My husband is abused by his mother so much that he thinks this is normal. She is verbally abusive and on top of that its actually actions behind her mean and hateful words. How do I help him to understand this is not normal and it's not how a mother treats a child they love? I think he is in denial. He says I don't understand their relationship, but I have grown to hate her because of her actions and I feel bad because I feel like I should stand up for him.

You can't make anybody do or think anything they don't WANT to do or think.

How does this affect your relationship with him?

Sometimes, as the wife, you have to simply step back in family matters.

My ex husband was the same way. Sadly I was unable to repaire anything. Best advice I can give you is get you and him to a marriage counceller. And if its possible try to limit mom in laws involvement

Do you have kids, is it effecting the way he raises his children.

Plus men are really bad about telling people, even wives what they really feel. He may have feelings about this he is not admitting