Let me start by saying that I love kids andalways had kids around me all my life .Kids really love me except for my stepkids from hell I have been married to there father for 5 years now and I have been taking care of them for 5 yrs but I'm done.One is 14 son girl 16 and let me tell you I have never met any kids as dirty ,nasty,rude and just very bad hygiene to the point that my family doesn't want to come over cause they smell so bad.I tell his son to take a bath cause he smells and he pretends to do it then his father has to yell at him to do it.son has all f s in school for 3 years doesn't want to clean his room wash clothes do homework,he lies to his father a lot to get his way.daughter is not speaking to me for like a month and avoiding me don't know why cause I was always good to her and her brother.I can't stand to live here anymore they are the only kids in my life that I just don't like cause they are rude ungrateful teens.No chores no bathes no socializing, nocleaning,his daughter this week put 5 overnight kotex filled with blood on her dresser I found it only because the smell was so intense coming out of her door.wow the truth is I can right a novel of shocking nastiness I have encoutered But I tell my husband how I feel he yells at them they don't listen my husband is good to me but we argue sometimes cause his kids are not doing anything to help out and he doesn't want me to leave but I have too cause I can't live in a house with dirty *** lazy,mean, fat slobs anymore.I like to li ve a clean normal life with no eaning my *** offcursing,and filth etc around to cause a horrible environment that's not livible I'm done cl

Five years is a long time to live in such a dysfunctional household.

Do they live with you and your husband full time?

I am curious as to the past years with them what has been done to make everybody's life a little more sane.

With the son doing so poorly in school, has your husband been in to see his teachers? With both of these kids being in such poor shape as you have described them, have you and your husband considered family counselling? When is the last time these kids have had a complete physical.

If they are of normal intelligence and can understand, but choose, to live the way they do, counselling might help. You being angry, and your husband yelling at them to get something done isn't a sustainable solution to any of the problems.

But your question, "How do I leave a good husband with 2 lazy, dirty, mean teens" is pretty simple. You just leave, get a lawyer, file for separation and then divorce him. If you have really given up, it's as simple as that.

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Originally Posted by Jake2008
Five years is a long time to live in such a dysfunctional household.

Do they live with you and your husband full time?

I am curious as to the past years with them what has been done to make everybody's life a little more sane.

With the son doing so poorly in school, has your husband been in to see his teachers? With both of these kids being in such poor shape as you have described them, have you and your husband considered family counselling? When is the last time these kids have had a complete physical.

If they are of normal intelligence and can understand, but choose, to live the way they do, counselling might help. You being angry, and your husband yelling at them to get something done isn't a sustainable solution to any of the problems.

But your question, "How do I leave a good husband with 2 lazy, dirty, mean teens" is pretty simple. You just leave, get a lawyer, file for separation and then divorce him. If you have really given up, it's as simple as that.

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Yes your right- the past years let me tell you starting with his son he doesn't want counseling ,we can't carrie him cause he's chubby , dad took him to doctor needs to loose weight and has fungus on his face around the lip area for not washing himself when he eats which is all day out of control. Dcfs came to our house cause he went to school and said his dad beats him up total crap.my husband talked to social worker but I wasn't home so she called me on the phone really nice lady I told her she can come over to talk and she said it was OK on the phone was good I was brief to the point of her understanding she saw we lived in a clean nice home except his room,case dropped. He needs mental help and so does his sister ,she stay in her room all day in computer ,comes out only to take food in room or go to bathroom and she runs in bathroom she looks retarded. I expected better from her she has good grades but just really needs to clean up and learn not to be lazy and stinky cause shell never get married.

Did I mention his sons teachers have all spoken to my husband to please get deodorant for son cause he's distracting the class. I ts gotten to the point that my husband and I always argue about the same crap cause he is stupid if he thinks I'm going to deal with this crap full time live in nasty assses. I can't stand it I'm tired of cleaning up or smelling them.

Do the stepkids a favor. Leave their father. You apparently are out of patience and sympathy and overstressed if you are beginning to say the children look "retarded."

Your biggest concern for the daughter is that if she doesn't clean up she'll never get married? Maybe she's seen your marriage in action and has no interest in ever getting married.

Someone needs to shake this family up - if you can't deal with "this crap full time/live in nasty asses" then it's time to go.

So do them all a favor and leave.

(I'm the stepmother of 5, by the way. I'm not new to stepchildren and problems.)