seeing and talking to my husband, but I don't know if I am ready to move in with my bfriend. He was there for me, he might get a bit clueless at times, makes me mad... I am probably just ing about it for no reason. Should I move in with my bfriend or should I just suck it up?
  • Jan 22, 2007, 06:59 PM
    momincali
    You need to find a way to afford your own apartment, maybe something smaller and in a different location. You are using your boyfriend and somewhat lying to your husband. Not good. Suck it up.
  • Jan 22, 2007, 07:40 PM
    dudya07
    Yeah, I just needed to hear it from someone, who has no interest in it. All my friends tell me I should't loose this chance with this great guy, but I want it to be genuine, vs pressure.
    Thanks:)
  • Jan 23, 2007, 06:21 AM
    talaniman
    How about a divorce first. That would be genuine.
  • Jan 23, 2007, 06:32 AM
    miss nafarious
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by dudya07
    I have posted another question about me being separated from my husband, (who i still might love, he left me, but now wants me back), but this is another kind of question.
    my great bfriend offered me to move in with me............:confused: i do like being around him, also, i can't afford living by myself ( live in DC, I have a great job, but i am still new, so i am not making much, i am 23). what do i do? i hate using my bfriend as a roommate, but i really like him, is that possible to love two people at the same time? i know i need to stop seeing and talking to my husband, but i don't know if i am ready to move in with my bfriend. he was there for me, he might get a bit clueless at times, makes me mad... i am probably just ing about it for no reason. should i move in with my bfriend or should i just suck it up?

    I wouldn't move in with him until you have decided what you want. You need to either get over your feelings for your ex (which could take a long time) or decide if there is possibly a chance of reuniting with the ex & give it a bash
  • Jan 23, 2007, 08:11 AM
    dudya07
    We have filed for divorce, that's the thing. We've been waiting on the response from the court, but they take sooooo long.
    I don't want to be untrue to anyone, and I insisted on it, when my husband was flipping back and forth, based on his mood, I guess.
  • Jan 23, 2007, 01:13 PM
    Suicidal Addiction
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by dudya07
    I have posted another question about me being separated from my husband, (who i still might love, he left me, but now wants me back), but this is another kind of question.
    my great bfriend offered me to move in with me............:confused: i do like being around him, also, i can't afford living by myself ( live in DC, I have a great job, but i am still new, so i am not making much, i am 23). what do i do? i hate using my bfriend as a roommate, but i really like him, is that possible to love two people at the same time? i know i need to stop seeing and talking to my husband, but i don't know if i am ready to move in with my bfriend. he was there for me, he might get a bit clueless at times, makes me mad... i am probably just ing about it for no reason. should i move in with my bfriend or should i just suck it up?

    It is possible to love more than one person you love one person now but you still have love for the person in the past realationship... I think you should try to move in with your boyfriend but it depend how bad your husband hurt you as well you know if he broke your heart and wants you back if I were you I wouldn't risk being hurt by the same guy you wasted your time on before so try something new and move in with your boyfriend if it don't work move out lol
  • Jan 23, 2007, 01:20 PM
    dudya07
    My husband keeps emailing and calling, I see he is really trying, I don' t know how to get over him. I know that no one else would make me feel the way he did, but I know after all that happened we couldn't be happy. I'd always remember what he did. It was out of the blue, 2 weeks after our 2 years or marriage anniversary, then evth was still heavenly.
    Maybe I am just complaining too much... at least I got some objective thoughts from people, who I don't know. I think it gives me a clearer picture.
    Thanks
  • Jan 23, 2007, 02:32 PM
    talaniman
    Do you think a break from the men might put your life in an even clearer perspective? Learning to love yourself may be just what you need to bring what you want into a even clearer picture. Seems I've already made that suggestion to you in another thread... Must be good advice if I say so myself. Doggone double threads!!
  • Jan 23, 2007, 02:44 PM
    dudya07
    Maybe that is the case, I don't know. I am afraid to hurt the one, who has been there for me, but I have made my mind about living by myself. It will put my mind at peace for a bit. My boyfriend is supporting me in this decision, as soon as I move in to my tiny apartment(hopefully I'll find one I can afford), I'll feel free and will be able to think things over.
    Its true, though, I need to love myself, I am more of a giver than taker, want everyone to be happy, even if its at my expense... foolish...
  • Aug 25, 2007, 04:33 AM
    CynthiaB
    I too believe you should be on your own for awhile. It will all turn out. You'll be fine with no influence hanging over your shoulder. Besides, sounds like your buddy is still there for you. GOOD LUCK!

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