Ask Me Help Desk - Spouse Addicted to Oxycotin

Hello,
I am going through a difficult time right now and need some emotional support and some extra prayers.
My husband was and most likely is still addicted to Oxycotin. 1 1/2 years ago he really flipped out on Oxycotin. He didn't work for over 4 months, laid in the bed 24 hrs. a day and did nothing but ruin our finances and family. He went into detox twice, the first time after he stoled my whole months worth of my meds. After the 2nd detox, he finally got some sort of treatment. They put him on Suboxone(sp?) to help get him off the oxycotin. In October of this year, we lost our insurance and we couldn't afford to get them anymore. Then, I started to notice my meds were coming up short each month. He denied ever taking them and was upset that I would even accuse him of that. In November he wanted to prove himself to me and asked me to give him my pills and trust him. See I misplaced my safe key and in the past have misplaced my meds. So like a fool I said OK. Well, my meds vanished and he said that on our 2 yr. old saying she must have flushed them down the toilet, them told me it was my fault because I lost my safe key. Well in the past if she ever found any pills she would give them to us and say "yucky and die" I didn't believe this unlikely story. He never takes any responabilty and always tried to turns things around on to me. Well in December I keep a close eye on my meds but a few times there was an opportunity for him and once again I was missing about two weeks worth! I found out later my child's safe has the same key as mine so I believe he knew this because he told me he was tired of being accused of this and went on and on about how he doesn't take them and blah blah... and I should check and see if our child's key works for my safe- Well it did and I believe he knew this. Also, starting in November he starting missing work because he wan't feeling well or was mad at his work so he wasn't going in. Also in December we went to visit family on the 19th so he took of from work starting December 15th and didn't go back after we got back on the 30th. He told them he was sick and after the New Years he never called them or talked to them again. He is a truck driver. He had the truck up where we live and I told him he should clean it out. In the beginning of January he told me he got way behind in work and if he went back to them he wouldn't get a check for over 3 weeks. Well I told him to clean out his truck, take it back and get another job because our mortgage was due soon. Well he never did and they came and got the truck with all his stuff in it. He also got a new job around the 5th of January but never went in to fill out the paper work and didn't call them either so he lost the job there before he even started! Now he tells me that he is not going to work for just any company he has too much experience for that and he isn't going to be gone for long periods at a time either. He also went on to tell me it would hurt his driving record if he took a job and then quit to go work for another company after a couple of weeks. After laying in the bedroom again for 24 hours a day and him saying that he was sick-body aches, dirreah, chills, sweats, can't sleep and his teeth are falling out!. I got after him to get a job saying we have 3 kids to support, our mortgage is due, we have no money and we have bounced some checks plus I said I don't want to be out in the street with the kids... it doesn't seem to bother him and he said that I am nagging him he also blurts out that he has a brain tumor! He went on to tell me a little more about it but when I told him I want to talk to his Doctor and tell the kids he says NO and it's not my concern, it's his problem bot mine... Well when I pushed a little more the story keeps changing and has changed numerous times. Now after hearing 7 (at least) different stories it's now I saw a Doctor out of state and he took an X-ray and although he is not a brain Doctor he is 85% (last story it was 80%) sure it's a tumor and he needs to see his regular Doctor when he gets back. Well the other stories he told me he talked to his regular Doctor about this and they sent him to the Mayo Clinic. Now he said he never followed up with his regular doctor about this, never went to the Mayo Clinic and his regular doctor doesn't even knew about the tumor. In the past he has lied to me and I told him if he was lying about this I would never forgive him. He response is always-he doesn't want to know any more about this, it's his problem not mine and it doesn't concern me.
Now, the last couple of days he has been telling me that he can't believe that I don't trust him with my pills and that it is an insult to him, a slap in the face to him, that I don't keep my pills in the safe, locked up and leave my safe out in the open. He has been moody, mean, short with the kids and showing signs of withdraw. Plus not working when he is our only source of income.
I told him that my meds are safe and this way he doesn't have to see them and I will never again accuse him of taking them because I am in control of them and they are safe. Well he says that until I do as he told me to do-put them in the safe and leave them locked up safe in the kitchen or out in the open were we all can see the safe he is going to be ignorant to me, be moody and treat me poorly. That it shows him I don't trust him and that he can't believe I would insult him like that!
He is still not working and I am afraid we are going to lose the house and car because of him. Plus, I am worried about the kids. He is our only source of income and he has none! I had to sign up for food stamps last week, go to the local pantries for food, get winter coats for the kids through the church plus we ran out of diapers for the baby two days ago
not to mention that all of our bills are due or past due! I have had it with this and I am at my wits end. I can't take anymore of this from him but I am hoping/praying that he goes back to work soon and that I can stash a little bit of money before I pack up the kids and leave him. The poor kids have noticed that Dad isn't the same and has heard him say hurtful things to me and they are terrified that we are going to get a divorce. Plus, they cry at the mention of having to move.
Does anyone knew how long Oxycotin stays in your system? How long withdrawals are? Or how to protect myself when it comes to getting a divorce? Any suggestions or advice in preparing myself for getting out? I would appreciate any suggestions, advice and prayers.
This is just unbelievable to me and it's hard to think clearly when I am so worried about everything at once.
Thank you

