Hi you! I am a 23 year old female who is happily engaged to a US NAVY Sailor!! My fiancé and I have been together for almost 2 years and we are getting married in September of this year. A month or so before we started dating he found out that his little 3month fling thing was pregnant!! Bottom line is that baby momma and me have had a few choice words with one another. She has called my son a bastard child and called me a whore, which may I add is HILARIOUS since she has 2 children by 2 different men and has NEVER been married to either one of them and she is not currently with any of the fathers. Of course, as a mother, I bit back at her for calling my son that. My fiancé and her have joint custody of their son, yet she tells him that I am not allowed around his son, she even goes as far as telling him over text messages that he needs to stop showing me pictures and discussing their son with me. I deleted my Facebook page because there was so much drama on their, yet the funny thing is after I deleted it she told my fiancé that I was sending her messages. I believe that she created a fake profile with my name on it and is sending her self messages to try to cause problems between us. She told my fiancé that she had feelings for him still. He HATES her. Anyway... is there a law against me seeing their son? It is not in the court papers.

If she believes you are a bad influence, are harmful to her child in any way (mentally, physically), yes, she could ask the Court to limit visitation with you/your fiancé. At this point, of course, the problem is between him and her - you have no legal standing.

I would not engage in name calling with her. One of you has to be an adult.

I would also step back when you discuss her - if you engage in conversations about HER past, HER pregnancy, and the child hears and repeats any of the conversation (or attitude) you will be in Court very often.

Has he been DNA tested to prove paternity? Does he pay support?

You get to see him when your fiance/husband is scheduled to have him, and she can't prevent that, at least not legally. She can try to make it difficult of course. Leave that part to him.

Yes... he has had a paternity test and he pays her $724 dollars a month in support. I have yet to meet the little guy and he just turned 1. She prevented my fiancé from seeing his son since 2 months after he was born because she said that she didn't think that he cared for his son because he was in a relationship with me and loves my son too. So right now my fiancé has to drive from Tennessee (where we live) to Virginia (where she lives) and he has to take his parents with him to see his son. This month is the last month that this gets done. Then for the next 3 months he can go alone and the overnights start. I am wondering if there is anything wrong with me going with him once or twice so I can meet this precious little boy that is soon going to be my step son. After these next 3 months we will be able to start getting him for 1 week a month here in Tennessee.

Why does he have supervised visitation?

If she does not want you to see the "precious little boy" there is nothing much you can do at this point. Why aggravate the situation?

As I said - if she is unhappy with you, yes, she can go to Court and request that you NOT have time with the child. I would STAY AWAY, not aggravate the situation, stay on her good side, bite your tongue until you are married.

At this point I think pushing her buttons could very well backfire. Let your fiancé get acquainted with his son before you get involved in the picture.

By the way, I'm stepmother to five children. I KNOW how the mother can react to that new face in her "ex's" life.

I'm confused - you've been "together" for 2 years and he has a 1 year old son by another woman?

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Originally Posted by joypulv

You get to see him when your fiance/husband is scheduled to have him, and she can't prevent that, at least not legally. She can try to make it difficult of course. Leave that part to him.

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Got to correct you here - the mother can and very well might prevent the fiance/girlfriend from spending time with the child. At this moment for whatever reason the father has supervised visitation (posted after you posted), the fiance/girlfriend and mother have gotten into a screaming match over the phone (including debating who is a whore and who is not), the fiance/girlfriend is at best flippant about the mother, the mother is accusing the fiance/girlfriend of sending threatening or harassing messages - yes, the mother very well might decide the OP is not good for the child and the OP has no legal ties to the father OR the child.

I'd play nice, very nice, for the time being.

Once your fiancée is allowed week longs, then you can see the child. I would not, as advised, push any buttons by trying to meet the child now.

Right now you have no legal standing. Once you are married, it will be harder for the mother to restrict your access during your husband's visitation time.

I am curious as to why the visitation originally required his parents along. I'm assuming this was court ordered.

Also, you apparently have a 1 yr old son of your own. I'm assuming this son is by your fiancée. So, since you have not YET married, this child is a bastard. The definition of a bastard is a child born out of wedlock. Granted this word has had a more pejorative meaning in the past, but strictly speaking that's what he is. Now calling you a whore is a different matter and does appear to be the pot calling the kettle black. But you have to deal with that and the best way is to ignore her name calling and try to keep out of her way.

