Hi someone is smoking outside my back garden gate at night ont every night, but at least twice a week, I know it's a man and I know that he knows me as he has called my name before, I also know I recognise the voice but not well enough to be able to identify him, so I can't figure out who it is, I've never seen him, I'm too worried to look to be honest. Hes called my name and also thrown stones at my window to try and get my attention. What can I do to find out who it is without going out there at night? As I can't go to the police without some form of evidence and right now there isn't any. Ps this has been going on and off for years. I don't understand why someone would do this. Any ideas would be great. Thank you

If you are truly scared or worried, call the police and tell them what is going on.

Do you have security lights on the back gate? You can also look into security cameras. That way you can 'look' without looking.

You can also ask your neighbors if they have seen anything suspicious. If he has been doing this for as long as you say, someone has probably seen him or he is a neighbor or friend/relative of a neighbor.

End being scared by taking action.

You can call the police the next time they come. You don't need "evidence" if they are there. This actually sounds more like harassment, regularly standing outside your house, even throwing stones at your window.

Maybe get some of those motion censored lights in the mean time too.

The thing is I need to be certain of who it is first how can I set a trap to find out? Any ideas?

Why do you have to be certain who it is?

The next time he shows up, let the police find out.

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Originally Posted by Cat1864

Why do you have to be certain who it is?

The next time he shows up, let the police find out.

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Exactly. Lights and cameras might help, but then what if it's someone you don't know or don't trust? Ultimately, the safest thing to do is just call the police next time they show up, whether you've figured out who this person is.

So it has been going on for years ? Who lives that close that is a man who would be doing it ? Or just yell out, or walk out and ask who is this.

Tell the police.

Im sure he's been standing and chucking his cigarette butts everywhere.

Let them do there job. Don't touch anything. But you must report this.

Why wouldn't you if someone is calling your name and deliberately harassing you by throwing stones at your window?

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Originally Posted by lloydy02

the thing is i need to be certain of who it is first how can i set a trap to find out? any ideas?

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I don't understand why you have to know who it is before you call the police.

If this is someone that was trustworthy, honest, good, he wouldn't be standing in your backyard at night, smoking and throwing rocks. He'd approach you in a civil manner. He's obviously trying to scare you, otherwise why would he be going about this the way he is?

Call the cops. Protect yourself. If he's not man enough to tell you who he is in the daytime in a proper way, then he's not worth knowing, or protecting.

I don't need to know who it is, there are no cigarette butts anywhere and when I say its been going on for years, I don't mean they're there every week every year, I mean its been on and off for years. By the time I notice the smell of smoke they have usually gone. So I can't call the police. Also the calling my name and throwing stones only happened once. But your right ill call the police and see what they can do to help me, thanks.

OK, this second post paints a completely different picture than your first post. Is this someone regularly harassing you by smoking outside your house, calling your name, and throwing stones at your window? Or did someone once call your name and throw stones at your window, and someone regularly walks by your house smoking? Do you even know that this is actually the same person? Ever?

Cigarette smoke can be really strong. For example, if I'm at my cousin's house and the window by a walkway is open, we can smell the cigarettes of anyone that walks by as they walk past. So is this just someone out for a stroll and having a smoke and you're making this into more than it is? Or is someone actually harassing you?

ERROR: You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to justcurious55 again.

Good question.

The OP's latest post does seem to paint an entirely different picture then her original post.

If the initial incident of rock throwing and calling your name only happened once, it's entirely possible that there's just someone smoking outside and you're smelling it, and the person that did throw the rock and call your name has never returned.

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Originally Posted by lloydy02

i dont need to know who it is

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Ok then what do you want to know?

I would have thought you'd want to know who it is to stop this from happening. Call me crazy... :confused::confused::confused:

Your first post made it sound like your being stalked. The second post makes you sound like a nosey neighbour who's watching for people smoking at your back gate.

Put up a NO SMOKING sign :)

Are you secretly hoping it is the person you are asking about in this thread: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...d-558361.html?

IF you are concerned about safety including but not restricted to this 'mystery' person, look into up-grading your security. Motion detecting lights, making certain that bushes and trees are properly trimmed, the gate has a proper locking mechanism, there are proper locks on doors and windows (and they are used), etc. are just a few things that can help improve your security and peace of mind. Security cameras are becoming cheaper and easier to use.

Only you know what the full story is and how scared or hopeful you are. It comes down to living your life and being comfortable in your home.

No I'm not, that's a completely different thing and is happening to my best friend, but she doesn't have the internet, so I let her use my id on here. No I'm not a nosey neighbour, I don't know where you live, but my back gate leads into my back garden and all we have behind my back garden is a school field and a canal after that, if I was being a nosey neighbour I couldn't do it from my back garden as there isn't an alley way to walk up and my drive is quite long. I wouldn't be hopeful trust me, more worried and scared tbh, I just wasn't sure if I told the police if they would do anything about it without evidence, but obviously they will as I spoke with them today. PS I live in the uk, so our back gardens are enclosed with fences over here, no one can get in unless they climb over or break the lock on the gate that leads into my back garden, they have to walk right up my drive for me to even be able to smell smoke, I can't smell it in the street, when I'm this far back of it.

As in my drives too long for me to be able to smell it and my bedroom is at the back of the house near to the back garden gate, I'm on the first floor and I can smell it from my bedroom window. Ps no one smokes in my household so its not them. Thanks for your answers, will be getting it sorted as soon as the person turns up again.