Ask Me Help Desk - Was my professor being fair?

I dropped out of school five or so years ago because my boyfriend at the time threatened to kill me, and I couldn't handle working full time, going to school, and dealing with the trauma of what happened. Also, one of my professors at college touched me inappropriately, and so I couldn't handle being there. I couldn't handle reporting it and causing a huge fuss too, because I thought it was my fault.

So fast forward five or six years, after one failed attempt to go back to school due to a boyfriend coercing me, and I enroll in just one class to see how I do. The first class turns out to be too early in the morning, (I work late, seven days a week) and I miss the first class, so I drop it and switch to another one. That one was too early too... so I drop it and switch to a different one. So I was entering the new class on the 3rd meeting.

I got lost in the parking lot and was 20 minutes late for class... afterwards, I went up to speak to my professor to see what I missed and introduce myself, and he was really defensive, and said he couldn't let me in the class. I said I had to switch because of work. He just assumed I was lazy and said to me "well you're going to have to work for this class." and I said "i was planning on doing that anyway." I don't know why he assumed that I was a bad student without even getting to know me? I felt like I was doomed from the beginning, felt stupid every time I said something, and dreaded being there since then. Was he being fair to me?

He's being fair... most students make an effort to be there on time if not early. And people showing up late disrupt the teachers lecture and everyone else that's there.

And honestly... your personal problems are your own... and your own to deal with. No other student or the professor has the time to deal with them, nor wants to. If you can't do what's required to be there on time... then drop the class. You conform to the schedule of the school... the school doesn't conform to you. It's a valuable lesson because it is equally true when you get a job. And it's a lesson you have to follow the rest of your life.

So any student that shows up late... in the middle of a lecture... will be viewed as a bad student. Besides paying for the class... its your obligation to be there on time... and do the coursework in a timely fashion.

After all... if you was on time... and pay a large amount of money for a class... wouldn't YOU be upset if people walked in disturbing the lesson?

Incidentally... I am a college graduate. And I have seen people do this before... and know how it disrupts the class.

Sorry if that comes across as blunt... but that's the reality of the world. Everyone has their issues to deal with, and everyone has to learn to do what required, when its required of them. And its critical for success in life to learn.

I just find that mentality to be so insensitive. I am also a teacher by profession, and I don't feel that my class is disrupted if someone is late. I welcome them, and understand that they are human beings, not productivity machines, and that my goal is to teach them. Our society demands certain things of us, but that doesn't mean it's the only way to live, or that it's even best for us. There is a growing body of scientific evidence showing that the stress of living in societies structured in hierarchies, such as ours, is physically and biologically detrimental to our health, contributing to plaque in arteries, and decreased memory and brain function, among other problems.

Also, saying that nobody cares about my problems or issues is actually a false statement, and an unfair generalization, because I have met and know many people who do care, have sympathy and express understanding. What's more, these problems are not the issue at hand in my question, and my professor wasn't even aware of them, because I didn't find it necessary to tell him about them.

I did make an effort, the campus just changed a lot after five years, and I got lost parking my car. I have to maintain that I find your mentality inflexible and uncaring, and in my life I will stand by what I believe in and not subscribe to these notions in our culture that I feel don't take into account our nature as human beings.

Also why are you assuming that I was a bad student forever more after that? I got a B+ in the class. I also have a job and career that I'm very successful at. So, why was it OK for my professor to judge me before he knew me? That is my real question.

Quote:

Originally Posted by petitverseau

why was it ok for my professor to judge me before he knew me? That is my real question.

You gave him that right. You showed up in his class as a new student three weeks into the term and late on top of it.

I've attended classes at four different colleges. A new student does a dry run sometime before the first class -- memorizes the student handbook, checks out the parking lots, visits the student union and the library, walks the halls where classes will be to make sure he/she knows where to go when the time comes, and gets very comfortable with the campus. Even if only five years had passed since my last visit to the school, I would take the time to do a walk-through. If you're a teacher, you know that you never do an activity with the students unless you've done it yourself privately beforehand (a walk-through). The possibility of failure/disappointment is too high.

I also knew myself -- wouldn't sign up for an early class if I knew I would have trouble getting to it because of weather, distance to have to travel, parking problems (e.g. full lot), or a late work schedule.

If every student took their sweet time getting to class, legit delay or not and the professor "allowed" them to be late, there would be no consistency. I found that, if I started teaching on time, the students showed up on time. When I waited for everyone to finally show up, class would start as much as twenty minutes late -- and that would worsen at time went on. Or, if latecomers dragged in after I had started teaching, the class was constantly disrupted, so I had to put a stop to that asap, even if someone got embarrassed (but then was never late again).

