Hi,
I have been with my boyfriend for about 5 months, but we were very very very close normal friends before that. My boyfriend did not have a girlfriend before me for about 2 years but I broke up my last relationship 5 months before I got with him.
Moving on and on , he wants more and more from me, and we have reached a point where he thinks that its time for me to loose my virginity to him inorder to prove hat I love him. He will be leaving me during the summer for 2 months and he wants to make sure that I love him enough, so he doesn't regret not having sex while he's far away from me
We had a huge fight today, and I told him that I can prove him I love him with things other than sex and words, things like a tattoo. So he was going to break up with me , but I told him to give it time. He thinks that 12 months is too much to wait and that were are already far enough to wait till then.
My family hates him and they say he is very aggressive
My friends think we have already had sex
He doesn't mind people knowing we have sex ( he doesn't care if I feel bad or not)
He spends and does lovable things for me
He has slapped me in the face four - five times
He thinks I still love my ex, and he compares himself to him A lot
He thinks that everything that I say to him, I have said it to all my ex's
He said today that "when you have sex ( Because i know you will soon) think of me while your doing it"
But I truly think he loves me, because there are so many girls around him that their parents love him, I can't even explain
What should I do ? :( please help

Due to posting restrictions on the Adult Sexuality board, the age of you and your boyfriend are required before responses can be given.

My age is 16 and he is 17
He is 1993 I'm 1994

Since the age requirement for posting in Adult Sexuality is 18, your question has been moved from that forum to the Relationship forum.

Now, let's see...

Are you both financially ready to be parents? You do realize that intercourse = pregnancy no matter how careful you are? There is no form of birth control that is 100% effective.

Also, he has SLAPPED you? He's laid his hands on you?

Whatever you do, do NOT have sex with this abusive person and do NOT permanently brand yourself with a tattoo!

Why on earth would you give away something as precious as your virginity to this sorry excuse for a male? You didn't say one single thing to make me feel other than disgust.

Please have some respect for yourself and honor the treasure you can give to a man who adores the very ground upon which you walk!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by J_9
Since the age requirement for posting in Adult Sexuality is 18, your question has been moved from that forum to the Relationship forum.

Now, let's see...

Are you both financially ready to be parents? You do realize that intercourse = pregnancy no matter how careful you are? There is no form of birth control that is 100% effective.

Also, he has SLAPPED you? He's laid his hands on you?

Whatever you do, do NOT have sex with this abusive person and do NOT permanently brand yourself with a tattoo!

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once we thought that I am pregnant because his ejaculation was spilt onto me, we waited and waited, he was okay for paying for it... but.. I feel bad, I don't want a baby,
no , we are just some high school kids that afre going to grade 12 next year
yes he has slapped me for knealing down when I saw my ex boyfriend ( he got mad because he thought I don't want anyone to know we are together)
then the same night we had a fight in our street and he slapped me , 3 police cars came and asked me if he did and I said no
he just seems agrressive...
and what else can I do rather than a tattoo to prove I love him.

I do love him
but all I really care about deep down in my heart is what people think about me
he has taken videos of me making out with him
and I know that if we break up for this rewason he will spread bad things about me everywhere
but I do love him

You can gain some self respect and kick him to the curb. He's an abusive piece of carp. The abuse will only get worse. I can promise you that!

I do love him
But all I really care about deep down in my heart is what people think about me
He has taken videos of me making out with him
And I know that if we break up for this rewason he will spread bad things about me everywhere
But I do love him

He hasent been doing it for long now
How do I stop him from wanting my virginity
Or should I just get this overwith?
Ughh
I can't :(

You get this over with.

This boy, and I use the term lightly, does not respect you.

Your parents have a right to dislike him. Do they know that he has hit you multiple times?

No , not all

I hereby give you permission to kick him to the curb.

(He'll soon be taking nude pix of you and will share them with the world. You sound so sweet and loving that I can't believe you are even confused about what to do. He really has control over you! Gack!)

Do not give in to this selfish little boy.

