My best friend is changing. And not for the better! Last year we spent a lot of time together because we had many classes together. Now, this year, we have none. In the few days we have been back in school, she, let's call her Chrissy, has gotten increasingly meaner towards me!

I went to one of my other friends, let's call her Nikki, and asked her if she had noticed a change in Chrissy's behavior. She said she had and was sick of it. I asked Nikki if she knew why, and she told me that Chrissy had been hanging around one of my former friends, let's call her Allie (we were best friends through grade school, had a huge fight in high school, she went goth, and we can't stand each other and don't speak).

Sorry if this is getting confusing!

Ever since Chrissy and Allie have been hanging out, Chrissy has been treating me increasingly worse. Now she's border-lining on treating me as a sub-human. I'm not a particularly assertive person, but if this continues I'm going to "assert" my foot into her ! Because I don't appreciate this change AT ALL.

So my question is how do I confront her and how can I get Chrissy away from Allie before it's too late? Immediate help would be fantastic! :-[

I'd say that you need to let "Chrissy" know of this change in behavior. Maybe she didn't realize that she was being mean to you... also it kind of sounds like your trying to control who she hangs out with... that is if your saying that she shouldn't hang out w/ that "Allie" chick. I mean just because your not friends with her doesn't mean that "Chrissy" can't be.

To clarify, I'm not at all trying to control who Chrissy hangs out with. I would just prefer her not to hang out with Allie because she tends to brainwash people. Everyone of her new friends since HER... um... lifestyle change... has suddenly become extremely b_tchy, slutty, and anti-social. It would kill me to see Chrissy go through that.

OK I understand now... but still just because "Chrissy" hangs out w/ "Allie" does that mean that she will turn out like her... are you exactly like your friends? I mean I have friends that aren't anything like me and I still maintain my morals and personality... also are you sure this isn't just a change in personality... not necessarliy because of "Allie"

I'm 99.9% sure that this change has something to do with Allie. Chrissy an I spent a lot of time together this summer because we are on the same dance team (a team that Allie was previously on and she was not let back on for numerous reasons -- another reason for the animosity) and she was fine -- she was the Chrissy I knew. But then school started back up and she began hanging out with Allie and that's when the change slowly began to take place.

Do I have a valid concern or is this just hormones?

Does chrissy have ne reason to be in a bad mood... maybe boy probs, family probs, or friend probs.. because that can affect how people act. If she's been involved w/ ne of these than tat could be the reason she's been acting differently.

Thanks christine, but I'd really rather talk to you in person. I had the best of intentions when I went and talked to nicole. I was worried about you. I'd alread lost alidha and I see her as a black hole now. I just don't want us to go through the same thing that me and alisha went through because it was too painful for me. I spent many nights crying myself to sleep because I had lost my best friend forever. I don't think I can do that again.

Hey Linz,

It looks like you're worried about "Chrissy" a lot. Have you ever talked about how Chrissy makes you feel?

If "Chrissy" is still being mean to you, maybe she's just not being a good friend. I'd say, in my opinion... Start spending less time worrying about "Chrissy" and it sounds like Nikki is a good person. Maybe you could hang with her and talk to her about things.

I think some people come and go and people changes. But, it doesn't mean that everybody is going to join Chrissy. Eventually, sooner or later, you'll find someone new, maybe someone who'll be a good friend and enjoys spending time with you. All it takes is time.. I know.

I didn't meet my best friend 'til around '98 or something... and we're still best friends ever since then.

Confronting Chrissy with a behavioural analysis seems, in my opinion, the worst thing to do. I'm a very detached person, so my reply is slightly skewed to my odd personality. I would approach her when she isn't with (allie?) and say "Look, I get that all the sudden you don't like me or whatever, but it's kind of retarded that you act like you are still my friend while treating me this way (be prepared to give examples). So if you're just over being my friend, why not stop talking crap and letting it go, 'kay?' with an extra-sarcastic emphasis on the 'kay.

But that's just me.

Hi,
It is very rare to have more than 2 or 3 "lifelong" very close friends. People change, and make new friends.

Your best bet now is to leave her (both of them) alone. Stay away from them. Try making new friends. If the first one is truly a friend, she will eventually see it. If not, you have lost nothing.

Best wishes and good luck,
fredg

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Originally Posted by linz_legrand

My best friend is changing. And not for the better! Last year we spent alot of time together because we had many classes together. Now, this year, we have none. In the few days we have been back in school, she, let's call her Chrissy, has gotten increasingly meaner towards me!

I went to one of my other friends, let's call her Nikki, and asked her if she had noticed a change in Chrissy's behavior. She said she had and was sick of it. I asked Nikki if she knew why, and she told me that Chrissy had been hanging around one of my former friends, let's call her Allie (we were best friends through grade school, had a huge fight in high school, she went goth, and we can't stand eachother and don't speak).

Sorry if this is getting confusing!

Ever since Chrissy and Allie have been hanging out, Chrissy has been treating me increasingly worse. Now she's border-lining on treating me as a sub-human. I'm not a particularly assertive person, but if this continues I'm gonna "assert" my foot into her ! because i don't appreciate this change AT ALL.

So my question is how do I confront her and how can I get Chrissy away from Allie before it's too late?? Immediate help would be fantastic! :-[

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Well I think you should let her go, people separate all the time, and if she's going to treat you like that , you shouldn't call her your best friend. Right now I am having a problem with my best friend, she never seams to pay any attetion to me or appriciate anything I do she won't come with me to even get food, water nothing. She always makes up lame exuces when she can't do something and now I can tell she's hiding everything from me. She tells me we will be best friends forever but I know she's wrong. The only person she needs in her life is her boyfriend. And I'm deciding to leave her cause every time I forgive her she does the same thing over and over again.

Linz, hang in there. Chrissy will become who she becomes as you will become who you become. My best friend in high school and I hardly ever talk but we are still very close. She had her friends in school and I had different friends in school. As long as we kept our friends at a distance from each other then all was good. Talk to Chrissy about how you feel. Maybe talk to her at her home where she feels safe and non-threatened. Allie likely won't be there and maybe you and Chrissy can work things out. Remember that you often lose touch with your dearest friends after high school and make really good friends in college.

I have the same problem right now, My just found out that my friend blew me off on our "planed hang out" just because she wanted to hang out with my other friends. And her excuse was "My mom said i couldn't" I mean seriously, she's 17 its just BS. So I think you should ask her why she's acting that way and if she's still being a biotch forget about her!:) Good Luck my friend.

Agreed!

This was helpful with my situation, thanks!:)

Hi my friend all of you I have problem to add person friend what is problem please open my add person friend

Im having the same problem.. my best friend is clinging on to this other girl and she wants to be bestfriends with her but she's being mean to me now.. what should I doo?? Please someone help me D: