I have been sleeping with a man for 6 months, he is committed to his children and been separated from his wife for over a year. He texts me 5 out of 7 days, I respond, I may text him 1 a week. We have only sleep together a few times. What do I do? I need more or I need to move on. What do I say?

He had children. That won't change. Whatever relationship you develop with him must involve his children.

He is obviously keen on you, but it's up to you to decide if you want the emotional (and financial) baggage of a man with children.

Have the two of you discussed what direction you would like the relationship to go? Do you feel he is interested in things being more serious? If you are unsure where things stand, and where they might be going, it would be a good time to bring it up.

Knowing whether you are on the same page will help you to decide if the relationship is likely to progress as you would like or if you might need to move on and find someone who is wanting the same thing as you are.

As Eileen said, he is a package deal, so that is something you will have to consider as well. It can be wonderful for some people, but a deal breaker for others.

I need to go into more detail. I have children also. Im not afraid of that. We have been friends for many taers, him, his X and myself, we are all still friends. Ithink he isn't ready for sharing that we are anything more than that with the kids. At one point we where together he said, I wish we weren't mutual friends (this would include his X). I don't want to stay a secret for ever. I don't know how to talk about this with him. Do I ask him if this is the way it will allways be, and then let him know its not enough for me. How and when do I bring up this conversation?

It sounds like you may be at different stages of life.

Have they started divorce proceedings, is it final, or are they only separated?

Did he date anyone before becoming involved with you? I ask because I am concerned that he is hasn't really started allowing himself to heal from the break-down of his marriage. He probably won't until well after the divorce is final. Your mutual friendship with both of them for years makes me wonder if you are his bandage while he lets go of his marriage.

How close to his wife are you? Do you discuss the relationship they had with either of them or is the friendship that close?

I think you need to make a date to discuss your relationship with him and what the expectations are-yours and his. Be honest with him. Listen to his needs. See if there is a compromise. Go from there.

I see a big red flag with you sleeping with a friends husband, who is a friend to you, after 6 months of them being separated. Now you are secret lovers with kids thrown in the mix, yours and his, and I am sure they play together often. Not a very good situation, and I think you back off, and at least let him get his divorce, and other things straight.

I have to be honest, and warn you, that when the facts come to light, it will be a very bad situation with a lot of hurt feelings, and resentments, and that's the more you will get. For now you are a rebound for a hurt man, heck since he is still married, you are his "mistress" in a sense, the other woman, and that's not going to play well with any one as right, or wrong, whether you did it or not, you will be blamed by her for the marriage going south, and ended any chance of them working things out.

I wish you could move on, and get from under this situation you have gotten into, because I don't see you getting the "MORE" you really want. I don't think you will like how this turns out at all, but that's all I can do is warn you.

You have shed a lot of light, although it is hard to get the whole story on here. Our children are of alarge age gap, mine are,22 & 20, his are 16 and under, they do not mingle. His wife has made it very clear to me she dose not love him and would like to see him move on, she has even told me she would like to see him with me, I do realize that this is easier said than seen(at least it would be through my eyes), she brought this up in front of a group of friends, I didn't bring up this conversation. Their children have seen me spend time with both parents and know I love all of them. Thank you, I don't want to be any ones mistress.

There has been much light shown to me in many views. I need to decide where I want to start or end. I hope to see just a little more insite since I have made comments,with afew more details, all of this has helped

There is so much baggage being carried around on both side. How are you going to have enough hands to hold each other?

At this stage of your lives, you should be in a very good position to define what you want. If he can't provide what you want, it's better not to force the issue and go your separate ways.

This man is trying to find a new normal for himself, he has to figure out how to be alone and how to juggle being a father under the new circumstances, he's sleeping with you (a friend of his wife), he,I'm sure is trying to figure out who he is now, how can he be honest with you when he is only learning about himself in a new world.

My advice the same as everyone else, walk away.

take the children out of the equation it still adds up to a rebound in my way of thinking. A quick fix to get him through a hard time and no long term outcome.

Guys that separate from their wives, and find comfort in willing arms, seldom think long term, and when the emotional dust settles for them, they are ready to look at their options, and opportunities.

This is a classic case of jumping out of one relationship, into another, even with the 6 months in between, and that adds up to rebound. Rebounds can last for years though, and usually ends when the hurt one that needs comfort, no longer needs it, and is strong enough to be able to do their thing without the new partner. They are ready to move on from the past, and seek a future.

Don't confuse his gratitude and appreciating you rescuing him from loneliness, with life long love. It goes the same for females after a failed relationship, and they seek partners to make them feel good, instead of going through the very hard, and long process, of a proper haling.

Rebounds are shortcuts, the easy way out, that come back to bite one, or the other, or both in the a$$.