He is a controlling and insecure little boy.
When he slapped you the first time you should
Have given him his walking papers then.

He is jealous of someone from your past
And speculates about his actions and reactions.

If a person truly loves another they will not try to
Force them to do anything they do not want to.
And would never even suggest that they "prove"
Anything.

Relationships are built on honesty, communication, and
Trust.
Also caring about how the other feels , and wanting the
Best for them .
Love is understanding and respecting each other.

Love is a mutually beneficial union.

It has no slapping the others face.
It doesn't need to show proof , real love is obvious in itself.

There are so many red flags around this guy hopefully he will not be able to find his way out of them until he leaves for school.

Nothing here is right to indicate anything but a controlling , abusive, insecure , jealous , selfish shadow of a real man will be there to ruin your life if you let him.

Kick him to the curb and prove you love yourself enough to look out for your well being.
He will never be capable of doing it while totally being absorbed in himself .

You wait to have sex with someone who cares about you.
Someone who hits you does not love you.
Violence of any kind is not to be tolerated , ever, at all.
Unless I have a chance to meet these brave little fellas
Then it is required to show them the errors of their ways..
... I wish.
I have three daughters, and that has given me enough already to answer for when I meet my maker.

Don't walk away with no dignity.
Run away from the malodorous female hitting coward now.

I dpnt know how to leave him
I've lost all of my friends because of him
I've lost my parents trust and worthyness towards me
If I come home 1 hour late or don't pick up the phone they think I'm on his bed
My brothers have talked, but have not hugged or kissed me for weeks
And I am falling behind all of my studies.
I'm tooooooooooooo scared to break up
I don't have the power
I really don't

I don't know how to leave
I'm scared of leaving
I love him :(

Melissa, what can we say to convince you?

I can't call you or visit you and hold your hand.

He could prove his love for you by getting castrated .
That would ease his longing for your virginity and the lower testosterone level may calm him enough not to hit you.
Win,win,win situation.

Go see your parents and ask for their help.

You need to leave the scumbag NOW.

If you can't do this alone then for heaven's sake get someone to help you. Your parents might be cross with you, they might see you have made a bad decision, but they have not stopped loving you. Sure, going to them and admitting you have got yourself in a bad situation will mean swallowing your pride somewhat, but that is way better than staying where you are and waiting for things to escalate from a slapped face to broken bones or worse.

He is doing all the things that an abuser does. He is trying to manipulate you into having sex. He has isolated you from the other people that could support you. He hits you.

This won't get better. It very likely will get worse.

You can win your friends back or make new ones.
You can regain the trust and affection of your family.
You can get back on track with your studies.
But to do all these things you have to get away from this guy and the influence he is having on you.

I sincerely hope you will.

Sorry you poor girl, this is in no way love. It's a very unhealthy addiction to a guy who is poisoning the good things you had in life. Its you who have given him power to destroy your family, friends, school, and everything you hold dear. He will destroy you also. He has no love for you, only words and actions to make you his love slave. He is a user, and abuser, and only cares for what he wants, your virginity, the last sign of dignity and self respect that you have. This will give him the total control over you that he wants. He is evil, and must destroy your goodness, to feed his own ego.

Only you with the help of parents, and friends, can break his control of you. And that's what you need to do to get out of danger, and get healthy again, and be no ones mindless slave. No more talk of love, because love does not destroy, hits, or controls.

How else can you get back the very real, and good love that your family and friends have for you? Ask your brothers for help, and tell your friends to ask your brothers for help. This is how you break control by this evil troll, and get your happy, healthy life back.

Then you will have a chance to know what real love is, and not this addiction that has been thrust on you.

Save the gift of your virginity for the guy who deserves it, appreciates it, and gives you the happy love you deserve, and loves you enough to wait until YOU want to give it away. Not some selfish evil knucklehead, who spills his seed on you, and blames and punishes you for what he has done.

Does your husband know that you have a boyfriend?

Does he also know that you lied about your age, seeing as he seems to think that you're 27.

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