Just six days to reach 20, when I were 18 my mother thought that I am crazy, really, but the doctor said that I'm just genius. He told me my mental age is something between 40 and 50 and/or more. At that age it means my IQ is between 222 and 277 and more. I suffer from this understanding what that nobody can understand and acting crazy at what others can easily handle and solve. My personality type is INTP, and I'm almost a dead body. My father, he is addict, around 30 years, I had never had a father! And my mother, she were never with me also. I had no friends, my mother says that when I was a kid I was alone too and I never played with kids at my age. I have suicidal thoughts, major depression, some signs of schizophrenia. Drinking alcohol, I smoke. I really don't know what to do with my life, I just think its going wrong... now I'm a student of structural engineering. I wanted to study physics in university... I don't know, really... if you want to say that follow what you like, better don't. There are many things that I like and I have passion for and I can handle... I'm just crazy saying these things I just wanted an ear to hear what I say, I was so depressed you know. Sorry for taking your time.