Hi

My daughter who is Hindu is engaged to a Pentecostal young man and they are in the process of planning the wedding. However this person comes from a broken home and has never grown up in a family atmosphere. He was baptized by his mother at her church without his father's permission (his father is also Hindu), and has been used for target practice against his father all his life. All that aside, his mother has issued an ultimatum to him that if he married my daughter adopting any Hindu rites, we suggested a mixed ceremony, she would disown him. He has said that he would not go against his mother and that he never intended to marry under Hindu rites although he has known my daughter for 4 years and is fully aware of her faith. His mother has changed her faith three times. She was born a Hindu, changed to presbyterian, married under Hindu rites and changed again to pentecostal. I think she is using this faith to break up this couple as I feel that her objection is not to the marriage but to my daughter whom she thinks is a threat. Her son is her only child and my daughter is my only daughter. I also have a son. The young man has been very rude to my family suggesting that since my daughter loves him we have no further say in her life. Help me handle this

It really is up to your daughter and her fiancé. Is it possible she doesn't feel as strongly about her faith as you thought? What sort of ceremony does your daughter want?

Im sorry but unfortuantely your daughter is apparently marrying a mama's boy. Perhaps your daughters fiancé and his Mother need to read Corinthians 13:4-7 and Ephesians 5:25-33!!

I have no problem with them sitting down as a couple and deciding on which religion they will chose to follow as a couple or there are plenty of couples of different religions who choose to go to each of their own places of worship on their own and respect each others choice!! They also raise their children in both religions and when the children are of age it will be their choice of which religion they choose to follow.

However your daughter should make sure she will be the other equation to this partnership making those choices and NOT her furture MOTHER-IN-LAW.

Take care

Its not the different religions that's the problem, it's the character of the people around them that will be a real problem.

She has known this fellow for 4 years, so its her choice what she does, and everybody needs to back off, and let them make their own decisions. While I understand the concerns, from both sides, its still her decision to make. From the time our babies can walk we worry that they will fall flat on their faces.

A good parent always has love, and support, and plenty of band aids handy, when they do.

If the man is really Pentecostal, ( and he really believes his faith and really practices it) I have trouble seeing him dating and wanting to marry someone who is not at least a christian, People who are Pentecostal often have trouble with people of some other christian faiths because of their specific practice and beliefs.

But no Pentecostal would allow any HINDU elements into their service, into their marriage vows and even allowed into their homes.

This is jut doomed from the beginning unless something changes

It sounds like you love your daughter and support her decisions, but that you have some very valid concerns.

Have you talked to your daughter about what her expectations are for the wedding and marriage? Has she been around when he has been 'rude' to your family? Does she want to talk to you about her life and plans?

Love often causes us to allow ourselves to believe that everything is okay and will work out even as the walls crumble around us. There are some lessons we have to learn on our own.

Whatever happens, do your best to let your daughter know that you are there for her. That there is no shame or blame should she need the support of her family.

Definitely they can marry.

NO, a thousand times NO. Why? Because the Bible totally forbids it. It says, "Do NOT be unequally yoked with unbelievers." That is a written to Christians and is a command of God to Christians. Therefore, both need to be Christians and they also need to be Pentecostals. It's very important to have the same beliefs within Christianity. This is paramount because if both don't agree on their beliefs without Christianity, they are not fully yoked together. I am a Christian Minister and I can tell you that I do not know of one Pentecostal Pastor that would marry this couple. It's not to discredit the Hindu. Everyone has the right to choose their faith. But if the Hindu chooses to remain Hindu, he must not marry a Pentecostal. That is top priority with God. Also, the other matters you mention don't sound healthy either. The woman should respect her husband's wishes. God has set him as the spiritual covering for the family. The woman is to be in subjection to her husband spiritually and respect his wishes on important matters because that is God's order of delegated authority in the home. They can't both be in charge. That creates conflict. They are to submit to each other but when push comes to shove, God expects the woman to respect her husband. In so doing, God will resolve any conflicts between them. Those are my thoughts.