Okay so my husband started this business and he's the CEO. He hires this woman to be his COO and during our first meeting (in the back of the room) he changes his pants and his CTO makes a comment like he's feeling really awkward about my husband changing his pants (only boxers, no actual package), well anyway the COO that he hired is STILL watching him even after everyone else has looked away, so naturally I said something. Every time they are on IM talking, it lasts for hours. Every time I look over there - it's her name. Got to admit, a CEO and a COO's relations are important to a business. However, I don't think that she has good intentions. I've seen her joking on the IM to him about how he should "flex" his muscles and I really don't trust her. When I say something to him, he flips out on me, telling me he feels "trapped". All I'm doing is protecting our marriage, why can't he see that? And even further, what do I do about her if this gets worse?

I wouldn't wait for it to get worse. As far as the "flex your muscles" comment are you sure she isn't talking about him flexing his BUSINESS muscles in a BUSINESS matter? Once he said he felt trapped (apparently in your marriage - ?) I would have asked him why he feels that way. I don't think it's normal.

Why was he changing his pants during a business meeting and standing in the meeting in his boxer shorts? I would care little whether his "package" showed. I would care about his lack of common sense. You said "something" to her because she didn't look away - what did you say to her?

What can you do about her? You can address the problem with him. He's your husband. In the event you are thinking of talking to her, I wouldn't do that.

Why in the world is he changing his pants at a meeting? And why are they IMing for hours? What sort of business has he started?

I addressed the issue and we are working on my insecurities and he told me he would tell her to be more professional next time (if there ever will be a next time). I feel SO much better now.

To answer questions:: he was changing his pants at the back of the room where no one (except one person) had been looking (and then she decided to continue looking after the guy noticed), my hubby's very comfortable in his own skin. She is his COO and he's the CEO so they *have* to have a close business relationship.

I am now looking at it like she can try whatever she wants to because it will always be a no for him, so I'm definitely relieved :) He was feeling trapped because he felt like I was smothering him with the insecurities and the looking over the shoulder when he would mention her (and by the way it was a lot in my defense).

I told her when she was looking too long that it was inappropriate and then she left the room.

Last night I looked through his e-mails (he found out btw) and found out that I had edited a 55 page document that didn't need to be edited for his company. She wrote to him and said "oh man your wife is going to be pissed. Good luck living with her! LOL" and I was infuriated. I blew up at him and it bit me in the butt because I was the one that had lurked into his stuff.

Don't get me wrong, I still do not like this woman, but my attitude has changed. I won't go through his stuff, I am trusting him and even though I don't like her, I have to live with the situation (at least until business gets booming and we make enough that he doesn't have to work with her all the time).

I can't disclose company information sorry :( but thank you guys for reading my question and answering

I think that her attitude is trouble waiting to happen.

While you have to trust your husband, and not snoop around looking for trouble, I am wondering why she feels comfortable enough to send a text with reference to you, in the first place. What has that got to do with business.

I don't know what kind of business this is, but I would be expecting that any contact between the two of them should be business, and business only. She should not feel so comfortable as to made comments about you, or anybody else. That is very inprofessional. And he should be setting a few boundaries.

As far as I'm concerned, because SHE has crossed the line (not withstanding the fact that your husband shouldn't be seen by anybody in his boxers except for you) by the negative comment(s) about you, you have every right should it happen again, that he step up as her boss, and tell her to cut it out.

I don't think you do feel "so much better" if you are continuing to snoop. You may be attempting to convince yourself that all is well, but I don't think it reads like it is.

As far as your husband being comfortable in his own skin and, therefore, not having a problem changing his pants in front of another female who is not his mother - I don't think they "have" to have this close a relationship! Turn this around - you decided to change blouses and stood in the back of the room wearing just a bra, how would he feel?

I think you are upset and your husband is ignoring you for whatever reason.

If I had to weight my husband's unhappiness against my business my husband would win - I would have a new COO (or whatever title she holds) before the sun set.