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-   -   I'm 15 Years Old In Love With A 21 Yr Old. Is It Bad If We Both Love each other? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=565506)

  • Mar 26, 2011, 02:35 PM
    crazygirl_ily
    Im 15 Years Old In Love With A 21 Yr Old. Is It Bad If We Both Love Each other?
    Im 15 Years Old In Love With A 21 Yr Old. Is It Bad If We Both Love Each other?
  • Mar 26, 2011, 02:38 PM
    ScottGem

    A 21 yr old has no business being in a relationship with a 15 yr old. The two of you are at very different phases of your life with very little, if anything in common.

    And if there is any sexual aspect to the relationship it is likely to be illegal.

    What do you parents think about your relationship?
  • Mar 26, 2011, 02:39 PM
    Wondergirl

    Just out of curiosity, what do you see him as being to you? What does he bring into your life?
  • Mar 26, 2011, 02:39 PM
    Curlyben
    Bad, no, but there could be SERIOUS legal consequences if the 21 year old ADULT takes this any further than being platonic.
  • Mar 30, 2011, 05:32 AM
    countrygurl19
    Its just nastey that a man takes interest in a child.. its illegal!!
  • Mar 30, 2011, 07:08 AM
    martinizing2
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ;
    Im 15 Years Old In Love With A 21 Yr Old. Is It Bad If We Both Love Eachother?

    How do you define love?
    If any physical form is involved it is bad.
    Real real bad.

    Locked up for lots of years bad. (with men who don't hesitate to show you how much they disagree with your choices.)

    A 21 yr old man interested in a girl six years his junior speaks loudly of him not really being mature yet.
    Or worse.

    Be cautious as you remove yourself from this situation
    Which you should do now.

    I question his motives, actions, and lack of maturity.
  • Apr 19, 2011, 04:32 PM
    crazygirl_ily
    His like the guy I always dreamed of his so sweet and like always brightens up my day ! I really do like him and I'm almost going to be 16 his the one I want to be with

    Your just scaring me but they said that in love there's no age :(

    {vulgarity removed} its called loveee !
  • Apr 19, 2011, 04:34 PM
    Alty

    What do the two of you have in common?

    He's old enough to drink, vote, drive, and work.

    You can't do any of that.

    What do you two see in each other?
  • Apr 19, 2011, 04:34 PM
    crazygirl_ily
    Comment on martinizing2's post
    I define love like something that you just can't explain its some feeing you have inside that's sooo strong but honestly I wanted you help not for you guys to get me scared !
  • Apr 19, 2011, 04:35 PM
    Wondergirl

    Comment on Wondergirl's post
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Wondergirl:
    Just out of curiosity, what do you see him as being to you? What does he bring into your life?
    his like the guy i always dreamed of his soo sweet and like always brightens up my day ! i really do like him and im almost going to be 16 his the one i want to be with


    Now, please answer my questions. "Sweet" and "brightens my day" don't answer them. My dentist is sweet and brightens my day, as does my doctor, grocery check-out guy, and mechanic.
  • Apr 19, 2011, 04:48 PM
    Alty

    Quote:

    I define love like something that you just can't explain its some feeing you have inside that's sooo strong but honestly I wanted you help not for you guys to get me scared !
    What you're describing isn't love. But then again, you're only 15, and not really aware of what being in love entails.

    Love is so much more then a feeling. Real love is so much more. At 15 you're not capable of what real love entails. That's why we're questioning you feelings.
  • Apr 19, 2011, 04:48 PM
    ScottGem
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by crazygirl_ily View Post
    your just scaring me but they said that in love theres no age :(

    Who is "they"? But whoever "they" is they are wrong. As one gets older the difference in ages makes less and less a difference. If you were both over 21 it wouldn't make any difference. But at your ages it makes a big difference. He is an adult and you are still a child. It is very likely you just think you are in love, but you are too young (and I would venture to say too immature) to really know what love is.

    And he is irresponsible if he is having a romantic relationship with someone so young. And you never answered what your parents think.

    P.S. If you have follow-up questions or info, Please use the Answer options not comments.
  • Apr 19, 2011, 05:01 PM
    ScottGem
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by crazygirl_ily View Post
    i define love like something that you just can't explain its some feeing you have inside thats sooo strong but honestly i wanted you help not for you guys to get me scared !

    But getting you scared IS helping you. You didn't really want help you, did you? You wanted someone to tell you it was OK for you to have a relationship with this guy. That's clear from your responses. But what you need is a wakeup call to understand that a 21 yr old man who wants a relationship with a 15 yr old is a predator.
  • Apr 19, 2011, 05:10 PM
    Alty

    I couldn't agree more with Scott. I asked about what you two have in common, because I already know the answer. You're a child, he's an adult, you have nothing in common.

    You're young, and therefore you're easily fooled, easily played, and easily manipulated. That's what he sees in you.

    You're a teen, hormones raging, don't have the sense God gave a goat, and this adult is interested in you. It's a dream come true for a teen. Of course you think it's love, because you don't know any better.

    The fact is, he's a predator, a pedophile. Been there, done that, learned the hard way. Still have the scars.

    I know that telling you it's a bad idea won't work. I was 15 once too. But, just in case you're smarter then most 15 year olds, I'll say it anyway. He's after one thing. Once you get older, he'll dump you for the next 15 year old. I'd bet money on it.

    Want to bet?
  • Apr 20, 2011, 07:59 PM
    dream_angel
    I understand what you feel I know what you are saying love is something true and amazing but is this really love does he make you smile with out trying does she show you that you're the only one does he ever tell you what your love means to him? And do you show that you love him and I don't mean with sex I mean what do you do for him is it just a one way thing were the guy does all the showing and you just watch and take what he gives cause if so then its not anywhere close to love so think about it before you say your in love with him till you understand what love is.
  • Apr 20, 2011, 09:32 PM
    Alty

    Love isn't a smile, love isn't showing you you're the only one. Love is so much more then that. Love is holding your hair back when you're being sick in the bathroom. Love is cleaning the house while you're at work. Love is holding you when you're sad. Love is working with you to make your dreams come true. Love is accepting each others faults. Love is so much more.

    If you think you love someone because of a few smiles and because he shows it without trying, then you're in for a big shock when reality sets in.
  • Apr 20, 2011, 09:35 PM
    Homegirl 50

    There is something wrong with him.

    Do your parents know you are seeing this adult male?
  • May 6, 2011, 09:37 PM
    crazygirl_ily
    First I want to say thanks for taking your time to answer my question but we are NOT going out! We don't see each other we don't talk about having a relationship at all ! He respects me and we are really good friends because we know we can't be together and you guys never asked me how I felt about all this and now I don't care but thanks anyway
  • May 6, 2011, 10:40 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by crazygirl_ily View Post
    you guys never asked me how i felt about all this

    I did -- "Originally Posted by Wondergirl: Just out of curiosity, what do you see him as being to you? What does he bring into your life? "
  • May 7, 2011, 06:11 AM
    ScottGem
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by crazygirl_ily View Post
    First i want to say thanks for taking your time to answer my question but we are NOT going out !! we dont see eachother we dont talk about having a relationship at all ! He respects me and we are really good friends because we know we can't be together and you guys never asked me how i felt about all this and now i dont care but thanks anyway

    Excuse me, but you asked whether it was bad if you loved each other. This implies that YOU believe you are in love with him. So why would we need to ask how you felt about it.

    I still don't see how a 15 and 21 yr old could be true friends. The age difference is too great. But the bottom line is you should not be having a romantic relationship with him at least not for another 3-4 years.

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