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-   -   I feel like the man of this relashionship (FYI I am a girl) (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=566787)

  • Mar 30, 2011, 08:04 PM
    MissMilah
    I feel like the man of this relashionship (FYI I am a girl)
    My boyfriend of only a few months is really sweet. However he is the women in the relashionship for sure. He gats mad if I don't call him for the day, he tries to blame me for every conversation and then make me feel like I have to make it up to him. It is really anoyying and in nearly every case I have not done anything wrong. I like that he seems to care but I feel he is hyprocritical because I don't ***** when he doesn't call me (I keep it to myself or except that sometimes he has a life too). I don't want to break up with him but what am I suppost to do every time we have a argument I have to be the bigger person and reach out to him.
  • Mar 30, 2011, 08:51 PM
    mystific

    Man up, tell him how you feel.

    This relationship is still very green.. if you don't set boundaries, expectations and respect values now.. then it'll continue.

    Domineering and demanding doesn't hold a 'sweet' value. Sorry.
  • Mar 30, 2011, 09:55 PM
    talaniman

    Maybe you have a needy insecure man, and if talking doesn't make for better results, you cut your losses and split with him.

    Makes no sense to keep investing more into something that ain't working for you.
  • Mar 31, 2011, 12:12 AM
    amicon

    Have you tried discussing this with him?

    He sounds immature and needy-personally I'd think twice about staying in the relationship.
  • Mar 31, 2011, 01:14 PM
    NukeNC

    I really dislike when woman say "I'm being the man in a relationship" because the guy is caring too much. It seems a lot of women have this stereotype of men in relationships. Caring a lot about things like that does not make them the "girl" or anything of the sort. Its just their personality and lets face it... its better than being completely ignored.

    Onto the point, he does sound very needy. But, I was in a relationship a lot like this only she didn't want to talk, I had to do all the pushing. Perhaps he feels like you are neglecting him slightly? Either way, I would rethink your relationship, sit him down and talk about what's bothering you.
  • Mar 31, 2011, 01:51 PM
    MissMilah
    Thank you for the responses they really help me. Nuke NC, I can respect what you said for some reason I did not think of it as borderline insulting besides I know guys have feelings and can be like this. I just have never been that super annoyying girlfriend who says"where have you been" "why didnt you call me??". I am sensitive though but I hide it and I do want to give this relashionship a good go but I don't know if our emotions will work or become a bigger issue. (if that makes sense)

    I think that you guys touched on something I was not sure of, he may be insecure. He often says things and I think he is joking but he purposely tries to make me jealous. )He loves Nikki Minaj and lets just say I am not as physically blessed as her.. lol) WHY DO GUYS DO THAT? This really bothers me and he likes that it effects me he truly seems to get a joy out of it. Even trying to smile when he sees pics of his ex and stuff then he studys me to get my reaction. Is he testing me? Does this mean that he is insecure?
  • Mar 31, 2011, 01:52 PM
    MissMilah
    Comment on NukeNC's post
    Nuke NC, I can respect what you said for some reason I did not think of it as borderline insulting besides I know guys have feelings and can be like this. I just have never been that super annoyying girlfriend who says"where have you been" "why didnt you call me??". I am sensitive though but I hide it and I do want to give this relashionship a good go but I don't know if our emotions will work or become a bigger issue. (if that makes sense)

  • Mar 31, 2011, 02:27 PM
    MissMilah
    Comment on amicon's post
    I have but he keeps ignoring me and does not talk about it he just say... fine... alright... k... it is very frustrating. It is like he does not care. But he claims he cares about me a lot and not to be a naïve teen on love but he has said he loves me and I mean a lot to him. This is the one issue we have I do not know why he acts like he does not care when I bring this up.
  • Mar 31, 2011, 04:50 PM
    talaniman

    He is who he is, can you handle it or not? What if he doesn't change? How will you overcome this obstacle, if there is no discussion?
  • Mar 31, 2011, 10:22 PM
    MissMilah
    Comment on talaniman's post
    That's what I'm worried about but, I guess only time will tell. I just don't know how to approach the situation in any other ways, Im not used to someone being like this. But I am really willing to try because I think he is a good guy
  • Mar 31, 2011, 10:45 PM
    amicon

    He's trying to make you jealous?

    Now that would really make me back off.

    What do you think the next emotionally manipulative action will be?
  • Apr 1, 2011, 05:56 AM
    talaniman

    Its only been a few months, and are we already seeing a pattern emerge in how this is going?

    Back away to a safer emotional distance, and take a closer look at what you are getting into.

    I mean, can the honeymoon be over already, and has reality started to set in? What happens when you don't just give in?

    Is he taking you for granted? If he is then he isn't the sweet good guy you think he is, or he isn't the keeper you thought he was. For sure, if you both cannot work great together, then you have to work great apart.
  • Apr 2, 2011, 01:21 AM
    emopunk7
    My advice is to take T-Man's advice. Another piece of advice is that you may not be the one for him. If he is constantly wondering why you haven't called or he is complaining about something then it tells you that he feels you are not giving him what he expects. It is his problem and not yours. Maybe he should find someone who can be up his butt 24/7 so that he can learn a lesson. It is good being the way you are.
  • Apr 2, 2011, 11:18 PM
    MissMilah
    Comment on talaniman's post
    It only dawned on me now that he seems to be emotionally manipulating. I want to kind of step back which is a good idea but I don't understand. He wouldn't play me is he trying to manipulate me on purpose or what? I also can't tell if the honey moon is over because we have our highs and lows but maybe its because we are young.
  • Apr 2, 2011, 11:22 PM
    MissMilah
    Comment on emopunk7's post
    Thank you.
  • Apr 3, 2011, 07:31 AM
    talaniman

    You won't know anything unless you step back, take a closer look, and gain some understanding. If nothing else, just see if his words and actions match.

    Lets face it, don't most of us get blinded some what by a new love? Don't we all have high hopes and expectations when we meet that new love??

    Sometimes, rather, MOST times we are afraid to do anything we think will burst the bubble that intense feelings have us in. But when the bubble does burst, and reality sets in, we are caught in denial.

    Back up and be more objective, and find your understanding. Then decide what you are going to do about it.

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