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-   -   Torn between two guys! Looking for opinions and advice please. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=554633)

  • Feb 15, 2011, 11:42 AM
    miss86
    Torn between two guys! Looking for opinions and advice please.
    I am 23, have been dating my current boyfriend for 5 months now.. its long distance so out of the 5mo we've probably been together for 2mo (due to my work and his training). He has a 2 yr old daughter and has been married, his life is very scheduled and the passion of a sex life is rare on his part. He will kiss me hi,bye and goodnight.. never a passionate kiss throughout the day, never compliments me in person only over text "good morning beautiful" ex. He does not like the bar scene and when he did comprise with me once to go out for a drink he stood there with this miserable look on his face. He hardly laughs with me and half the time it seems like what I have to say is boring or annoying.
    I met guy 2 about two months ago, he lives in the same town, has a great job with the same circumstances of being away as mine. With him its non stop laughing and talking, when he kisses me I can just feel the passion, he looks at me and always compliments me. He does not have kids not to say it's a huge deal for me but I've always wanted to be the "first" and expirence it and learn together.

    I have no idea what to do, speaking of it out loud it just seems like guy 2 is the perfect match for me, but I've heard that he can be a bit of a player and my boyfriend now has a heart of gold and genuinly cares but it feels like its not my life when I'm with him like I'm trying to fit into his family and his training schedule.

    Do I break up with my boyfriend in general? Take a chance on guy 2 see if he is serious or if he does turn out to be a player?. Back of my mind I'm worried if guy 2 turns out that way then I lost a great guy (bf).
    HELP!
  • Feb 15, 2011, 03:32 PM
    liongal
    Guy 2 sound like mr RIGHT Now:o) Your still young, have safe fun and focus on your career!
  • Feb 15, 2011, 03:41 PM
    answerme_tender

    Miss86,

    I think you basically done with the gentlemen with the child. It obvious that you are not ready for a family at this point in your life, and its okay to honest about that.

    I think that you need to just explain to the gentleman with the child that you honestly are not at the point in your life to accept a ready made family. I don't know about others, but I would appreciate the honesty about that before I got any more serious with a person who isn't ready for that.

    You are still wanting to go out and party with your friends, and there is NOTHING wrong with that, so it appears that # 2 man is more into you life style at this point and time. However, I would like to state it IS very unfair that you are cheating behind the first gentleman by even talking let alone going out with the other guy, you should have let him know first that you weren't ready for a committed relationship with him.

    If #2 ends up being a player and goes around behind your back dating other women, then you will be taking the same risk that the gentleman with the child did on you!! I realize your young, but keep in mind How we treat others in front and behind their backs is how we are able to hold our heads up with pride!
  • Feb 15, 2011, 05:47 PM
    talaniman

    Why be a lying cheater, or a rabbit that jumps from hole to hole? Be honest with the guy your with, and either go or stay, but if you can't decide you need to be single until you can, anyway.

    Talaniman Rule - Date them all, short, fat, skinny, or tall. 18- 80, blind, cripple or crazy.

    Talaniman Rule-When you stop looking for love, and do your thing, and enjoy ALL YOUR OPTIONS, AND OPPORTUNITIES, love will find you.

    Talaniman Rule-Build a life that you enjoy without a mate and your happiness will attract people who will want to share in it with you.

    Talaniman Rule- never be in a hurry to give your heart to a stranger. Wait until they have proven they deserve it, and know what to do with it.

    Talaniman Rule- Doesn't matter how intense the feelings, or how much fun you have, never give your heart to someone you don't know well, and that’s only after the lust has worn off for you both.

    Talaniman Rule - Don't miss other opportunities and options because your stuck on someone who is not as stuck on you, that’s just plain crazy.

    Talaniman Rule- Be honest with yourself, and be honest with others.

    Talaniman Rule-When you stop looking for love, and do your thing, and enjoy ALL YOUR OPTIONS, AND OPPORTUNITIES, love will find you.

    Talaniman Rule-Build a life that you enjoy without a mate and your happiness will attract people who will want to share in it with you.

    Talaniman Rule- Give yourself 6 months of dating and getting to know someone, before you decide together to be DATING EXCLUSIVELY, and having fun getting to know each other.
  • Feb 21, 2011, 09:50 AM
    sorya
    In Reading your post it sounds like to me you have already made your choice!! It feels good to go for the for sure guy whom has a big heart but part of life is being happy otherwise you are just settling and we all know where settling leads to DIVORCE!! So even though you heard this giuy was a player he makes you happy and in the end that's all that mnatters especially when you are young and have plenty of time to make mistakes just have fun while you make them. Going for the guy who you are currently with is kind of like dating the guy your parents set you up with. He is the perfect guy that willt reat you right and is a good man however don't confuse comfort with love. If the guy doesn't make your heart jump out of your chest then maybe he is the guy for your parents not you!
  • Feb 21, 2011, 05:49 PM
    miss86
    Thank you very much to everyone for your opinions and advice. This was my first time posting and hearing your answers really helped me out. Being able to talk it out lifted a weight off chest. Thanks again

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