Okay, I'm new at this sort of thing so please bear with me. I have dated this girl for 4 years, we were friends at first before it turned to anything serious. I just recently bought her a promise ring to show her how much she meant to me and to show how committed I am to her. We started living together on our own after a year into the relationship and things have been good. We had our fights and times where we needed our space but we always worked it out after wards. One day, she calls me up from her friends house and tells me that she needs to take a break and that she needs space. I asked her why she wanted to and she says that she thinks we're growing apart. She says how she still loves me and that will never change. She also wants to still be friends and to still hang out. She said we will get back together eventually but she explained how she depended on me too much and that she wants to stand on her own two feet... to be more dependent on herself. Now I have another question, when a girl tells you that sex with someone else without passion is nothing than why have sex with another person anyway if you're not over your partner? Isn't that still considered cheating of some kind? She says she'll be drunk so it doesn't matter?? Am I crazy to feel that something about that seems wrong. I'm not up to just going after some other woman, Why should she want to go after some random guy? Her decision doesn't make much sense to me and I'm hoping some light can be shed onto this problem. I have never been through this before and it's a confusing time for me. Any responses would be appreciated and if there's something you feel is missing just ask me and I'll explain. Thank You.

You don't have to explain anything, but I will explain it to you. She wants to explore because something has caught her eye, so you have to let her, and be busy and unavailable for her nonsense now.

She put you in the friend zone, in case things aren't as exciting being single as she hopes they are, to keep you close hoping for another chance. That false hope of getting her back will keep you from exploring, and that's exactly what she wants, for you to be available to be her emotional tampon, for when she is bored. As long as you are available for her, you feed her ego, and give her options, when she has time.

Make no mistake, she has been thinking this way for a while, but you are just finding out, so you are confused, but trust me, she is not. She knows what she is doing and if you chase her, she can just keep putting you off with that "friends" crap, and hang out when she has nothing else to do.

She has dumped you, gotten her freedom, and has you as an option. Heed my words my friend, and disappear from her life, and do your thing without her, by being unavailable for just "friends".

Her feelings have changed and you better realize for your own good to accept it, and pursue your own happiness, not hers. Read a few of the stories here. And you will see that false hope, and confusion are but warning for you to leave her alone, and get your own thing together.

Taking a break,needing space=I'm breaking up with you,but please hang around in limbo and be there for me-should I change my mind.

Don't!

Give them all the space in the world.

Don't go down the 'let's be friends'route-won't work.

Disappear from her life and heal.

Let her live with her-being drunk/without passion philosophy and go do your own thing.

I think you should walk away! It's a hard thing to do I know but if someone isn't good for you then that's what you have to do! Straight after a break and she's slept with someone else.. hmm the pieces don't seem to fit!! If it was a random one night stand its still disrespectful towards you! You deserve better! I could never go and sleep with another man straight after a break up even if I dumped the guy!

Thanks for that comment Flower, It is disrespectful to just sleep with a random guy after a break up eh? I am on no contact with her at the moment so I'm hoping she's not just going to sleep with someone else because that is something I could never do myself.