I live in Ca, my husband wants to adopt my 4 year old son. There is no father on his birth certificare and, I have not seen his bio father since I was 2 mounths pregnant. The bio father does not know he was born. My husband has been around since he was 8 mounths old and wands to adopt. How do we do this?

>moved from Adoption<

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Originally Posted by TheMafiaWife

I live in Ca, my husband wants to adopt my 4 year old son. There is no father on his birth certificare and, I have not seen his bio father since I was 2 mounths prego. The bio father does not know he was born. My husband has been around since he was 8 mounths old and wands to adopt. How do we do this?

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You first need to locate the biological father and establish him as such through a court-ordered DNA test. After doing this, he may have the option to terminate his rights and allow your husband to adopt the child.

Please be aware that once he learns of his son, he may not want to relinquish his parental rights but rather want to establish a relationship with his child. Once he is listed as the legal father, he will have that right and you cannot interfere with it.

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Originally Posted by TheMafiaWife

... My husband has been around since he was 8 mounths old and wands to adopt. How do we do this?

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Your husband needs to get an attorney to handle this for him.

The California Family Code, sections 8500 through 9212, describe how this is done. As you can see, it is complicated.

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Originally Posted by this8384

You first need to locate the biological father and establish him as such through a court-ordered DNA test. ...

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I'm not so sure. This

"8605. A child not having a presumed father under Section 7611 may not be adopted without the consent of the child's mother, if living."

Suggests that the consent of the bio-father may not be required.

Notice probably has to be given, but if it is allowed to be given by publication, chances are that the father will never get the notice. Published notices, in such cases, are usually addressed to "the unknown father of A. B., a minor child", without any further identifying information.

If, of course the OP knows the name, etc. of the father, the court will require that reasonable efforts be made to track him down.

But, this isn't a case where the father is unknown. She does know who the father is and as such, must make an effort to notify him. I do think that we can all agree that the process is much easier with his consent.

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Originally Posted by AK lawyer

I'm not so sure. This

"8605. A child not having a presumed father under Section 7611 may not be adopted without the consent of the child's mother, if living."

suggests that the consent of the bio-father may not be required.

Notice probably has to be given, but if it is allowed to be given by publication, chances are that the father will never get the notice. Published notices, in such cases, are usually addressed to "the unknown father of A. B., a minor child", without any further identifying information.

If, of course the OP knows the name, etc., of the father, the court will require that reasonable efforts be made to track him down.

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From the way it reads the only exception is when there is willfull abandonment of the child by the bio parent. Since in this case as has been mentioned the mother never contacted the father of the child therefore there is no abandonment that can take place that is willfull. So consent of the bio parent is needed to proceed.

Rules of consent must be followed and like has been said if the bio father has not been found then it may be proper to notify by publication.

Dang it! I am trying to do the same thing and I don't want the father located he won't give up rights!

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Originally Posted by melindaray21

Dang it! I am trying to do the same thing and I dont want the father located he wont give up rights!

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Please don't post your own issues on an old thread.
Start a new one instead.

You want your husband to be able to adopt your child, evidently.

This is why it's almost like a conflict of interest.
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The law requires that, before an adoption can occur, you diligently attempt to notify the father. If the mother really wanted to notify him, she would go to great lenghts to do so. But when she really doesn't want him located, she would tend to just go through the motions, with a view to getting the court to approve notice by publication. If such a notice is approved, the chances of the father actually getting notice are very slim. But that's how it's often done.

And frankly--I hope that if you DO try to do it without notifying the father that he comes back and overturns the adoption.

YOU don't get to decide whether he "deserves" to lose his rights. If it were so easy to take away parental rights, people like me could say that you're not a good mother because you'd commit perjury to get your own way, so I want your rights taken away so I can adopt your child.

Wel quite frankly I think you're ing stupid and lack knowledge of such situations. I also want a man to adopt my son but I don't want the biological father involved with the process whatsoever. My sons biological fathers name isn't on the birth certificate and there are plenty of good reasons behind that. Maybe a mother keeps the child from the bio father not for her own selfish reasons but for the child's safety say if the bio father is abusive does drugs and drinks heavily. Does it make her a bad mother to keep her child from such dangerous situations in which case the child's life is threatened in the presence of the bio father? Maybe you should gain knowledge as to why a mother wants the child to be off limits to the bio father instead of making bizarre accusations against someone.

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Originally Posted by Synnen

And frankly--I hope that if you DO try to do it without notifying the father that he comes back and overturns the adoption.

