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-   -   My husband won't give me oral sex (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=556261)

  • Feb 20, 2011, 06:46 PM
    gtdevil
    My husband won't give me oral sex
    He doesn't seem to like it althou he will let me do it to him. He also finds it hard to ejaculate without masturbation. He takes a lot of medications for depression and a general anxiety order and finds it hard to get 'horny' he also says he wants to do these things but gets too anxious about it and has a fear of them what should I do ?
  • Feb 20, 2011, 06:51 PM
    J_9

    How old are the two of you?
  • Feb 20, 2011, 07:47 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    Since they said husband I will direct it,
    Not all men like to give oral to women, as many women do not like to do oral to men. So they don't, you should not expect your partner to do something they don't want to do.

    But several things, first if he masterbates too much, it can hurt his performance since he gets too use to a certain feel.
    But depression and various medication can cause all sorts of sexual issues. Has he discussed these with his doctor
  • Feb 21, 2011, 12:33 AM
    gtdevil
    We are both 30.
  • Feb 21, 2011, 01:43 AM
    martinizing2

    Have you considered counselling?

    These could be problems that need to be addressed
    In a face to face basis by a professional.

    And with your husband already being medicated for stress
    And anxiety , which can affect your libido , and says he fears these things ,
    I think you would best be served by a professional .
    And the sooner the better, this is not going to improve on
    Its own and will more than likely get worse.

    I strongly suggest you find professional counselling.
  • Feb 21, 2011, 06:20 AM
    smoothy

    I'm with everyone else in his medications can very well be the root cause of his performance issues.

    As far as his performing oral on you, Landscaping the jungle might go a long way to helping... not a lot of people like licking a shag carpet. Bare skin is a more pleasurable sensation to ones tongue than a nappy tangle of hair... and make sure you are clean and fresh... as you well know when your nose is right there, you notice it a lot more. Now to be fair... there are a few people that prefer the untamed jungle... and natural gaminess. But most don't. It boils down to personal preferences.


    Or he might be one of those people that just doesn't like to do it for whatever reason.
  • Feb 22, 2011, 06:05 AM
    mango99
    Have you spoken to him about this? Take the time to express to him how you feel, why you feel it and what you'd like to do about this feeling.

    Then ask him why he doesn't do it? Be understanding - perhaps you might understand his own concerns above your own.
  • Feb 22, 2011, 07:53 AM
    JudyKayTee

    Is there a religious concern?
  • Feb 22, 2011, 09:33 AM
    J_9

    Did he used to give you oral and suddenly stopped? Or has this been an ongoing problem in your marriage?
  • Apr 18, 2011, 04:29 AM
    star2011
    I know oral is more pleasurable than actual intercourse.I give oral to my wife by licking her private parts and give her nice orgasm.but she don't like to give me blowjob but she gives me nice handjob.so that's fine.she gives me sexual pleasure by another way.so its OK.you have to compromise yourself for your life partner.give him time to relax and consult doctor as well as counselor

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