My son has always lived w/ my husband and I. I did allow to let him have visitation w/ our son since birth.. usually wknds... I was told just recently that if his father takes my son and does not bring him back there is nothing legally I can do w/o custody papers, So my ? Is can he do this even though there is no proof of paternity, and his name is not on birth certificate... my son does not even have his last name he has my maiden name... Please can some one help me I am concerned about my sons well being and I need to know if this is possible!

Your question is somewhat confusing. I am guessing that the father of the child is NOT your husband.

I would not allow the father to take your son without some type of Court order. You don't know what the Police will or won't do if the child is not returned. At best it would be upsetting for a few hours. At worst it would be upsetting until you could get into Court to get visitation established.

Does he pay support?

I would go to Court and get paternity established, file for support, get visitation established.

I realize you aren't having problems and going to Court could cause problems but it's a small price to pay for the safety of your child.

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Your question is somewhat confusing. I am guessing that the father of the child is NOT your husband.

I would not allow the father to take your son without some type of Court order. You don't know what the Police will or won't do if the child is not returned. At best it would be upsetting for a few hours. At worst it would be upsetting until you could get into Court to get visitation established.

Does he pay support?

I would go to Court and get paternity established, file for support, get visitation established.

I realize you aren't having problems and going to Court could cause problems but it's a small price to pay for the safety of your child.

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My son was born a year before I met my Husband. We moved in together the Nov after his first birthday. And yes he ( his father ) was paying support, he was behind on payments and started to tell my son he was going to jail because of me. And we had a incident manipulated by his father the night before the hearing... this has not been the first time But now he is involving my son.. whom is only 11... I felt as though to protect my son I needed to drop the order, He did not pay for health coverage , He is covered through my husband .Or anything out side of his 75.oo a week... Not even so much as a stitch of cloths even at his house. (NOTHING ) and he does not keep a job, in fact he has not had a job in 2 years... He is constantly making my son feel guilty talking to him about things a 11 year old should not have to worry about... and now my son is lashing out at my husband and I. the police were involved in this incident and this is how I was told that even though my husband is financially taking care of my son and has been his caretaker along w/ me we have no rights to force this man to give my son back because he is the Father... I have gone to file for sol custody and have a hearing scheduled in march... I am going to have A hard time paying for a lawyer.. we are already struggling with hour cuts on both of our jobs, but have an appointment w/ a lawyer on wed of next week... So yes I have had many problems w/this man especially where money is concerned but to me his money is not important if he going to manipulate and hurt my son... not physically ,mentally I just want the custody and the right to decide what is best for him.. . Thank you for the answer it was much Appreciated

I really hope things work out for you. Your husband sounds like a great guy!

I would tell the Attorney that you are having financial problems. Sometimes an Attorney will work for a smaller fee - or even no fee.

Now that I've read this I DEFINITELY wouldn't let the father take the son anywhere without a Court Order.

I think I understand it, but it was a bit confusing because of the over-use of the masculine 3rd person pronouns (he, him, his). They could refer to the son, the son's biological father, or the OP's husband. But I think I was able to deduce what she means.

So, yes, without a custody order, either parent has the theoretical right to take custody of a child. Only thing I'm still wondering: evidently there was some sort of a court order in place but OP "dropped" it?

Not much more to cover, because JudyKayTee covered just about all the bases.

I do have a couple of points to add. If your husband's health insurance carrier finds out he is not the legal father, they can and probably will deny any claim. They may even ask for reimbursement of past claims. Your son is not your husband's family members and claiming him as such is fraud.

Second it is not clear whether the father has been ordered to pay support or not. It is not clear whether the father was ever determined to be the legal parent. It is not clear what, if any, court actions have taken place.

If the father does not return your son, the police may nor may not help you retrieve him. If the father goes to court immediately after his son comes to visit and can show the police there is pending litigation involving custody, they will probably not force the father to release his son.

So you NEED to go to court now and you need to establish your custody. It would be a good idea to try and have your husband adopt the child. This way he can legally cover him on his insurance. But if the father objects to the adoption its unlikely to happen.