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-   -   I really screwed up.I've cheated,and basically let my girlfriend down in every way. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=553483)

  • Feb 11, 2011, 04:22 AM
    LONELY11
    I really screwed up.I've cheated,and basically let my girlfriend down in every way.
    I screwed up,I've cheated and basically let my girlfriend down in every way.now she doesn't want to have sex with me.. I mean,I understand.but what does this mean.am I not attractive anymore?is she going to leave me for somebody else? Or is this a start to us falling back in love and building? I don't know but I really want too and have too change for the better.im starting with staying out the streets,finding a job,and turning to god cause I really love her and don't want to hurt her anymore.. any suggestions?feel free..
  • Feb 11, 2011, 05:23 AM
    J_9

    How old are the two of you? Our answers may vary depending on your ages.
  • Feb 11, 2011, 09:28 AM
    sion1
    Well, it's a great time to give her space and figure out what you really want. You cheated for a reason, maybe your not as in love with this girl as you think. Maybe you need to focus on other aspects of your life and forget about being in a committed relationship for now, work on yourself.
  • Feb 11, 2011, 09:47 PM
    ziggysd
    First of all , the fact that you are primarily concerned that she no longer wants to sleep with you is telling. That being said, it could be time for you both to move on. There's a reason you cheated that may not have to do with just you. Think it over and decide if you really want to pursue a long time commitment to this girl and find out if she can forgive you and build back the relationship. Many people in this world cheat/make mistakes, but it's the decision to move forward that will keep you together. If not, then you will both be better off.
  • Feb 12, 2011, 09:56 AM
    LONELY11
    Comment on J_9's post

    Me27 and her29

    Comment on sion1's post

    Maybe your right

    Comment on ziggysd's post

    Sounds good but I do want to do the right thing and be the man I suppose to be... its not easy to walk away
  • Feb 12, 2011, 08:29 PM
    talaniman

    Forget the sex, be glad she is even talking to you, and you better believe it will be a long road of perfect behavior before she trust you again.

    You cheated, and expect her to forgive, forget, and have sex with you? I don't think so.

    Be a really good boy, and see what happens.
  • Feb 12, 2011, 08:40 PM
    DoulaLC

    It's going to to take time and effort on your part to rebuild the trust. Will she be suspicious? Probably for awhile. Will she question you about where you go or who you talk to? Quite likely... if not outright, then by comments she makes. She will be looking for reassurance that you are committed to her and to the relationship.

    YOU will have to do all that you can to reassure her that this won't happen again. But before you can do that, you will have to do what has been said... figure out why you cheated in the first place. What did you get out of the cheating that you didn't think you were getting, or could get, with your girlfriend? Did you end this other relationship on your own or did you end it because you got caught? Would it have continued if your girlfriend didn't know about it?

    Do you want to be in an exclusive, committed relationship, or do you want to still be able to keep your options open, but you like the comfort of knowing your girlfriend is there? Were you thinking that would even be possible?

    Much to think about...

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