I Am So Sorry You Are Having To Go Through This The Only Help I Can Give Is To Get Out While You Can You May Beable To Get Help For Gas To Leave From Some Of The Same Prople Who Helped You Churches Food Banks And So Forth Ask At The Food Stamp Office If They Have A Listing Of People Who Can Help You Get Out Yes It Will Be Hard But It Won't Be Any Worse Than What You Are Going Through Now My Prayers Are With You

Your husband is an addict. He is doing his best to manipulate you any way he can in order to get a fix. The missing work, bad attitude, blaming you for all his problems including blaming you for demanding he be a responsible father.
He is a long way from being able to hold a job, let a lone get one. All he can think about is his love affair he's having with the pills. And it is a love affair. He craves them and feels he can'tlive without them. To him there is nothing else more important. With your meds in the house, he sees you as his supplier and an easy fix.
He needs help but he has to want it. That will only happen when he hits rock bottom and that hasn't happened yet.
What you need to do is to ensure the safety of your children and yourself. Already your 2 year old is reacting to what he's doing. She senses in her own way that something is wrong and the pills are the cause by flushing them down the toilet and saying yuckie and die.
You may need to leave him inorder to do that. Getting him to leave would be next to impossible. Once you're gone along with your meds, he might just get the hint.
You need to be straight and stand your ground with him and it will be tough.
He doesn't see what his addiction is causing. Nor does he care at the moment. All he wants are the pills.
Addiction is devasting emotionally and financially. Until he's ready to face his demons, you need to worry about yourself and the children.
Check with social service where you get you food stamps. About legal help. And health benefits. And job training. Also with his withdraw and moodiness, his bad behavior may escalate.if he doesn't get the pills he wantd from you. I would think about going to a woman's shelter.just because he can't move forward doesn't mean yours can't
Good luck and God bless

Quote:

