Im sorry its so long but I tried to put as much details so I can get the most detailed answer so when I'm thinking like this in the future I can read these answers and not worry no more.

I'm in a new relationship after breaking up with my ex with mixed emotions.
Me and my ex been together for 23 months 2 years basically and that was so stressful with her. She had trust issues and from the get go she never gave me the benefit of the doubt and I feel that affected everything that happened in our relationship. From accusing me of cheating to believing I didn't love her, to her basically having a wall up the whole relationship and not really opening up to me. The relationship was rocky in the beginning having to deal with a lot of misunderstandings and lack of communication ( to overcome the misunderstandings) and I say died 8 months in. From that point on it was a struggle trying to fix things and make things work ( because we loved each other ). We broke up multiple time with her trying to in the first year to me the second year. Somewhere during that process I wasn't happy at all and when I was in public I would look at other girls they didn't have to look better than her but what was going on in my head was " maybe she would treat me better than my gf is" and I found that to be really sad and hurt me because she treated me like nothing. Im the type of person that reasonable and don't like drama so when drama accurs I try my hardest to talk things out and fix things before they turn into anything else. Im the type that is really mellow and she was the opposite.Now since I gave you a little info on that relationship, it was basically UNHEALTHY.

Now to why I'm on here seeking help to my problem. First off I want to say I never thought to cheat live two lives none of that I don't believe in that at all and I really can't see how people actually do that to each other. Well anyway I broke up with my ex DEC 20 2010. That day I got in contact with my current GF ( she was a old friend from elementary school. We started talking about nothing like that just about memories from back in the day and child hood things that happened all day and then I realized that this girl actually WANTED to talk to me and was awhole lot more than my GF did and that made me think and then thinking turned into considering her but nothing like that it was something like ( it would be cool if I was wit her ). Then after a whole day of talking to her my GF hits me up responding to a 6 hour old text and later that night it happened I ended it because after I considered her just a little bit I thought to myself why am I considereing other girls when I have a GF and that's when I know it had to end.ON JAN 4 2011 after two weeks of talking non stop all day every day mostly because she initiated I got feelings for her and me and my current GF made it official and been happy ever since. NOw I'm a strict believer that people can change and even though my relationship with my ex was hell I feel that because of her past she treated me the way she did and that she could have change if I gave her one more chance and now I'm constantly feeling bad about what I have done. I feel it wasn't her fault and that it would have eventually worked out in the long run. So while my current GF is always letting me know that she is so grateful that she found me and how much she loves me, me on the other hand feels the same because this relationship is mature and she does everything I tried to get my ex to do for 2 years and more than I ask for with out me saying anything. AND IT WAS NOTHING BUT THE BASICS EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS TO ME AND ACT ON YOUR FEELINGS WHICH SHE Didn't. I haven't accepted letting go of my ex. Im at the point of no return because me and my GF already had sex a lot of times and her heart is in it all the way while mine is half way because I haven't accepted that I let my ex go. The thought that constantly crosses my mind is should I let my girlfriend go tlk to my ex and rekindle that? I can't because I know if she slept with another dude threw this breakup I wouldn't want her back so I feel she's the same and on top of that I broke it off and its been 3 months since then and the day of the break up she begged and begged and all that then the next day she said "i miss u" but nothing after that ? I was expecting her to let me be for a week because before all of our breakups wasnnt really breakups just got to that boiling point when she was threatening and I was threatening to leave and then we would talk and go back at it so it was never this serious, and then try to contact me again and try to talk or at least write me a long message trying to get me back but no, does that mean in that time she relaized that the best thing for us was not to be together ? I really need help because I feel sooooo bad that I'm thinking like this and I just want to move on since I have to live with my decission anyway. Should I tell my girlfriend what's going on in my head and have her help me get over this? By the way she doesn't know exactly that I basically broke up with my ex because I considered her. Or should I just keep it all in ? Because this is killing me because my ex was my first love ( a rough love ) but first love, first long relationship, first person to actually love me and all that mushy stuff and I want her back but in reality I don't because after two years things did not get better just worse. Thanks everyone in advance for taking your time to help me .

You need to stop feeling bad about leaving your ex. You loved and cared for her, and that's fine, but you were not in a happy healthy relationship. If she has demons from her past that cause her to be cold, closed off, and unloving-that's unfortunate, but that doesn't mean you should suffer just because she has no control over what happened to her. At some point we all have to decide if we're going to let our past run our futures-and we all have the capability to say "no" to our pasts. You deserve to be in a happy, healthy relationship... we all deserve that.

What does that mean about your current relationship? I'm not necessarily a 100% naysayer of rebound relationships-only because I've seen amazing success come out of rebounds. For the vast majority of them, however, rebounds only prolong the inevitable: and that is mourning your first, failed relationship. Does your current girlfriend have qualities that you could be in love with and spend a good part of your life with-possible. But that doesn't mean that you should be doing that with her or anyone right now.

You had a girlfriend for two years, you went through a lot with her, and though you know it's best for you to move on-you need to heal. The best thing for you (and your current girlfriend) is that you break free of all your romantic relationships and heal yourself. All of the confusion you're feeling right now is your mind begging you to let you sort out your pain. You're throwing water on burning oil right now by subbing in someone else when you're supposed to be healing.

Being alone isn't always easy-especially when you're accustomed to someone always being there to hold you-but being alone gives you the chance to cry when you want to cry, be brave when you want to be brave, try something new when you want to try something new. It lets you heal. It will help you be in a position to know what you want, and treat your next girlfriend with 100% love and respect, because right now you don't have the ability to give that to anyone.

