My boyfriend was killed just over 2 weeks ago on 03 January 2007 in a plane crash and I still don't believe it. He had been away flying so I hadn't seen him in 6 weeks but we talked every night before bed. I saw the pictures of the crash, I planned and executed his funeral and did the eulogy, got to spend time with his body to say goodbye but I don't feel like he is gone. I keep talking to him like he is here beside me. I am 26 and we had been together 4 years and were planning on getting married. We always knew it would be him and me forever but now its just me and I am carrying on like he is still here, talking to him and everything. I don't know if he can hear me or if I'm just turning his memory into my imaginary friend that I take around with me. Am I going crazy? He was my best friend and the only person I could really be me with. Can he hear me? Is his spirit around me? Or am I just acting like a crazy person? And why can't I believe it is real? Ive tried everything but my mind just won't get it

Even if he died he will always be inside your heart, so don't be sad.
If you still want to talk to him I suggest you go create another email address, then if you have any things you want to talk to him about just send it to him

First I want to say I am very sorry to hear about your loss. It is very sad, and I feel your pain. You have been together for years and were planning to get married. He is part of you and you are part of him. There is nothing wrong with talking to him and sharing your thoughts with him. I do believe that his spirit is within your heart and he will always be part of you. Your not going crazy. Your grieving. Your still in Shock. It is normal to feel the way you do. It does take time. I hope you have been receiving counseling but if you have not, now is a good time to start. There is a time where you are going to let him go. There is a time that you are going to have to start living for today and not always living in the past. You need to surround yourself with friends and family and start councel.

Hoping the best for you. Writing your thoughts in a journal is very important.

Joe

I am so sorry for your loss, and at two weeks you are still in a stage where you still can't understand, believe or hardly accept what is going on, this is very normal.

And it never hurts to consider counseling from a religious leader of your choice or a professional couseler to help you get though this time.

And he will always be with you in your heart and most likely with you in spirit. My first wife many years ago and I still talk to her at times, perhaps not as much after all these years, but I still have a tear when one of our favorite songs is played and always when I go by her grave to have a longer talk with her. So he will always be there as long as you want him to be.

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Originally Posted by natasha3

My boyfriend was killed just over 2 weeks ago on 03 January 2007 in a plane crash and i still don't believe it. He had been away flying so i hadn't seen him in 6 weeks but we talked every night before bed. I saw the pictures of the crash, I planned and executed his funeral and did the eulogy, got to spend time with his body to say goodbye but i don't feel like he is gone. i keep talking to him like he is here beside me. I am 26 and we had been together 4 years and were planning on getting married. we always knew it would be him and me forever but now its just me and i am carrying on like he is still here, talking to him and everything. I don't know if he can hear me or if I'm just turning his memory into my imaginary friend that i take around with me. am i going crazy? He was my best friend and the only person i could really be me with. can he hear me? is his spirit around me? or am i just acting like a crazy person? and why can't i believe it is real? Ive tried everything but my mind just wont get it

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Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there, I do not sleep
I am a 1,000 winds that blow
I am the diamond glints on snow
I am the sun on ripened grain
I am the gentle autumn rain
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled light
I am the soft star that shines at night
Do not stand at my grave and cry
I am not there; I did not die.

I'm sorry, and the pain you are feeling must be unbelievable.

If you have any type of religious background, go there. No cure, but it will give you another dimension to kind of "spread load" the pain.

Regardless of religion, if you have iTunes, crank through there and make up a playlist of songs that remind you of what you are thinking about right now... if you could send him a CD right now, what tunes would you select? Make a playlist of that, plug in your headphones, and listen to the music; you'll feel bad, you'll feel good at some memories, it will rip your heart out, but it will be cathartic... Next week, scroll through and make another playlist. Music also helps our thoughts...

I'm sorry for your loss, but glad that you had the time with him you did.

There is no right way to grieve, at least that's my personal experience. Time doesn't nessicarily heal the wound, it just dulls the sharp pains you are feeling right now. Your love and the memories will forever be a part of you and will live on. Loss made me a little stronger I think. It's been almost a year since I lost my boyfriend of 3 years to an accidental overdose, and every minute you get through, every hour or every day is when you realize you are a strong individual and then you can find your place in this world again.

Grief makes us crazy for a while. It is just the way humans process terrible, shocking experiences of the sort you have had. You won't be yourself for a while so now is the time to stick close to those whom you trust -- friends and family. Be extra kind to yourself. Allow yourself to sleep more, if necessary and go easy too. There are stages to grief that you might want to look into -- shock, anger, bargaining, acceptance-- for example. Or perhaps talk at length with someone from your church or a counselor. Most people who have experienced significant loss can say that while they didn't ever get over it, it did get easier to cope with the loss over time. My condolences to you for yours, Natasha.

The pain will never go away completely, but it will become a little duller after a long time, probably years. This was a terrible tragedy, and nothing anyone can say can possibly console you for your lose.
May you never know further sorrow.