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I recently got a new job and one of my co-workers does not like me. I don't even know this women and have done nothing to make her not like me. I have tried to extend the olive branch on several occasions but she continues to make it a tense and uncomfortable work environment. She is nice to everyone else except me. I really want to know how to handle this situation. I am continually praying for her as I know I am supposed to but it's sometimes hard just being around her.
God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me.
Hi Chill,Quote:
Originally Posted by chill2571
Some people take a dislike to other people for no apparent reason. It can be anything from the way you look, the fact you have taken a job she was hoping someone else would get to the simple fact that she has a irreconcilable personality. She probably pretends to get on with co-workers for your benefit.
This is her problem not yours. If she wants to bring her personal baggage to work then this is her problem, not yours. A true professional tries to leave this baggage behind in the work place. In a demanding work place we need to try and deal with what is in front of us.
Going on what you have said, the more you try to reconcile the more she will dislike you. You are in a no win situation. Always keep in mind this is her problem not yours.
As I am old I am worldly. This doesn't mean that I am always right.
Tut
Good quote but it's not from the bible though.Quote:
Originally Posted by FoxCash
Chill,
That's a tough one! Not everyone is going to like you and it is hard to understand. There isn't much you can do about it. I'd still pray for favor with her but try not to let it bother you. The bible says to pray for your enemies and to do good to those that dislike you.
I have been a Christian for a long time and I have the opposite problem. I cannot stand someone in my life. I mean this woman makes my skin crawl. But I am still kind to her. She claims to be a Christian and I look at it this way.. if we are the body of Christ someone has to be the nose and someone has to be the armpit. Guess which one I think she is in this scenario? LOL I'm off topic.
My advice is to continue to be nice to her and pray. :)
Chuck Swindoll used to quote a little ditty that I absolutely love:
"To live above, with those we love, oh, that will be glory.
To live below, with those we know, now that's another story."
Don't try too hard to reach out, just be civil. Don't return evil for evil, but as far as the job goes, watch your back. Cultivate good relations with people that she might think about going to behind your back and talking against you to. If those people already know you, they'll be less likely to believe any tales she tells about you. Don't say bad things about her, but take steps to be sure she can't undercut you, either. That's as much as I can tell you.
Chill - as long as you can tolerate this woman, it's probably well to just avoid her on a personal level and keep things business-like. If you care to have a personal relationship with others, gravitate towards those you make a connection with.
However, I am also of the mindset that if things continue and whatever grievance she has with you becomes outrageous and flagrant, it is more than appropriate to confront her. I’ve seen people before (particularly with women) who have been so harassed and frustrated by their bosses that they would leave the company before confronting their boss about the matter. I think that is avoidance and cowardice.
Christians are called to be at peace with others. “If it is possible, as much as it depends upon you, be at peace with all people.” We won’t be able to be at peace with everyone, though, because being at peace requires two parties; that is why Paul says “…as much as it depends upon you.” We are to be humble and at times we may be called to submit to harsh treatment by others (although I’m not certain it is obvious when that is appropriate or not). But we are also supposed to be bold and courageous, not little sniveling wimps. I hate to see Christians be mistreated because they think they are supposed to be doormats to others.
There have been times where simply approaching a person directly has totally changed the dynamic of an interaction I've had with people. You could open with something like: "hey, it's my desire to have a good working relationship with others but I feel that somehow I may have offended you. Is everything ok?" You're confronting only to the level of perception and you are extending her the invitation to put your mind at ease or realize that the vibe she is giving you is one that you are picking up on. She may be surprised that you confronted her that way and respect you more for it or she may temporarily suspend her hostility and be cool towards you going forward. No matter, at least you were up front with her and honest.
I have women friends (and my sister) who have experienced harsh treatment by women in their offices. There are common characteristics that I’ve seen among the women my friends described: middle-aged, bitter, controlling, and dominant. These women love to dominate timid, meek, and much younger women. My friends responded to their treatment in a couple of ways: they stood their ground or they developed ulcers and eventually left their jobs because the fear of confronting their boss was greater than the pain of quitting their jobs without another job lined up…and in this economy, that’s very difficult.
In summary, ignore her and keep your distance. You can coexist with others that don’t like you for whatever reason. But if things get progressively worse, confront the hostility directly by talking with her. If she doesn’t relent, talk to your boss about her behavior. If that doesn’t solve the issue, report her to HR. You are entitled to a safe working environment without fear of reprisal. Be gentle but be brave at the same time…the two can coexist.
Have you specificly asked her what her problem is ?
But in general you do your job and just ignore her except when you have to do work with her.
Is it your Christian beliefs she is having issues with ?
