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-   -   How to move on (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=55514)

  • Jan 17, 2007, 08:57 PM
    Rogue1190
    How to move on
    I figured I would ask this better early then late. My girlfriend of about a little more than a year just broke up with me an hour ago. We had been having problems, were going to stay together, than broke up. Our whole relationship there has been one thing haunting us, which has been my past. I wasn't completely honest with her about a girl before her I had had 2 sexual experiences with. It took her a long time to find out the complete story. I was just too prideful to tell her everything so she ended up learning in little pieces.

    So yeah, this whole relationship was basically my own failing. My past experience was the one that haunted her, caused her to be jealous, caused her to be dissapointed(she had never done stuff like that with a guy before, wanted me to be the same way), caused me to be ashamed. I'm going to try pursuing her because a loving relationship like ours probabaly happens like twice in somebodys life, maybe 3 times. Sometimes just once. My point of view is we can't let the past ruin something great we have now. I love her so deeply. And if I don't get her back, this thing would probabaly hang over my head for a long time.

    How does one get over deep emotional pain like this? How can you move on, and learn to trust people and women again? Although I think part of me just wanted to tell our story.
  • Jan 20, 2007, 12:34 AM
    Jogan2090
    This is what I know from my own personal experience, and I can guarantee you that the first break-ups are the hardest thing anyone could go through.

    How can you move on? If this break up has affected you deeply, it might be hurtful enough that all you can do is just bury it inside yourself. If you're not sure - here's a couple of things you need to know:

    There are six step by step progress - (after break up)

    Stage 1 - The Denial Stage

    This is the stage where you're in denial, despite the fact it happened. You want to ignore your situation for as long as you can until you have to come to terms with reality.

    Stage 2 - The Remenicising Stage

    This is the stage where you start looking back to your relationship, the good and the bad and at this stage - prepare to shed some tears.

    Stage 3 - The Depressed Stage

    I guess the 'depressed' part just about sums it up.

    Stage 4 - The Anger Stage

    This is the anger stage, where you'll feel mad about your g/f - for what happened and most likely to blame it on her for everything you just went through.

    Stage 5 - The Aftermath

    This is the point where you're slowly starting to realize that there are more girls out in the world, which also means more opportunities to go for new adventurous relationship with someone.

    Stage 6 - Freedom

    This is it, you've finally reached the point where you're ready to hit the bars and club - you're ready to take risk with someone new, and you'll be like "(Ex's name), who's that?" -

    How a person progresses through these stages depends on the person and the time it takes to get through each step. Usually, they can last up to a year on average. But, in my case - it took me only up to 9 to 10 months before I got over a girl.

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