Hello... I have a daughter in Front Royal, Va. Both me and the mother agree to me waiving my rights however in court the judge says that can't be done unless her and her new boyfriend are married. I haven't had any contact with the baby in 3 yrs now, in emails to the mother I get cussed out and told to stay out of both the mother and the babies live. I am sick of being treated like crap but I am paying child support and have no rights? Is there any forms or anything I need to fill out to waive my rights?

What rights do you think you want to waive? Child support?

The mother must marry, and her husband must adopt in order for you to waive your rights to your child.

Hello wondergirl... I want to waive my parenatal rights. I am paying support but when I ask about the baby I get cussed out told to f*** off, or shut up.. Its been this way for 3 yrs now, she has also told me the child's not mine when she gets in a bad mood. As for child support I do pay that 175 per month. But I have a paper where she states we both agree to joint custody and visitation I visted for the first 6 months after we broke up went to court the 7th month and she got full custody and basically told me to pay and leave her alone.

Get a DNA test done. If you're the bio-father, you have visitation rights. Get that done.

I'll post a sticky here that's in the Family Law board.

Signing Over Rights
This is a very frequently asked question here. And frequently answered. The following is a summary of the facts and covers most jurisidictions.

1) A bio parent cannot be forced to relinquish their rights, it has to be voluntary.
a) The only exceptions to this are where the bio parent cannot be found after a good faith effort to contact them or in cases where the bio parent represents a danger to the child.

2) Most areas make it difficult for a bio parent to relinquish their parental rights. Usually its allowed only to clear the way for adoption of the child.

3) Relinquishment of rights refers only to the right to have a say in how a child is raised.

4) Relinquishment of parental rights may or may not affect parental responsibility depending on local laws. The parent can still be held responsible for child support or it will be even harder to get a Termination of Parental Rights. A TPR is NOT going to be granted just to let the parent off the hook for support.

5) The only thing that allows ending responsibility is if the child is adopted, in which case the adoptive parents assume that responsibility.

Those are the facts and apply to almost all circumstances in almost all areas. There are several threads here that discuss this issue in greater depth. I would suggest reading them before posting a question.

On a personal note, I do not recommend relinquishing rights unless its to clear the way for adoption. A child deserves to know his parents, not matter how bad the person may have been. People can change.

This was posted by one of our experts --

[The father] will be able to request a paternity test that may or may not be paid by the court. If he is determined to be the father, he will be required to pay support. He will get joint legal custody and visitation, but its unlikely he will get joint physical custody.

And

If he IS the father, then he CAN get visitation rights and probably at least partial custody.

Thanks for that info wondergirl.. She's not forcing me to termanted my rights, its something that I have thought about for the last 2 yrs. I have no phone number for her or address for her either.

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Originally Posted by shawnsdad

Thanks for that info wondergirl.. Shes not forcing me to termanted my rights, its something that i have thought about for the last 2 yrs. i have no phone number for her or address for her either.

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Well, you can't terminate your rights.

Where do you send a child support check?

Do you know for sure this is really your baby?

1. Get a lawyer
2. Go to court and file for visitation
3. If she fails to hand over the child after a court-ordered visitation, she is in contempt of court and you could possibly take the child away from HER.

You don't get to sign over your parental rights. Get over that idea right now. You had sex with the woman, a child is the consequence of sex, now you get to support your child.

If you want to exercise your parental rights, go to court to get them enforced.

In Virginia, if he is paying child support, then he has been determined to be the legal father, either through a paternity acknowledgment or genetic testing. The OP is not stating this despite repeated requests, but that is the case. Why did family court not grant you any visitation? If they did, then you certainly have recourse is she is violating the order.

Why do you think that we have a better answer for you than a VIRGINIA FAMILY COURT JUDGE?! You cannot terminate your rights unless her husband is willing to adopt. End of story. Do you think your child stops eating when you don't see him/her? Do you think that they don't need a roof to sleep under just because you aren't under it too? Bottom line is this: you child is entitled to your support, regardless of your visitation, or your opinion of his/her mother's treatment of you. And, it sounds like you have not taken any steps to protect your rights because you would rather sign them away. She doesn't have to do anything until a court says differently, and you never bothering to petition the court for a change is your problem, not her.