Hello just want to say that God does not make mistakes with his children, nor that one lost sheep, you are the bigger person since you are saved however Jesus concern is for the lost more than those saved. Your situation is for your own spiritual growth, and for the salvation of your co- worker. God is searching for lost souls, and it is our job to deliver the message. Love your enemy, for JESUS CHRIST Loves , and died for the person who dislikes you. Your Love for Christ is reflected by the Love you give your enemy. God bless..
Romans 12:20 say " But, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by doing this you will heap fiery coals upon his head." In choosing the words recorded in this verse, the Apostle Paul doubtless had in mind what we read at Proverbs 25:21, 22: “If the one hating you is hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. For coals are what you are raking together upon his head, and Jehovah himself will reward you.” In view of his counsel found in Romans chapter 12, Paul could hardly have meant that the illustrative coals were to inflict punishment or shame upon an opposer. Rather, the proverb—as well as Paul’s similar words—seems to refer to an ancient method used for smelting metal ores. The 19th-century English scholar Charles Bridges noted: “Surround the intractable metal beneath and above; not only putting it over the fire, but heaping coals of fire upon it. Few hearts are so obdurate, as not to melt under the mighty energy of patient, self-denying, burning love.”
Like “fiery coals,” acts of kindness can warm the hearts of opposers and perhaps melt down their hostility. Kind actions can win people. The apostle Peter wrote: “Maintain your conduct fine among the nations, that, in the thing in which they are speaking against you as evildoers, they may as a result of your fine works of which they are eyewitnesses glorify God in the day for his inspection.”—1 Pet. 2:12.
Hope that helps :)
Hi I know how you feel. I'am going thought the same thing all I can say is God see it all that's what I tell myself and by us being Christians the devli comes through them to us but he is a lier. I contue to pray and call there name and ask God to forgive there hearts. I Hear something today at church service Pastor Galliam stated when the devil come at us state THE LORD IS MY SHAPPARD iI SHOULD NOT WANT and all I could say was WOW, so for me toworrow I will going in with a praise song on my heartand stst that statedment when my manager gets out of line with me God Bless keep your heard to the ski GOD LOVE US and they see in in us that why they think notice I said think they can say and do want they want. GOD SAID TOUCH NOT MY ANOITED DO MY SERVIENT NO HARM
My Dear Chill:
People usually get what they deserve. Ignore, pray and wait - these are the values that I also cling to. In God's perfect time - I usually witness their own downfall and even death. God's justice is always the sweetest, you don't have to say or do anything - stay closer to God, pay attention to His conditions, never cease from praying.
I'll join the journey with you Chill!
Regards,
Elli
YIKES! The Lord Jesus is a loving, merciful God. He is Grace personified. He isn't willing that any should perish... EVEN the mean ones.Quote:
Originally Posted by bobetski
Well God did smite hundreds of thousands of people in the Bible.
NK,Quote:
Originally Posted by NeedKarma
God delt with man under the Law in the OT. When the law was given to the Israelites at the foot of the mountain at the very first pentacost 3,000 people died... after Jesus rose from the dead on pentacost 3,000 people were saved. The Law demands, Grace gives. God was dealing with mankind under the Law and yet he still tempered it plenty with mercy. Yes, God did allow people to be killed. I'm not sure what your point is though, you don't even believe in God. So is your comment a fact you now believe and agree with... or just argumentative?
Umm, Ananias and Sapphira?? Herod (Acts 12)?? God didn't "allow" these people to be killed, He took them out on no uncertain terms. It's not as simple as you think it is.Quote:
Originally Posted by classyT
Dave,
We have discussed Ananias and Sapphira before. And I completely agree that GOD took plenty of people down. I just resent someone who doesn't respect or even believe the Bible to be truth... let alone believe in God throwing it out there. It isn't a simple as you think... as ANYONE thinks... including NK.
And I do NOT believe that God is in the business of killing people off.. he is however a sovereign God. But I certainly wouldn't want to be running around saying so and so died because he was mean and God took him down. Anymore than I would want to judge someone's heart or salvation. Just saying My bible STILL says that God is not willing that any should perish and it is the GOODNESS of God that leads man to repentance.
Jesus said it best... "But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you"Quote:
Originally Posted by chill2571
St. Matthew 5:44
Mysticman,
Don't get your hopes up... but I agree with you. ;)
Oh yes, it's extremely difficult. I've had lots of experience with this. It's taken me years to love people who are my "enemies". Once we stop objectifying people as our "enemies" and realize they are probably suffering in other ways, we can find empathy in our hearts. Buddhism taught me that :)Quote:
Originally Posted by classyT
Peace...
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