I have been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years, we have lived togethger 4 years of the 5. I have a son from a previous relationship and I am now pregnant again by him. Anyway about a year and a half ago I found out from family that my boyfriend is on heroin. How could someone else tell me and I not see it myself u may ask? First off I did not grow up around drugs and I don't have friends that do drugs so I didn't know what signs to look for. Anyway after putting it all together I accepted the fact that their accusations were true indeed which left me devastated! I confronted him about it and he told me he has been using for 4 years. I put up with him getting high and continued to be with him because my son loves him to death and considers him his father because he is all that he has known since he was 2. He geuinely loves my son and me and has never done anything to harm us pyshically. After getting pregnant in September I just decided enough is enough and I wanted him to quit before our daughter is born. He lies constantly and always says he will quit cold turkey and ends up using again. I don't know what to do anymore! I'm depressed and stressed and unhealthy pyshically, emotionally and mentally. This is too much for my unborn child I know, but I love him so much and couldn't imagine my family without him. He is everything I could have asked for in a man besides his addiction and I would never leave him out in the cold to overdose and die. What is there to do I know he won't go to rehab, most of his family doesn't know and the ones that do don't care because it's a common thing in his family. Mother and father were on drugs and probably still are! Any advice??

My first advice is to continue your search for information. About heroin addiction, addiction in general and more specifically how you and other family members can deal with the addiction of a loved one.

Narcotics Anonymous (NA) is a good starting point. They have meetings for non-addict family members where you can obtain a wealth of information and personal support.

You can locate a group near you by going here.

We have several members that are experienced in this these matters. I was involved in addiction treatment and research, however, you are best advised to get acquainted with resources in your community to which you have continuing access and support. NA will get you pointed in the right direction.

If you have further, or more specific questions, someone here may be of assistance. Please don't be reluctant to ask.

I guess how does he afford his "habit" is it taking money that could be used to pay rent or food

I know your exact pain and all the hurt and anger and questions that come along with this... as I was reading your story, I started to cry, because it was like I was reading my story. Stay strong, no one will ever understand the amount of love we have for our men and why we stay by their side. Best of luck to you and your family.

Valerie