Ask Me Help Desk - Dna drama! Please help!

Dna drama! Please help!

I have a daughter who is 7 months old. I am married to her father, and there is not a doubt at all that she is his daughter. I did not sleep around so please don't think that. My husband is in the army though, and I was not married to him at the time I got pregnant, and before we rushed into making any decisions we did both date other people. One of the guys that I had dated was someone I had known for over 10 years, and we ended up having a very immature relationship (he cheated on me etc etc.. There is just a ton of history there.) Hes one of those kinds of guys that will make you miserable if they're not happy. We did have a relationship BEFORE I was pregnant, a WHILE before, and I was smart enough to walk away from it, but apparently I didn't stay away. Now I am finally happy. I have an amazing husband and a beautiful daughter, I am in college- My husband is deployed now, which is tough, but I am so completely happy with my family that a year in afghanistan is just a speed bump we'll have to get passed. Well my ex has found out about my daughter and that I'm happy etc, and is pretty bent out of shape about it. Rumor has it, he's telling everyone that my daughter is HIS daughter and wants a DNA test. I am severely upset about this. I did date his WHILE I was pregnant, before my husband and I were togther but my dauhter is NOT HIS. My husband did sign her bith certificate. She is his. I NEED HELP! I know she's not his, but I can't just give in and get a DNA test for his sake. I don't need people like him involved in my life, I know I should have realized that before I ever got involve with him, but I have enough on my plate this year with my husband not around, and this is that last thing HE needs being in afghanistan. Is there any way I can prevent him from doing this? Does he even have the right to? I would appreciate any advice... thank you so much. And please don't get the wrong impression, I am completely embarrassed to even have to be asking this. Feel free to ask if you have any questions. Also, my ex is LEGALLY a sex offender and on parole.

Well the best thing to do is ignore him if he wants a test done he will have to pay for it if it gets that far don't let him get to you because the way you make him sound he likes making people miserable and that's what he is trying to do to you so if he wants to push the issue just tell your husband what's going on and if it goes to court the judge will ask you do you think your child is his and you say no and then your ex will say he thinks it your child is his so then the judge will say well you will have to pay this much money hopefully he will just go away which won't happen I really can't tell you how to fix it.
But hopefully he will go away if he gets to be too much of a problem call the cops but you should tell your husband before it gets to him unless you already told him.

If he goes to court, the court can order you to allow the child to be tested.
(You say that you dated him before you were pregnant, and later say you dated him while you were pregnant; are you saying that you were dating only your husband during the time you GOT pregnant? Not that it really matters.)
If you have serious concerns, hire a lawyer.

Quote:

Originally Posted by lna722

I am married to her father, I did not sleep around ... , I was not married to him at the time i got pregnant, We did have a relationship BEFORE i was pregnant, I did date his WHILE i was pregnant,... .

Hmmm…You dated him before and after you were pregnant…?
Thus you gave him a cause for court action.

Quote:

Originally Posted by lna722

Is there any way I can prevent him from doing this? Does he even have the right to?.

Probably yes,probably no.It depends on your location. He has right to ask for a DNA test in 34 states and he does not have right to do it in 16 states…:cool:

ANY question on law needs to include your general locale as laws vary by area.

As noted, he may have the right to ask a court to order a DNA test. But ONLY a court can force you submit to one.

As to his mouthing off, your friends know you, if anyone asks about it, tell them there is no way he is the father and you will not discuss it further.

No, I was not dating him when I got pregnant, I was actually in a completely different state.

Which state would this be done through, the state in which he lives or the state that my daughter was born in? He lives in NH, and she was born in TN.

So tell your friends he is a lier and a jerk, tell them that he is free to waste his money on a DNA test but he does not want one since he has never asked for one, Tell them he is merely trying to cause trouble and you wish he would shut up.

Report this to his PO that he is harassing you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by joypulv

(You say that you dated him before you were pregnant, and later say you dated him while you were pregnant; are you saying that you were dating only your husband during the time you GOT pregnant? Not that it really matters.)

Quote:

Originally Posted by GV70

Hmmm…You dated him before and after you were pregnant…?
Thus you gave him a cause for court action.

There is a difference, you do understand, between "dating" and having sex?

Comment on AK lawyer's post

The word dating is frequently used these days for having sex more than once, when the context is clear. There's no single word to use other than the one we can't use here.

Quote:

Originally Posted by joypulv

The word dating is frequently used these days for having sex more than once, when the context is clear. There's no single word to use other than the one we can't use here.

As used in this thread, that meaning would be inapplicable as well. One doesn't need to have sex more than once in order to conceive.

If the OP were testifying in court that she didn't "date" the man during such-and-such a time, she would probably be asked to clarify: "by 'date', do you mean 'have sex'?"

There has to be a single word for everything? We can't use the phrase "having sex" here? Oh. I'll try to remember that. :rolleyes:

Lol Im sorry for the confusion here... Yes I guess I was using the word "dating" very vaguely here. I was actually dating my ex quite some time before I met my husband. I ended up moving away and MONTHS after that I got pregnant by having sex, not dating. It was pretty much a one night stand gone wrong. When I moved back home and was "dating" my ex again, that's really all it was, we weren't having sex. Im sorry for the confusion.

OK, AK, we don't need one word for having sex. It just struck me that we have many one word terms for having sex, but none are to be used in court, and many people do substitute 'dating' on TV small claims shows and sites like this. I was going to get cute with a suggestion but changed my mind. But I didn't need to comment on all this under your remark, so I apologize.

Quote:

Originally Posted by lna722

... Im sorry for the confusion.

Not a problem. I tend to be too much of a stickler for correct usage. I know that. It's one of my faults.

And, Joypulv, you didn't have to apologize either. I think I was having problems dealing with a slow day yesterday, and went overboard discussing a point that perhaps didn't need to be discussed.

Quote:

Originally Posted by lna722

Which state would this be done through, the state in which he lives or the state that my daughter was born in? He lives in NH, and she was born in TN.

Tennessee.