I am going crazy, and I don't want any medicine those didn't work in the past they will not work one, I want to solve this on my own and have a normal life, but I don't know how, I think I have so much numbness, and I don't want to feel it anymore, The type of person I want to be, powerful, kind, intelligent, funny, opinionated.

I see myself as, lazy, worries too much and will not enjoy life, and It doesn't stop all I do all day Is worry I can't stop, I have so much homework to do and I don't even do it, all I do is spend all day on the Internet trying to figure out life, because I feel like I don't know how to talk to people, and I want to. I want to come off confident.

Please please help me, I am going crazy.

You gain confidence through repetition and will power..

Keep trying, force yourself to the things you want, willpower or medicine!

But you will not normally do it on your own, people who are powerful, strong, funny and more are normally social people who build up theirself with and though others.

So get the help, support groups, friends and if needed medication.

The worst thing with meds is that. 1. they work too well, and after getting better people stop them thinking they don't need them..

2. because of their issues, they won't take them long enough or proper till actually get well.

pardon me for stating the obvious.

-->u want to come off as confident. How can u be confident if your life is in such a mess? Yes, u may come on to this website to rant. But first, get your homework done.

-->2 easy steps to success
1) acknowledge your problem
2) solve it! U either do or don't. There is no TRY and fail. If u fail, keep trying!
Ok, so you accomplished step 1. U identified your problem-->laziness. No one can force u to get up your lazy *** and do something. Only YOU can! Did u know? U have a tool far more POWERFUL than anything in this world. And it is called WILLPOWER. WILL u do it? Or WILL u not? YOU decide!

Even if it's just going through the motions, do them. U will feel a sense of accomplishment for completing something. The more u practice, the better u will get. With enough exposure to doing the same thing everyday, u will start to understand the subject matter more (be it exercise or science). There u go, now u understand something, and u are good at it-->another accomplishment! If u stay on this website to rant about your frustrations and worries, well I assure u u will get VERY good at it. So why not apply it to a sport or a study?

finally, when u become good at a certain subject or activity, u will feel that u actually enjoy it. U enjoy it because u can do it well. U will be proud of yourself. U will feel intelligent. Furthermore, u will have a subject to be opinionated about. If u know nothing, u can't have an opinion on anything right?

u mentioned u want to be kind. How about getting out of this website and navigating to a charity website? Look for a charity near to you and volunteer. Even if it's just to read to children or to act as a listening ear to abandoned old folks. U will be making a huge difference in their lives. And in return, u will start to feel that your life is more wholesome because u now have a PURPOSE in life. Your purpose is to add a little sunshine to the lives of others! You don't have to be too vocal to be good company. Some people just want a listening ear. With volunteer work, actions speak louder than words.

About being funny...
well, it comes naturally. When u start taking all these steps to make yourself a better person, and contribute to other people's lives, u will realize u meet more people. By having more skills, the more things u have to talk about. Hence, u will start to talk more without your knowing it. People will start talking to u more because u have something to offer them. U can share your experiences and your knowledge with them. The more u interact with people, the more comfortable u will get, and when u are comfortable and happy with your life, u will naturally start to laugh. U will be able to laugh at the little things in life. U will be able to laugh when someone is clumsy. U will be able to laugh because nothing is weighing your heart down.

powerful (check)
kind (check)
intelligent (check)
funny (check)
opinionated (check)

I do not know your background story about your family or your medical condition. But I can tell u that the mind is a far more effective medicine than any a doctor will ever prescribe to u. YOU must be the element of change u want to see in yourself. It will take time. Since you say u want to change. I believe u can. The want is there. Now u just have to take action. =) I'm also trying to make myself a more wholesome person, more confident and more attractive. U are not alone! So don't give up! Keep trying and u will get there! :) (hugs)

thank you to all that anwered. I really found it helpful what you said. I just wanted to inform you that after I got off this website, I went and ranted in my journal and just wrote down everything that came to mind, about me that I just wanted to write out. And yes I have been feeling like I don'tt have a purpose and for that I made a bucket list. And I also goals. I also made a list of things and my opinios about them so that I could see inwriting weather or not I like them. I know this is going to take awhile, and I have to stick at it. So thank you for all the help. =] and srry about the really bad spelling. Lol

good job! Nice to see u got your act together in a snap! =)

