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-   -   Is no nc rule effective more than once ? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=565928)

  • Dec 31, 2010, 09:03 PM
    riri7
    i was dumped , should i wish him happy new year ?
    my exboyfriend and I were together for 5 yrs. He broke up with me 8 months ago after being overseas for almost 1 year. Last month he was in town. We took care of something's that were on hold with a vehicle that was purchased together. We also slept together on the first night out of the two days that we spent together. Saw him again 8 days later, he took me out 2x that week to eat/drink it was the week of my birthday. He left to go back overseas at the end of that week , he said he would call me once he reached his destination , but never did. He is now back in the usa . I know because his daughter and my daughter are in contact with each other but he still hasn't called me it's been 21 days since we spoke. I still love him and miss him a lot especiallly now during the holidays but I don't think I should wish him happy new year because after he left 21 days ago I sent 3 emails and 2 pics from my birthday party and he did not respond.
  • Dec 31, 2010, 09:17 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    I am sure he will be glad to have a sex partner when he travels back to the states, so if that is what you want, keep in contact, if not, don't and move on
  • Dec 31, 2010, 09:38 PM
    riri7
    I know I need to move on and I'm really trying . I have been going on dates, haven't contacted him in either in nearly 2 weeks . I guess it's going to take a little time to get over him since I was madly in love with him for 5yrs. I just wish it would happen sooner instead of later. I know that he's moved and I'm probably nowhere in his thoughts.
  • Dec 31, 2010, 09:51 PM
    J_9

    riri7,

    What would you get out of wishing him happy new year? It will only make you start healing all over again.
  • Jan 1, 2011, 04:45 AM
    Kshae
    J_9 makes a very good point. When he came back and you had that time together it seems like you held on to a glimmer of hope that "everything you would out in the end". But it was actually very cruel of him to come back and treat you like he had done nothing wrong, only to throw you by the wayside. He, and I'm sorry, has obviously made his choice. If he wanted it to work or if he wanted contact with you, he would have initiated it. You owe him nothing. Not even the simple wish to have a good year.

    And while you may "know" you need to get over him, you haven't and you seem to still need time to grieve. More contact isn't going to help. It will make you feel better at the time, but there will be a lot more pain to follow. Think about how you felt when he never called like he said he would...
  • Jan 1, 2011, 06:34 AM
    Devorameira

    Don't wish him a happy anything. It sounds like it's time for you to accept the reality of the situation (you're broke up!), and move on.

    Don't allow him to use and abuse you... you're better than that.
  • Jan 1, 2011, 09:37 AM
    talaniman

    You need a lot more time without him, and the last thing you need is a rebound relationship that feels good for now. If you are dating, do it for fun, not a distraction to the work you need to do for yourself, or as a way to avoid the pain of a break up. No, don't wish him a happy new year, nor give your body to him again ever. That goes double for your mind, and thoughts. Why go backward?
  • Mar 28, 2011, 12:39 AM
    riri7
    Is no nc rule effective more than once ?
  • Mar 28, 2011, 01:52 AM
    adviceishere

    Can you give us more information than that please...
  • Mar 28, 2011, 02:02 AM
    amicon

    I'm sorry,I'm confused as to what you're asking,clarify,please.
  • Mar 28, 2011, 08:09 AM
    talaniman

    Yes, you keep trying until you get it right, or use it to heal from a break up, anytime. It helps all the time.

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