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How do I deal with a wife who wants to secretly be good friends with her ex-boyfriend? What is a needy man? Why do women love needy men?

If she's doing it in secret then she feels guilt, if you feel guilt your doing something you know is wrong... is he just a friend or do you suspect more?

You tell your with you are not comfortable with it and listen to her response. You say "secretly be good friends", please elaborate on that comment. If she was doing this behind your back, there is probably a reason, you need to find out what that reason is.

How long have they been "exes" ?

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What is a needy man?

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Someone who needs attention, love, to be taken care of. . And does anything they can to show you it.

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Why do women love needy men?

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This question assumes that all women love needy men, which is completely opposite of what I have seen in my life.

Women want men who can take care of themselves. But some do go for the guy they can "help".

No secret friends in my house, not allowed, and somebody is out of here.

The rest of your question, there is someone for everyone, needy or not. Some can handle the faults of others, whatever it is, and some can't.

Is your wife's ex the needy man? How?