So after my other question, I have that done, but the thing I am worried about now is the fact of others. I just started college( I am not sure if I said it in the last question) and I have been so worried about others and how to get them to like me and how to say things they want that I think I have messed up my whole repuation. And its not a big college, This guy asked me out, about two weeks ago, and hasn't talked to me in class. I told him I coundt hang out and then he said k well just tell me when. So I don't think that was him really liking me. And if there was anyway to build on the flame I think that's gone. The other thing is that I think I just messed up my whole social life, I don't know how to (even though I know I can't change others opinois of myself) to get them to see me in a different light. The worst thing about changing is faluire and that it takes awhile. God I am so scared. I have never ever had a good social life, and I have never had a good "bf" I donm't really have boyfriend. And also here is the thing, when I talk to people I say things that aren't lies but are things that don't need to be said, and I don't really understand how to stop that, I need to get this figured out.

First college is for education first and if you have some social life great, if not, there is time after you achieve an education.

But you don't use the past, you go on and you make the right choices and it may take time to build it up correctly, but at college level you have years and years ahead to do it right this time

Why can't you hang out with the guy? His invitation was one to check you out to see if he does like you, not an invitation for romance but to see if you have fun together. You worry too much. Were you on anxiety pills or something before??

Just be yourself, and stop worrying who likes it or not.

Threads merged, and EDITED!!!!


I can't stand it, why do I have to think so much, I mean can't I just stop thinking, really just stop. I mean I woke up this morning and I was like I don't want to wake up I just want to live in a fantasy world.

So I went out with that guy, we were supposed to go out the night before at around 8, and he didn't show, so I texted him, and he said sorry, my dad was sick would you like to go out today I am sorry. I said I only have about 3 hours later tonight, and so he called me around 6 and told me that he need to take a shower and stuff and he would be there soon. And he had a hell of time finding my house.

Then he asked were I wanted to go, and I said well I need to pick up some books and so he took me to the library and we talked and I feel like I bragged, like about stuff. (please note this is the only date I have ever been on, I have had boyfriend but no really dates, even if this was a date, I don't really know) and he talked and showed me some stuff, of his, and then he asked me were I wanted to go to eat, and I said the restaurant name, and when we went in we sat down, but you know the thing I have been obsessing over is the body language apparently guys have certain body language to say whether they are interested, I guess he was looking around and on his phone, he even said though I am know I shouldn't be on it, and when he was on the phone (he was like making plans for later on, which was kind of rude, but idk) he said he listen I have to go, I am out with someone, and then he said my name, and he got off, and pretty much stayed off, if I remember correctly.

Then we started talking again he asked me what all I like to do other then read, and I said well I board, and he said well my mom works up at this mountain, if you want to go sometime I can get you free tickets, and I was like yeah that would be cool. And then when he was on the conversation he said to the person he was on the phone with well hey listen I will not really have an money in a little bit I am going to be broke. But he didn't look at me. So Idk about that, and then he went and paid for the food. Without asking for any help.

Then he said well what do you want to do know, and I said well I need to home in about an hour. And he said well we can just drive around, (doesn't that mean they want to spend time with you), and he said well here I will take you by my house so you can see were I live, and yeah here is the big thing lol aha he got arrested at the end of the whatever it was date, or hanging out. And when the police came to talk to me, I was kind of a smart ***. Lol and they funny thing was he asked me what I was up here for and I said to go to college and he said majoring in what and I said criminal justice. Lol haha

Anyway, when they cop put me on the side walk, the guy turned and looked and me, not a bad look, but a natural look, and then when he was driving away he said something but I have no idea...
And then I left him a voice mail, and I don't know what do, I am going crazy not over him, hahaha but just over the fact that I can't just let it rest and wait to see what happens when he gets out.

I just obsess over everything, I can stop thinking, and when I can't stop thinking I can't be myself, and nothing else matters, all I do is find ways to correct things, and then obsess over correcting them. I just need to stop thinking, I also don't have many friends I think I would have more if I stop thinking so much. But how is the question.

First off, let me recommend no texting on AMHD and use paragraphs. You gloss over that this guy was arrested at end of the date? Huh? Did I follow that correctly? You give me details about his body language but then nothing about him getting arrested. I read it twice and have no idea what your question is. Simplify it and repost a new question.