Originally Posted by peanutbutter33

Hello,
I am going through a difficult time right now and need some emotional support and some extra prayers.
My husband was and most likely is still addicted to Oxycotin. 1 1/2 years ago he really flipped out on Oxycotin. He didn't work for over 4 months, laid in the bed 24 hrs. a day and did nothing but ruin our finances and family. He went into detox twice, the first time after he stoled my whole months worth of my meds. After the 2nd detox, he finally got some sort of treatment. They put him on Suboxone(sp?) to help get him off the oxycotin. In October of this year, we lost our insurance and we couldn't afford to get them anymore. Then, I started to notice my meds were coming up short each month. He denied ever taking them and was upset that I would even accuse him of that. In November he wanted to prove himself to me and asked me to give him my pills and trust him. See I misplaced my safe key and in the past have misplaced my meds. So like a fool I said ok. Well, my meds vanished and he said that on our 2 yr. old saying she must have flushed them down the toilet, them told me it was my fault because I lost my safe key. Well in the past if she ever found any pills she would give them to us and say "yucky and die" I didn't believe this unlikely story. He never takes any responabilty and always tried to turns things around on to me. Well in December I keep a close eye on my meds but a few times there was an opportunity for him and once again I was missing about two weeks worth! I found out later my child's safe has the same key as mine so I believe he knew this because he told me he was tired of being accused of this and went on and on about how he doesn't take them and blah blah.....and I should check and see if our child's key works for my safe- Well it did and I belive he knew this. Also, starting in November he starting missing work because he wan't feeling well or was mad at his work so he wasn't going in. Also in December we went to visit family on the 19th so he took of from work starting December 15th and didn't go back after we got back on the 30th. He told them he was sick and after the New Years he never called them or talked to them again. He is a truck driver. He had the truck up where we live and I told him he should clean it out. In the beginning of January he told me he got way behind in work and if he went back to them he wouldn't get a check for over 3 weeks. Well I told him to clean out his truck, take it back and get another job because our mortgage was due soon. Well he never did and they came and got the truck with all his stuff in it. He also got a new job around the 5th of January but never went in to fill out the paper work and didn't call them either so he lost the job there before he even started! Now he tells me that he is not going to work for just any company he has to much experience for that and he isn't going to be gone for long periods at a time either. He also went on to tell me it would hurt his driving record if he took a job and then quit to go work for another company after a couple of weeks. After laying in the bedroom again for 24 hours a day and him saying that he was sick-body aches, dirreah, chills, sweats, can't sleep and his teeth are falling out!......I got after him to get a job saying we have 3 kids to support, our mortgage is due, we have no money and we have bounced some checks plus I said I don't want to be out in the street with the kids ....... it doesn't seem to bother him and he said that I am nagging him he also blurts out that he has a brain tumor! He went on to tell me a little more about it but when I told him I want to talk to his Doctor and tell the kids he says NO and it's not my concern, it's his problem bot mine....Well when I pushed a little more the story keeps changing and has changed numerous times. Now after hearing 7 (at least) different stories it's now I saw a Doctor out of state and he took an X-ray and although he is not a brain Doctor he is 85% (last story it was 80%) sure it's a tumor and he needs to see his regular Doctor when he gets back. Well the other stories he told me he talked to his regular Doctor about this and they sent him to the Mayo Clinic. Now he said he never followed up with his regular doctor about this, never went to the Mayo Clinic and his regular doctor doesn't even knew about the tumor. In the past he has lied to me and I told him if he was lieing about this I would never forgive him. He response is always-he doesn't want to know any more about this, it's his problem not mine and it doesn't concern me.
Now, the last couple of days he has been telling me that he can't believe that I don't trust him with my pills and that it is an insult to him, a slap in the face to him, that I don't keep my pills in the safe, locked up and leave my safe out in the open. He has been moody, mean, short with the kids and showing signs of withdraw. Plus not working when he is our only source of income.
I told him that my meds are safe and this way he doesn't have to see them and I will never again accuse him of taking them because I am in control of them and they are safe. Well he says that until I do as he told me to do-put them in the safe and leave them locked up safe in the kitchen or out in the open were we all can see the safe he is going to be ignorant to me, be moody and treat me poorly. That it shows him I don't trust him and that he can't believe I would insult him like that!
He is still not working and I am afraid we are going to lose the house and car because of him. Plus, I am worried about the kids. He is our only source of income and he has none! I had to sign up for food stamps last week, go to the local pantries for food, get winter coats for the kids through the church plus we ran out of diapers for the baby two days ago
not to mention that all of our bills are due or past due! I have had it with this and I am at my wits end. I can't take anymore of this from him but I am hoping/praying that he goes back to work soon and that I can stash a little bit of money before I pack up the kids and leave him. The poor kids have noticed that Dad isn't the same and has heard him say hurtful things to me and they are terrified that we are going to get a divorce. Plus, they cry at the mention of having to move.
Does anyone knew how long Oxycotin stays in your system? How long withdrawls are? Or how to protect myself when it comes to getting a divorce? Any suggestions or advice in preparing myself for getting out? I would appreciate any suggestions, advice and prayers.
This is just unbelievable to me and it's hard to think clearly when I am so worried about everything at once.
Thank you

I wish I knew I'm going threw the same with my husband but he is working good luck