My boyfriend cheated on me it hurts so bad I never thought he would. We have been talking sense July and its now march. We were talking in 2009 from November to December and we mutually ended it. We were always friends but we both always still have feelings for each other so decided to get back together in July. It hurts because I feel like he was my first love. I'm just a mess right now. Can someone please help me on something that would make me feel better. I just want to text him and yell at him. The worse part on him cheating on me is that he's blaming it on me that I'm a *****. I'm starting to annoy him with the text messages. I feel like I'm just going to fall apart if I don't talk to him some how. I am a ***** to him and I feel like I'm starting to put it on me. When I'm not a ***** to him though I give it my all and do everything for him. I stopped smoking stopped drinking lost a ton of friends because of him. And I just don't no what to do right now I feel like I'm falling apart.

All of your dates, nov, dec, then July, not sure when he cheated on you, is it a couple of weeks, a couple of months or almost a year ?

But you stop all contact, no texts, don't read any he sends, don't answer any, don't talk to him on the phone, don't open any emails, and move on with your life.

Your going to be okay.

There are a few things you need to do over the next few days, gather your family and friends and let them know what's happened, they will support you and you need emotional support now.

Delete his number, even if you know it by heart, delete it.

Do not call him he does not want to hear from you, if you do call him all that will happen is you will get hurt again and again.

Eat something.

Go to work or school what ever you normally do.

Go for a walk, somewhere nice, a park,a wood and just walk it out.

He cheated and the betrayal is massive, BUT, it will ease and the hurt will ease.

There is always someone here to lend an ear and offer advice and support.

First things first.. no contact... thats for you not him, its for you to let the emotional dust settle and to clear your head,as soon as you start no contact the healing begins.

Disappear from his life completely and get your friends back. Have a good cry, and do something good for yourself that makes you feel great. Shopping? Retail recovery is a start.

When losers see their former victims happy, it drives them nuts.