I really need to know why can't I be healed?
It has been long time since he told me things between us is over and I experienced every step in the grief but still can't have normal life
Why after I feel like I overed him the pain come back and it is back more powerful and I miss him like hill... every inch of my body miss his touch
Will I be able to be with some one else?
Every one I know say I'm better without him
But my heart and my body say another thing...
I choosed to live in Grey's anatomy's world as an alteranative world and I watch it over and over again wishing and praying to have normal life but I cant
I feel so lonely and need some one to talk to
Will I find someone here?

Stop watching the TV and start getting outside.

Your life is happening Monday to Sunday,what are you doing with it?
Get some air,go for a walk,eat!
Stop listening to sad music,talk to people,go to the gym,see your gp if you this is taking over your life.

You don't say what age you are nor how long ago the breakup was,but people do recover,they do go on to other relationships and other loves.
But it takes work and effort.
You have to love you first!

Mc'dreamy on a Monday night is fine,but the real thing is out there waiting for you to recover and heal.

I'm 25 and I'm trying to do post studies and it was my first relation lasted for 4 years and then he got scared and with all the selfishness in all worled he told me he can't trust me to be his wife.. im lonely and don't have any one else in my life4him

I don't have job 2

That is why I think my world stopped

Do you have family? Friends? People who know what's happening in your life now?

Four years is a big investment in a relationship,its certanily not to be sniffed at,but the only way to move forward is by actions.

Your old plan with this man is gone,but you can make a new plan,what's stopping you, only yourself.

Breakups are hard,and a broken heart takes time to heal,but if you linger over it,mull over the circumstances for too long it can take over your life,to help yourself to stop feeling bad you need to take care of you now.

Talk to your family your friends and even your doctor for support.

Hey sweetheart.. I went through the same mess 6 years and a kid involved!I did the same I sat and watched Grays Anatamy with my best friend we would even stay up all night on fridays and watch or try to watch a whole series. I would try to get drunk and that would only make it worse.. wow I would chase him down an we would fight like physically, last tym I broke his nose and phone and he fractured my jaw. For a while I tried pills it did help to an extent but boy I hated when I didn't have them I am always in a bad mood now its awful, I have bad nerves and I shake so I am going to see a doctor, but to get over him you just have to push your selfu won't until your ready having someone else helps a lot though I mean it really just takes tym, don't try anything I tried because it is harmfull and not good for you but just do stuff get funny movies like the hangover and madagascar lol go shopping find a job that will keep your mind off things, you have to love yourself know what it is you want and don't say him because in a year or so you willlook back an say eww why would I do all that over hym? Girl do you ull get over it in tym believe me I did and prey he will help you and bless you with the better things that you need

Oh.. I'm choked really I thought I'm the only one to have this kind of issues
Thanks sweeti for sharing pain.. but as I said before he was the 1st one who touched me inside before out side.. I mean my soul before body

Comment on redhed35's post

I do have.. but they thought I brokeup with him long time ago and I forgot him as I try not to get them involve with my emotional issues... and my friends not many and they have their own lives and as I told you they think I'm better without him

Yeah all my friends told me for years that I was too good for him and I didn't listen he was texting me today and I just kept telling him there's no love like the song by eminem no love hethreatened to hurt me witch he had in the past he fractured my jaw and about 4 years ago he beat me up really bad he blacked my eyes and wouldn't stop the car he just kept hitting me but for some reason I thought it was love because I loved him but its not and I don't want to go through it anymore my life is better wo him the more I say I don't have any love the more I will believe it just do anything to keep your mind off him because if they hurt you they don't love you just by him nowing you love him and leaving you he's just going to keep doing it if he knows he can get away with it and you will take him back the laugh will be on you that's just how I think about it with my babydaddy he thinks it's a game and he sets back and laughs but the jokes on him now because I'm not giving him another chance I'm working and shopping in my spare time.. on myspace listening to music just making myself busy its crzy he is even in my dreams sometimes but I'm going to stay strong because I'm a grown *** woman who doesn't need a man to carry me! Ive really been bymyself this whole time because he never really loved me for him I just think it was something to do. Men are a holes and don't care about anyone but their selves at least most of them. So keep your head up because we carry the family we are the heart and the streanth they just live in our world girl! Ull be alrite in time I promise;)

Well.. I'm not an active member in this site but I used it for once and it helped... but I think my problems are growing I had a many failing's in my life and it all happened after I finished my college my love life sucks and I got soooo deeply hurt.. and I couldn't keep my job... and my friends became strangers and I can't talk to any one easily... and if I did I can't trust in any one any more... and now I don't get out of my house easily... I live with my family and most of the time I just sit in my room on my computer... so I'm 25 and don't have a life and I'm afriad that I will end up alone... and even if I saw some guy I like or I felt I would have feelings for some one I destroy the relation and try to run.. I don't know what is wrong with me I feel like I want to give up and not to get involve in the outside world

I really need help I feel like I have many emotional issues that I can't deal with.. just need to talk to some one to help me heal and to get life back please

Last November you replied to someone that you weren't aware that others went through what you go through! You also said thanks for sharing, BUT.. and proceeded to say more about your pain.
Much as it seems not meaningful, 'getting out of yourself' involves realizing that about 3 billion people in the world are in a lot of real physical as well as emotional pain, from oppression, starvation, thirst, abuse, lack of shelter. You have a family who let you in, when they could have said 'You are an adult, you are on your own.' Or get a job and contribute to expenses or get lost. Or you could have no family to even go home to. You also need to force yourself out the door, as others told you. One way people in grief do that is by volunteering. Animal shelters have more now than ever. So do people shelters and food pantries and soup kitchens.
1 - You are not alone in pain
2 - Most of the world is worse off
3 - You have family and a home and a college education and youth and presumably health
4 - You are capable of helping others
5 - You are capable of contributing to your household

The first thing you need to do, is see your Doctor, and bring with him and copy of your post.