Quote:

Originally Posted by petitverseau

i just find that mentality to be so insensitive. I am also a teacher by profession, and I don't feel that my class is disrupted if someone is late. I welcome them, and understand that they are human beings, not productivity machines, and that my goal is to teach them. Our society demands certain things of us, but that doesn't mean it's the only way to live, or that it's even best for us. There is a growing body of scientific evidence showing that the stress of living in societies structured in hierarchies, such as ours, is physically and biologically detrimental to our health, contributing to plaque in arteries, and decreased memory and brain function, among other problems.

Also, saying that nobody cares about my problems or issues is actually a false statement, and an unfair generalization, because I have met and know many people who do care, have sympathy and express understanding. What's more, these problems are not the issue at hand in my question, and my professor wasn't even aware of them, because I didn't find it necessary to tell him about them.

I did make an effort, the campus just changed a lot after five years, and I got lost parking my car. I have to maintain that I find your mentality inflexible and uncaring, and in my life I will stand by what I believe in and not subscribe to these notions in our culture that I feel don't take into account our nature as human beings.

Also why are you assuming that I was a bad student forever more after that? I got a B+ in the class. I also have a job and career that I'm very successful at. So, why was it ok for my professor to judge me before he knew me? That is my real question.

For being a teacher... you don't follow directions very well.

For example... the rules of this site PROHIBIT not helpfuls for OPINIONS... I callenge you to read them...

My answer was factual... too bad you think the world revolves around your needs... because it doesn't. And you act EXACTLY like you think it does. Read your own words, YOU proved that case.

Stopping a lecture for anyone who can't show up on time is insensitive to the entire class and the professor both.

I know people like that... I attended college... I saw people that thought like you and it DID interfere with the class that I paid good money to attend.

I also saw professors lock the door so anyone that was late wouldn't disturb everyone else, because like everyone else... they were tired of it. It is a college class after all and not group therapy. You personal issues only have a place in group therapy... or with your therapist.. one on one... not the college classroom.

You know... you really don't have the mindset you need to attend college classes. Because most people learn popping in late isn't acceptable before they get to high school, usually that's before the 6th grade in fact.

Incidentally... I'm reporting you to the site administrator for your disrespectful argumentative responses and your inappropriate not helpful.

Your Profgessor doesn't give a damn about your personal problems... leave them at the door or discuss them with your Doctor or Phycologist. THey are not appropriate to the college Classroom. And the OTHER students that are paying good money to attend that class certainly don't want to hear them either. Because YOU aren't the only person trying to learn... and they did make the effort to be there on time.

I really doubt you are the teacher you claim to be... because everything you have said violates the rules of every school I know of and have ever attended.

First I will remind our experts that we need to keep the higher ground and not be attacking to the OP or to each other.

Re-read the post of the OP, every time she tries to go back there is something that "is not her fault" class is to early, I guess she did not know what time it started when she signed up for it . Next got lost, before that, two different boyfriend issues.

It is obvious that going back to school is not tha real important to you, and you blame others for your own problems. It is time to take responsibility for your own actions.

So it is early, you get up, set your alarm clock and get up, Many of us only get 5 to 6 hours sleep every night, and less some nights, we do it because of our duties. You go the weekend before or a few days before and find out where you are going if you don't know.

And you don't let family drama stop your education, it is a matter of you showing fairly obvious that these classes are not really important to you yet.

Comments on this post
petitverseau does not find this helpful : I don't agree

First, may I call your attention to the guidelines for using the comments feature found here:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/feedba...ure-24951.html

Personally, I find it insensitive when people just barge into a new situation without making an attempt to get the lay of the land and learn the rules.

Quote:

Originally Posted by petitverseau

I am also a teacher by profession, and I don't feel that my class is disrupted if someone is late.

So, why was it ok for my professor to judge me before he knew me? That is my real question.

Are you really a teacher? I though you dropped out of college. Teaching generally requires some level of college degree. And you would be a rare teacher to not be bothered by a student coming in late.

You came across here as a disorganized, irresponsible person. You kept switching classes because you couldn't organize your life. You weren't just late to this professor's class you missed the first two sessions. I don't blame him for judging you based on that. But he didn't totally judge you as a bad student. He was simply warning you. If he was fully judging you he would have kicked you out of the class.

Finally what was meant about not caring was that your personal issues had nothing to do with your question. The professor did not know or care about your personal problems. He made a judgment based on the fact that you missed 2 sessions and were late when you finally made it to class. Again, based on those facts I think his reaction totally justified.

Quote:

Originally Posted by petitverseau

I don't feel that my class is disrupted if someone is late.

As a recent grad, I can tell you that it disrupts the students if someone is late.