My coworker proclaims to me and my other coworkers that I am out to get her, that I am turning others against her and just two months ago that our company administration is conspiring against her. She has went as far to say that a mistake that I made, that could have been potentially fatal to our recipient, was a way to set her up for trouble , because neither of us didn't catch it during shift change. I am not one to tell my supervisor every little thing, I can handle and allow things to work themselves out. But this last incident went too far. Put your troubles in God's hands I have been told and taught. He will work it out in his time. I am truly troubled by this woman. Each shift change with her is horrible. She mumbles under her breath. I ask if she is talking to me, because I am not sure and only hear certain words. They are snide remarks, but she will not answer me, but yet keep on saying how I will get my own troubles. She is becoming a concern to me. She apparently feels some sort of threat, but I assure you I don't want her to lose her job, up until she called me at home, to argue, on my day off, did I not say anything to my supervisor. I am fed up, I need advise. I know I need to talk to my supervisor, but I am not willing to work things out with her or for her. I have been more than fair. I offered to alter our shift hours 2 weeks ago so that she would not be late for her shift any longer. So she wouldn't get written up, and it got worse. Did she see this as a weakness? She has lost it since then, what is your take on it?

Please fill in a few blanks for me. What kind of business is this? How long has she worked there, and how long have you worked there?

We are direct support professionals, taking care and assisting mentally and physically disabled ladies in their private home, which is managed by the company we work for.. now I was there 2 years in sept she has been there a month longer than me. I began working in the house she worked in over a year ago and I transferred out, and then she transferred to the house I moved to, thing is she did nearly the same thing over there, I let it go and let it go and never said what she was doing or how she acted toward me, and then got a transfer.. I don't want to transfer this time... like I said , I can handle a lot, heck I am a single mother of 3, I can deal with and let go of... but I don't feel I can or even want to this time.. it is very personal and is an attack on who I am and represent

There is one home that contains more than one female client, and you are she are both assigned to them but for different shifts? (Please accept my apology for being so dense, but I want to understand the situation you're in.)

What kind of specific trouble does she cause you on the job?

Yes, we are the only 2 that cover the weekend shift, which is 12 hours, no one else has to work with her. The only thing that ever really bothered me is that she would show up 30 minutes to one hour late for her shift. She never calls, apologizes. Just like it is OK, I fiured it is a culture thing.but we worked it out to when she came in late I would come in late the next shift equal amnt of time she was the night before, no big deal, well then she starts asking me to get there at 8 am and she still shows up late. I signed up for 8 am, that is what I want, but she has yet to make it.. well office procedure requires you call the on call super and let them know of any variations, so when they saw what we were doing, we had to start calling in, She never did, but I did to let them know I am going to be late to cover where she was late and so on, this went on for a month and she was talked to about her tardies, and I offered to change my schedule so that she wouldn't be late and not get any write ups or anything... 2 months prev to this our office administration did an unannounced visit, and she had a few things that needed additional counseling on and she was very upset saying that they are conspiring and then said that I new about the 5 am visist and didn't tell her... I am not "in" with our office personnel, why would they confide in me, my team leader assured her this was not the case, but she has held on to some sort of paranoia and my team leader seems to think she just may be upset because she was not able to get to work on time, she is a single mother and has issues etc,etc... so we catered to her to help... but she is getting nuts, saying I am turning the clients against her, I am out to get her in trouble, the actuall finger pointing and daggers coming from her eyes, tells me she isn't right... I have helped this girl more than anyone here, and I am her target for her pain and whatever else may be going wrong.

She does not affect my job, I love my job and nothing will change that, but she does make it miserable coming and going, just by her glares, smart remarks under her breath, pointing her finger that one instance.. I will not be around her again without a tape recorder. I am tired of defending myself. I am tired of coming home stressed about what she is going to do or say or has already said, I do not want this drama in my life

Have you confronted her about your concerns? Stop being her doormat. If she can't make it on time, let her get written up.

She's taking advantage of you plain and simple. Let her know that you have a life as well, you can't wait around for her to show up if and when she darn feels like it. If she's late, it will get reported.

