I have court papers stating that my ex & I have joint legal custody with physical custody with me. His father has visitation rights. I moved to a different city 3 years ago and my son did not want to start all over with new friends (I had him 14 years). His father & I had certain terms that were to be met if he were to continue to live with him. Those have not been met so I asked that he now come home. His father does not want to let him come home and says I have to have a court order to change his school. How when I am enrolling him in a school in my district since I have physical custody? No changes to our custody has been made.

What state?
And how old is he and what grade is he now finishing... if you had him 14 years until 3 years ago..?

He just turned 17 and will be finishing his junior year. Our court order has been like this for 17 years. I have had him till he was 14. My son did not want to move to the city where I live now 3 years ago. So his father and I decided he could live with his dad as long as certain things were met, grades, no getting in trouble etc. But now certain things have happened where it violates what we agreed upon and I feel it is best he comes back. We only live 30 minutes from each other. We live in California.

You signed off on the school he's been attending for the last 3 years, and allowed him to live with the ex, and I really wonder if the police will bring your son home to you because you now want to enforce your custody. Your ex will probably request a hearing, even though he says you will have to, once he finds out you have enrolled your son in your school.

If your son at 17 prefers to be where he is, how do you propose to force him to live with you and go to a new school for his senior year? Sounds like a recipe for dropping out and running away, and any problems he's having aren't going to magically disappear if he did stay.

Agreed, police will do nothing, in fact your ex has almost a slam dunk case to keep and gain custody of the child.

He has been allowed to keep the child for the last three years and I will assume the 17 year old wants to stay where he is at.

Unless you can prove it will be in the child's best interest, the court in my opinoin will allow the child to say with dad.


So what is happening, grades ? What are they
Trouble, what happened.

But you will have to take him back to court and get the court to order the old agreement to be upheld, If you try anything else the ex can easily get you back to court and get physcial custody.

I would say at this point, some other agreements, counseling, a tutor or something should be considered to try and fix where he is at

Sorry but a court is not likely to allow him to be uprooted this close to graduation. Do you have any documentation of your agreement?

I think a court will look at your letting him stay with the father as giving up primary physical custody.

Yes I have proof of an email stating that we had certain agreements. Yes I have consulted with our local police department & they said yes they would return him home to me since I have proof that I have court orders sayingI have physical custody. It is more than just grades. He was arrested last year & cited, he has had video on his cell phone showing his friends start a fire in their apartment complex. The list goes on & on. Like my uncle said (who is a family lawyer couldn't get a hold of him as he has been in Hawaii for over a month & I don't like to get him involved because its upsetting & am TRYING to do this on my own) you are doing what is in the best interest of your child. You have legal papers, your agreement which was in writing has not been met & just because the child will miss his friends is NOT a good enough reason to let him stay where he is currently at. I asked a question on this forum to get advice because I could not get a hold of him. I thank everyone for the comments. But I know what I am doing is BEST. I KNOW my son & he would not run away. He is too scared. I refuse to let my son be disrespectful & if I can change that within a year & a half, I will. :~)

Frankly, I don't believe the police would get involved without a CURRENT court order requiring he return to you. On the other hand, his being arrested and the other things, make a difference and I know believe a court may decide that the father is not raising him properly.

People here aren't there with you to know all the nuances of the situation. Courts almost always have some leeway for interpreting laws; that's why there are lawyers, judges, and juries. And custody changes do happen. Even if the police do agree to bring him home, that's not necessarily the end of it. Your ex can file.

People here also base opinions on probabilities, such as rebellious teens refusing to go along with court orders. You say your son is scared and wouldn't run, and that you already know what is best, so feel free to proceed to enroll him in school and have him brought home. Or wait for your uncle to get home, get more personal advice, and bake him a pie or give him some gift certificates after he helps.