Should I apologize to a friend who has no idea I wronged them 20 years ago?
Recently, I have been trying to sort out my life. I have come to the conclusion that there are some things in my life I am ashamed of and would like to make apologies to those I have hurt. Yes, I know this is to make me feel better, but that is the idea. Here's what happened: 20 years ago, my friend and I went out and a guy gave her his phone number. I was jealous. I was upset. I was selfish with envy and pride. So, when she was in the bathroom, I took the number and threw it away. I rationalized it over the years, thinking that he should have asked for her number, too, or that she could have remembered his name and where he worked. I made a breakthrough in my therapy recently, and now I feel awful about what I did - what right did I have? I should have been happy for her and instead, I felt jealous and selfish. She just thought she dropped it and lost it. 20 years later, I know what happened, but she doesn't. She went on with her life and is happily married. My life is a mess (big surprise!), but she's fine and as far as I know, she has not thought about the incident after it happened. I feel a need to unload this from my head and heart. What should I do? Should I tell her about it? Thanks.