I agree and to help her out I agreed if she kept to 9pm and no later I wll try the time change with her, so we have actually done that the last 2 weekends, which have been the worst... I want to take back my 8 am shift and not do it anymore for her, I don't like being there that late and with the way she is acting she should expect me to take it back... I don't know if they will let me, I thought about doing that at first because I don't like being there so late and now due to the way she is behaving. Should I file a formal issue of concern due to hostile work environment or something? I am not going to be her door mat, I am kind and don't mind helping out but dang

Is there a way for both of you to pow-wow with the supervisor, and work out a schedule that's good for both of you? (although I'm guessing NO schedule will be good enough for this woman) The 8 to 8 schedule is pretty standard, isn't it?

You don't need the drama, and your super doesn't need the aggravation. And the really important people in all of this are the clients who don't need to be subjected to either one.

It all actually came to a head on Friday and I am finished, I have made up my mind I don't want to talk to her or be around her. My super is aware of some tension, but she is a little to passive and I don't feel she will "handle it" I don't want to leave my assigned home but I am leaving the choice up to admin, I just got finished typing up my formal issues of concern ( I hope I didn't go into too much detail, tried to hit on the "hiighlights" haha) I have taken enough and you are right, they have not been subjected to this, thank goodness she has enough sense to address this without them around or close by.. they are wonderful ladies, been taking care of them 2 years now, thank you for your input

The schedule did change to 830a to 830p on my acceptance of it, and regarding my issue of concern, my super thinks it is a joke, she never addressed it with me or her and told other staff it is a joke. The situation is very depressing. Another staff is putting in applications to other jobs where she is so tired of the complaints, the unfair/biased treatment, the inconsideration and disrespect. I want to leave, but not the company I work for, I have put in for a transfer, no news yet. Wish me luck. If you have any suggestions I certainly will welcome them

Always do your very best. Don't allow these problems to color how you work. Do your best for your company and for your clients. You'll feel good about yourself, and someday it may pay off for you. Even if it doesn't, you'll be able to sleep well at night with no regrets about your behavior.

I do wish you well Be sure to report back.

I do my best, I have lots of energy, and I use it. My work reflects who I am. And I have high regard for myself and pride in what I do. Yea, I don't feed off into their behaviour (usually) but it began to feel personal, and I took it that way. That is why I think I am in the position I am in. Because I didn't say or do anything. Now, that I have let them know I will not accept it, I have stirred it up. Of course the ones that initiated it are not at fault, only the one that finally reacted,( in a professional manner. I believed). Of course, I am seen now as a non=team player. That is all right though, I choose ot to play along. I will do my job and do my best and ensure the ladies days, that I am there, are fulfilled. I feel as if I have to defend myself, and I shouldn't. Thank and I will

I think you should stop covering for her but don't be nasty about it. If she's ten minutes late, call your supervisor and say, "Mary has not arrived and I'm concerned about whether she's ok - have you heard anything from her?" Then tell the supervisor, "I'm suposed to be somewhere but let me make a call and I'll arrange to stay a little later". This way, they see first hand that the other lady is late and putting you in an unfair position, and you are looking out for the best interests of your patients and your employer by pitching in with extra time. Make sure you are paid for the extra time you work, and stop trading for the time with the other person.

I would ignore the nasty comments and let the other woman crash and burn on her own merits - being late for work, particularly when one has to relieve another person on a shift - is often enough reason for a person to be fired.

Just let her know, "I wanted to let you know that I really need you to be on time from now on - I have some other commitments so can't be as flexible with the schedule as I have been in the past".

The other side of this is you can't expect her to cover your screw ups any more - you need to be responsible and careful, not make "near fatal" mistakes, and if you do, you must report them yourself to your supervisor and explain what you are doing differently to prevent such potential disasters in the future. That way, this other lady won't have anything to hold over you.

Thanks for your input, I have done a few things you have mentioned above, she has been doing better at getting there at the adjusted time (I don't think I like the change I agreed to from 8a to 8p to 830a to 830p.) I am surprised they haven't fired her either. I will use your advise however and not change out time, (actually did that last week), yea, I get paid for it but going on 13 hours I am ready to go and get ready for sleep and the next 12 to 13hrs. I don't know how or why she has gotten away with it for so long, they knew, I called as they advised me to, but nothing, until the shift hour change. I agreed with the stipulation she is not later than that or I want to change back to the original time(she was late last week). I am hardly if ever late, that is not onew of my concerns (anything can happen tho). Thanks again