I hope you find healing soon. Good luck!

You broke up from a troubled relationship and walked right into a new one.

Not a good idea.

After every breakup we all need to heal from that pain and be able to leave the past behind us,before becoming involved with someone new.

It's not fair on the new person i.e. the rebound and it isn't fair on you that you aren't allowing yourself to get over the past.

Hence your confusion;you shouldn't be with anyone until you are over your ex.

The thing I forgot and left out was that the relationship was basically dragged from 8 months in to the 23 month mark I wanted change, change wasn't happening but I didn't want to give up and once I seen it wasn't going to change I wanted out ever since. I didn't want to be in it anymore but couldn't leave, the only way I seen us breaking up was either she had the strength to finally call it quits and stand by it or someone running interference on my end because all the times I tried I see she didn't want to break up but also to stubborn to really look at her wrngs in the relationship and I seen she had problems and since I still wanted it to some how work between us I couldn't leave, so basically I got what I asked for in a way . I loved her because the stuff we went threw and struggled with but since she was closed off I can honestly say I never was in love with her because I tried many times to ask myself why and all I came up with was because she loved me and that's not in love to me. Now with my new girlfriend I know anyone would assume she was a rebound but do you consider someone a rebound if that wasn't your intentions ? I planned on going threw the break up by myself but then she got back in contact with me . We talked and talked been threw a lot of the same things looked at life in a similar way liked a lot of the same things and I'm not funny but she like my sense of humor and I like hers. Who would think of getting with someone they went to elementary school with ? And me and her wasn't close in elementary school I just knew her and she knew me and we knew of each other because we had the same class. Right after I made the choice of leaving my ex while talking to her everything was good and I felt the same way about her was glad and everything I left my ex. But all of a sudden 3 months later I'm tripping and tripping hard about letting my ex go . I don't know maybe its all the work I put into her to let her go ? Knowing that someone else is going to get the satisfaction of my hard work? Those are some of the thoughts that haunt me when I think of my ex. When I fantisize I think of all the good I have with my current GF and wish it could have been with her ( which at this point and how she was with me will not even come close, maybe years down the road but not now). Also to mention my current girlfriend got out of a bad relationship also but 4 months before she found me and even her relationship was similar to how mine was. Im basically saying I don't think she's a rebound all our feelings were mutual. Like this time we were talking like 2 weeks after we started I already told her I liked her and that became stronger and I got tired of sugar coating that I actually loved her because like wasn't doing justice at all anymore and she ended up telling me first before I got to it I was shocked. But yea She is way more mature than my ex and even askd me do I still lover her because she had a feeling I kind of did by how into the talks about her I would be. She straight up told me that I'm not worried about her I know you love me and I love you. She didn't get insecure like my ex would have she was real with me. So do you think I should tell her at times I get like this and go to her when I do ? Or should I just keep it to myself ? I can't leave this girl I probably can take a break but I fear I may try to contact my ex if I go that route I don't know why but I do. My problem is this is my first break up I guess because I feel if I had gf's in HS and such been threw this before I wouldn't trip like I am. For example I used to always nag to my friends about my ex and my problems and how she is acting up and everything almost every time we talked and I know that got on their nerves because I weasnt happy. No with my new girlfriend not one thing yet but with my ex in the beginning there wer a lot.

I hope you do go back, and read this with a clear, and thoughtful head, because all I see you doing is USING a willing female to make you feel better about your failed relationship. And when you have recovered your common sense, you will be ready to leave, and find your own happiness, because being grateful for the help to get beyond this first failed long term relationship, will not be enough to make you build a life with the new girl.

Sorry guy, but jumping from female to female, without being very honest with yourself, or her, or the ex for that matter will mean many months of needless suffering for all involved.

You have a big mess of your own making to clean up, but you won't because your feelings are distracting you from the facts, and all common sense of dignity, or self respect. The simple fact as I see it, is you taking for your own good what someone else is freely giving, while giving nothing in return, because you have nothing to give, but your own sorry presence.

Harsh? Maybe, but my honest opinion, and fairest warning I can give you of the consequences you face by your actions, unless you make better decisions, and get a better plan for yourself, that's starts with honesty, and willingness to tell the TRUTH!!

If honesty and truth are not the major parts of the plan, it just won't work!

If somehow I came off that I'm not giving her what she wants and needs I am I'm just how I was with my ex, I do have feelings for her like she does me. Its times I don't know that I feel like this and then when I talk about it it goes away. I guess this thought is triggered by the fact that my ex works 4 blocks away from where I live and 2 away from where I park my car and she also walks to this school a half a block away from my house to get girls because she works at an after school program and I know all this. Im just stuck in between reality and my fantasies because when in the relationship I wanted out because of the reality of the situation and when I finally broke it off it was because of the reality that she either wasn't ready to be in a relationship or I just wasn't right for her but in my fantasies I believe if I stuck with her things would smoothen out and everything would be fine but that's not true because we been threw this multiple times like 6 or so.

And I really believe that's what I'm suffering from. The exact thought is " eventually everything would have worked out" "if i was with her things will be good right now" " we could have been happy" all those things that where not happening in the relationship since months in and 6 boiling points when both of us were about to call it quits but didn't and talked it out and kept coming back to the same point. It obviously wasn't going to happen but I guess I'm a suckes that's what everyone tells me to think it would have happened.