YOU don't get to decide whether or not he "deserves" to lose his rights. If it were so easy to take away parental rights, people like me could say that you're not a good mother because you'd commit perjury to get your own way, so I want your rights taken away so I can adopt your child.

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#11 Report
Today, 12:48 AM

Wel quite frankly I think you're ing stupid and lack knowledge of such situations. I also want a man to adopt my son but I don't want the biological father involved with the process whatsoever. My sons biological fathers name isn't on the birth certificate and there are plenty of good reasons behind that. Maybe a mother keeps the child from the bio father not for her own selfish reasons but for the child's safety say if the bio father is abusive does drugs and drinks heavily. Does it make her a bad mother to keep her child from such dangerous situations in which case the child's life is threatened in the presence of the bio father? Maybe you should gain knowledge as to why a mother wants the child to be off limits to the bio father instead of making bizarre accusations against someone.

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Originally Posted by lizziemarie1234

wel quite frankly i think you're ing stupid and lack knowledge of such situations. i also want a man to adopt my son but i dont want the biological father involved with the process whatsoever. my sons biological fathers name isnt on the birth certificate and there are plenty of good reasons behind that. maybe a mother keeps the child from the bio father not for her own selfish reasons but for the childs safety say if the bio father is abusive does drugs and drinks heavily. does it make her a bad mother to keep her child from such dangerous situations in which case the childs life is threatened in the presence of the bio father? maybe u should gain knowledge as to why a mother wants the child to be off limits to the bio father instead of making bizarre accusations against someone.

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If you can PROVE abuse, and drug use, well... then the court will support your plea for someone else to adopt without the bio father's consent.

BUT--Iif you never actually REPORTED his drug use and abuse to the authorities, you don't have the PROOF that he's a bad guy. Then it's HIS word against YOURS, and therefore he should have as many rights as you do.

And the bottom line is that if he was okay to have sex with, how come he's not okay to be a father?

PS--it's not "f-ing stupid" (your words) to know why the law was written the way it is. If you can prove abuse and that the child will be in danger, then the court will agree with you.

The problem comes in when there's no PROOF. If you never reported it, it didn't happen in the eyes of the law.

And again--that's to keep people like ME from accusing YOU of being a bad mother on drugs with no PROOF so that I can take your kids away from you. Just because I don't want you around them, you know.

With as many people waiting to adopt an infant in this country as there are, don't you think it's better to be safe and protect the rights of all biological parents until there is PROOF that they are a danger to the child?

I believe my sons girlfriend had a baby and adopted it out without his consent. He asked her if pregnant after she moved out & she denied it. Moreover, I asked her multipe times. She not only went from a size 0 to probably a size 8 she stopped school. My cell phone was calling her without me caaaaaaaalling her cell. It was like an angel telling me. Today found out he has no rights until child 18. I am going to sue for the courts to reverse adoption or allow my son to have a relationship with child. Does he have any rights? They were both from California.

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Originally Posted by lizziemarie1234

wel quite frankly i think you're ing stupid and lack knowledge of such situations. i also want a man to adopt my son but i dont want the biological father involved with the process whatsoever. my sons biological fathers name isnt on the birth certificate and there are plenty of good reasons behind that. maybe a mother keeps the child from the bio father not for her own selfish reasons but for the childs safety say if the bio father is abusive does drugs and drinks heavily. does it make her a bad mother to keep her child from such dangerous situations in which case the childs life is threatened in the presence of the bio father? maybe u should gain knowledge as to why a mother wants the child to be off limits to the bio father instead of making bizarre accusations against someone.

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Quite frankly what IS *ing stupid and lacking knowledge is to have sex with people who would be (and are) unsuitable parents. Let's see - the male is abusive, does drugs and drinks heavily... but he's okay to have sex with?

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Originally Posted by justice for son

i believe my sons girlfriend had a baby and adopted it out without his consent. He asked her if pregnant after she moved out & she denied it. Moreover, I asked her multipe times. She not only went from a size 0 to probably a size 8 she stopped school. My cell phone was calling her without me caaaaaaaalling her cell. It was like an angel telling me. Today found out he has no rights until child 18. I am going to sue for the courts to reverse adoption or allow my son to have a relationship with child. Does he have any rights? They were both from California.

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First, this is not your legal battle. It's his. You have no standing. I don't know that angels get involved in these situations, that's for the religious boards, but can you PROVE she had a baby, he's the father, there was an adoption? You start with "you believe" and end up with "reverse adoption." It can't be both ways.

Get an Attorney and pursue this IF you think there was fraud. Of course, it's always possible she was living/sleeping with him and someone else is the father. That's what DNA is all about.