I wouldn't let you see my son, either, if you called me a "three month fling thing".

And if he HATES her, that's probably why he has supervised visitation.

ALL of you need to grow up. All THREE of you.

If your fiancé (not your husband, by the way. Your fiancé. You have NO legal attachment to this man) want more custody and better visitation conditions, he goes to court to get them. And acts like an adult that recognizes that the mother of his child was good enough to have sex with--so he'd better recognize her as good enough to deal with for the next 20 or so years.

So.. HE gets a lawyer, and HE goes to court, and YOU stay the hell out of it because you have NO legal relationship to ANY of the parties involved.

We have almost been together for 2 years in September... which is when we are getting married. My fiancé found out that the lady was pregnant 1 month before me and him started dating. I am trying to bite my tongue for right know out of the respect for my fiancé. JudyKayTee, I should have explained that we have never spoken over the phone... all of our bickerments have been on Facebook on the quotes section. I will take you all's advice. It has helped me so far. It felt good to type it out and get it off my chest. Before I deleted my Facebook page I even wrote her apologizing for anything that I said that may have offended her and to tell her that I want to start fresh and be civil, and that if we could be adults then it would be easier on everyone. She sent my fiancé a text after she received it and told him to tell his bi**h of a girlfriend to never message her again. So that's what I have done... I deleted my account and have not said anything to her since... eventhough she continues to speak about my son in a horrible way... for gods sake... he is 3 years old... what has he done to her?

Sorry for not explaining that part very well... the mother was upset because my fiancé would not take her back, so she kept him from seeing his son since he was 2 or 3 months old. They just went to court in January and the reason that took so long is because my fiancé was on deployment for a few months.
I have a 3 year old son of my own, and no, my fiancé is not the father... another p.o.s is... and the ONLY reason I am not with him is because became physically abusive. I realize what a bastard child is and I have known that for a while, but I guess what pissed me off about that was the fact that she has 2 children by 2 different men and is not with either of them and yet I have NEVER called her children bastards because I would not like my son to be called one. It's not the children's fault that none of us can get along so why even bring them into this. That's how I see it.

I agree, the name calling is juvenile.

You didn't answer what the visitation order was.

The visitation order is for the 1st 3 months one weekend a month (this month being the last of the three) he was to drive to Virginia with his parents on Friday and get his son from the mother on Saturday at 9 a.m. and return him by 5 p.m. then pick him up again at 9 a.m. on Sunday and have him back by 12 noon that same day. The judges reason for this is so that he can get re-acquainted with his son. Then for the next 3 months one weekend out of that month, he drives up to Virginia from Tennessee (where we live) by himself and the overnights start... he gets his son at 9a.m. on Saturday and returns him at 12 noon on Sunday. After this set of 3 months he has to meet her half way, which is Ronake V.A. for us since we live in middle tennesse, and he picks up his son and he has him here for 1 whole week a month. He has joint custody with her and she is trying to tell him that when she gets deployed with the Army he will not be allowed to keep his son.

I was giving a much too simple answer to OP's question, 'Is there a law against me seeing their son.'
And I was still working on my response when JudyKayTee replied. I would have not answered had I seen it.

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Originally Posted by NavyFiancee

the visitation order is for the 1st 3 months one weekend a month (this month being the last of the three) he was to drive to Virginia with his parents on friday and get his son from the mother on saturday at 9 a.m. and return him by 5 p.m. then pick him up again at 9 a.m. on sunday and have him back by 12 noon that same day. The judges reason for this is so that he can get re-acquainted with his son. Then for the next 3 months one weekend out of that month, he drives up to Virginia from Tennessee (where we live) by himself and the overnights start...he gets his son at 9a.m. on saturday and returns him at 12 noon on sunday. After this set of 3 months he has to meet her half way, which is Ronake V.A. for us since we live in middle tennesse, and he picks up his son and he has him here for 1 whole week a month. He has joint custody with her and she is trying to tell him that when she gets deployed with the Army he will not be allowed to keep his son.

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OK, so I assume he plans on fulfilling these requirements.

Did you type this correctly; "she is trying to tell him that when she gets deployed with the Army he will not be allowed to keep his son." Does that mean she is ALSO in the military? I don't think a court would agree to her interpretation. In fact, it would probably say that while SHE is deployed, he gets primary custody.