The second thing is, until you are emotionally healthy, or healing from emotional/mental health problems, you are jumping the gun on many things.

For example, while you are feeling this way, you want to get out there, establish friendships, maybe a boyfriend, enjoy the things in other words, that you used to enjoy. But, you are in a place now where, wanting those things, and being able to work on getting them, is like going from zero to 100 in less than 10 seconds.

Goals are fine, but if you know that you are unable to achieve them, as you have said, then you need to find out how to go about addressing the real problems, that are holding you back.

This isn't as simple as having broken your leg skiing, and lamenting about how you can't go out and ride your bike. That is only temporary, and you know that in six weeks you'll be riding again.

Where you are is in a place that you won't just 'snap out of it'. You would feel the same if you were living on your own, or if you were married, or if you were in your first year of college. This mindset you are in, would have had you feeling the same way, regardless of the circumstances in my opinion.

Please see a Doctor, and start there. As much as it might be difficult for you to do so, accept that you very likely need help in getting out of this dark murky place you are in. And there are many resources to help you.

Comment on Jake2008's post

Thanks for your answer I really appreciate it... I do want to get better and I already searched a lot for jobs but couldn't find yet and I looked for help already but my location doesn't courage with this types of things illness and as I said I stay with my family and they can't aford it because I I want to see doctor it would be so high that is why I thought to get help here because I think I could get help if I found some one I can talk to to help me

Comment on joypulv's post

I never said or thought that there aren't actual proplems with other people but you can consider this talk from me as scream for help that is all and believe me if I told you I'm so surprised and deppressed as I see my empty life around me and my disability to deal with other people and my difficulties to have out life

First you are sitting in your room not going out,

You have a serious problem, that is the first thing you have to admit and face.

Next there is help in every place in the US that I know of, and most areas have it based on income if you use therapists though the state, or most religious leaders of the faith of your choice offer free or low cost counseling.

And it does not have to be one of your faith, I have used in years past various pastors from the Catholic to the AME church. If you have a Catholic Charities near by, a good place to start for help

Sometimes it is difficult to know when you're just having a about of the blues, or you have surpassed a temporary situation, and it has become a long term, and permanent situation. The latter, prevents you from getting back to where you were, or should be.

Because you are unemployed right now, and affording a Doctor is not in the cards for you, why not visit a local women's organization, or social services. Any local University or College has resources as well. They can direct you to get the help you need. To me, it is no different than not being able to put food on the table, or have shelter, there are ways to address the issues that you have.

If you weren't with family right now, and instead had to come up with money for rent, it wouldn't be a choice to seek help. Maybe that is a way to look at this.

I think the worst fear I have for you reading your words, is that you don't have the motivation, or desire to seek help, because of, the way you are thinking, and the situation you are in. I am not blaming you in any way, for where you find yourself now.

In the meanwhile, it might be helpful for you to spend a little time, each day, and start a detailed diary. When you write about a topic that is on your mind, try to complete the story, with possible solutions. It may be as simple as seeing something bothering you written out, for you to reflect on, and work through yourself.

I am famous for writing. I buy the little notebooks from the nearest buck store, and found that when things hit me hard, I was practically able to write a whole notebook on one item. And I also found that when you actually start to think about the problem, you write far more than you have remembered in the thoughts themselves. There is insight into writing, even if it doesn't make sense at the time, in a week, or two weeks down the road, you might read your words and realize or see something that will offer solutions, or things that may lead you to solving problems, on your own.

It is also a good idea to stick to some sort of schedule. Instead of being overwhelmed and waking up in the morning thinking I've GOT to get a job today, schedule it on a calendar. And schedule other things. Take a 20 minute walk, do a few loads of laundry, make some enquiries about resources are available in your community, there are a million things, that when you are better organized, you can accomplish. Even if in the beginning they are small steps, small manageable steps, will move you forward and into a better place.

Well I don't know my point of start but I have been thinking a lot to get help and if I had what to tell so I guess I will say my current feelings right now which is I always feel hollow and dark from inside and when I be alone even for amoment my tears start and I feel like I don't want to stop crying and I keep remembering bad situations and many thoughts in my head about family and my ex that hurt me and a lot of things happened and when I remember it I wish I can go to change my act or say and this happen over and over and some times I feel I would throw up... and I cry for any eason especially when I see any scene at TV either was romantic or sad...
I was advised to go out and to get real life but I don't find the will in me to do this and every day I say I want to go out but after awhile I think that I don't have any one to be with so I don't leave the house and I lost my best friend so I really don't have any one to talk to.. what can I do plus I can't afford seeing doctor because I don't have ajob

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Originally Posted by lonlybluestar

I was advised to go out and to get real life but I don't find the will in me to do this and every day I say I want to go out but after awhile I think that I don't have any one to be with so I don't leave the house and I lost my best friend so I really don't have any one to talk to..

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Improving your life is your choice and your responsibility. There is nothing anyone can do to make you change. This is completely up to you. Meanwhile, you give excuses not to do the things you must do to improve your life.

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what can I do

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You know what to do.

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I can't afford seeing doctor because I don't have ajob

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Yes, you can. Many counselors work on a sliding scale depending on your income or lack of it. If nothing else, work out a bartering agreement.