My ex wife recently informed me that she is getting married and wants to move the kids from Colorado to Georgia. My daughter will be a senior in high school next year, my son a sophomore and my youngest son is just starting middle school. She says it will be a good thing for them and a chance to start over. We have been divorced 5 years, during which time she has been married once for 1 year to a guy who verbally and physically abused my kids, had another man in her life for 3 years - never married him, but he had a key to the house, and is now marrying a new guy. My kids no nothing about the guy except he is "nice." She has pretty much convinced them that it is their best interest to move and painted a "glitter and unicorn" picture of the new life. I have the right to say "no" but wonder if it is the right thing. I want my kids here but they say they want to go. Any suggestions?

If she has painted a nice picture then of course they want to go; you as the father however have every right to say no, but then you will have them. So what do you want to do? Suggestions, go back to court and sort it out legally. But the answer isn't in shared custody whereby they travel to you part of the time and interrupt their education and new schools. That won't work for them and will be disruptive. They need to be STABLE, right ? You know your kids better then we do. Can you move where they are going to be? Big decisions for you to make, some things will be a real deal breaker.
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Skiing is not nearly as good in Georgia.

I would like my kids to stay here with me. Especially my daughter since it is her senior year in high school. But she has had anxiety issues and finally is on medication. She thinks this will be a new start for her since no one will know about her before. I have thought about moving to be closer to them, but I have been unemployed for 2 years and just recently started a new job. This is the only home and schools they have know in their lives. And I am concerned about the new step-dad. They have only met him about 8 times and usually on Sunday mornings. They haven't been with him for more than 6 hours at a time. While he may be nice then, it will be very different when they are there 24 hours a day.

I suggest that you let them go if they first have come up with a workable financial plan to return if and when it doesn't work out.

Yes, I go with AK, but I am more for the personal aspect. Your daughter is looking for a new start, but doesn't realize the personality issues if she anxiety issues. I feel for her, truly,not even knowing too much about her. You obviously love your kids, so I would suggest, even though you have a new job, twigging things so you can move closer. I know it must be hard for you.

I know we don't know the whole story and there is always two sides.

But if you love your kids, please work something out. Lot to think about as I said before.

I don't know what you want us to say really.

Tick

Just trying to understand why the ex thinks this is good for the kids. They hardly know the guy who will be the new step-dad. They have only met him 6-8 times over the last 6 months and then only on Sunday morning for Church and lunch. I am concerned about moving them into a new situation where their mom will be trying to create a stable relationship with her new husband and they know nothing.

My daughter had an opportunity to make new friends over the past 3 months with the school musical and she failed too. I don't know why she thinks it will be different in Georgia.

I'm just trying to figure out the right thing to do for the kids. I'm not sure how moving them across the country, away from everything they know and away from me into a new place where they know no one and are put into a home where they don't even know the birthday or favorite color of the guy who will be their step-dad.

Having a hard time understanding why dads always have to give in.

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Originally Posted by kfinlco

having a hard time understanding why dads always have to give in.

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They don't. If you don't think this is a good idea, don't allow it to happen. The kids think they want this, but you are the adult. Tell them that you don't think this is a good idea, not yet anyway, and refuse to give your permission.

I assume that your custody order gives you certain rights to specific times with the kids. Insist on keeping that schedule.

I think I said in my original post that OP has to be firm in his resolve that the (or something like) kids not go, custody be adjusted, whatever. OP doesn't have to agree to kids being moved so far away unless he is positively wishy washy about his ex determining the outcome of how she wants it to be. Guilt trips really should not work in the real world; the point is, OPs kids are being taken away him AND THAT SHOULD NOT ALLOWED BECAUSE OF WHIM ON HIS EX'S part.

OP, stand up for your rights as a parent. Consult your lawyer or get a new one who has your best interests (and money) to think about.

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