I have been with my girlfeind for about 6 months now. I am 21 and she is 17 at the moment. She got hired at my place of work I met her when she was only 16 and we started talking and I just found myself falling for her.. now I was raised to date people with reason. I could deffenatly see me and her being married after having spent time with her and to the point where I'm completely in love with her.

She says she is all for everything, she is talking about getting married and being together forever. We are talking about putting money together and moving in with one another when the time comes. The thing about this situation is that her father is a single parent very strict so it's basically we have to hide our relationship from everybody because she has someone related to her father at the job. Her mother left her family when my girlfriend was young and never wants to ever be like her mother. Her discription of her mother was a prostitute drug addict.

The father distills that my girlfriend reminds her of her mother being hardheaded, no common sense, and does not care for anyone but herself. We can't express anything and it is basically a secret and that's just the beginning.

My family fully supports me and I brought her to meet my family and they love her they see how I feel about her. Now a week from our 6 month anniversary I found out \"skeletons\" from her best friend saying a whole bunch of stuff (ex. She lied about me takeing her virginity and her cheating on me etc.. ) I confronted her about everything telling her I was getting texts about these things and I needed to talk to her about everything. She ended up saying that she never cheated or even thought about it but the virginity thing was true I was second and she told me that a boy took her virginity and she ended up not having her period for 2 months, and had the biggest scare of her life, and it was the biggest regret of her life.. and then she says I think we needa break for her to get on her 2 feet.

She says she is having too much preasure with everything, now she is saying that she wants to take a break until she gets on her feet. But her idea of getting on her 2 feet is getting into college and possibly moving out of her house and all the rules and regulations.. now that's means that I would have to wait about a year and half minimum because she is half way through her junior year of high school and then you have to put in the factor of her saving up for apartment and everything.

But she promised me I will have her first baby and that she wants to give me one of her rings as a promise that I am her forever and no matter who she gets with or has a relationship with if anything like that happens that she doesn't care and wants to end up with me no matter what because I am her forever.

I am planning on going in the military within the next couple months and for all this to happen to me now.. I don't know what to do! What should I do and what kind of advice I need help =(=( I love her so much and I think I'm willing to wait I never met anyone like her in my life and I know she is the one I want to be with for the rest of my life..

Dls, my man the best thing I heard you say was I am going to the military. That is a great choice career for any man trying to better himself and seeking a stable job while defending the country he loves. Your relationship has not displayed any foundation or substance to get serious about. Especially when its based on secrets and a women who is putting you on hold to sort out things--- but at the same time is willing to get involved with others in the process. Wisdom tells me she is unsure of herself and only wants to hold on to you for insurance. I know what seems right to you because you like her so much but when you get away and see the world you will see things differently. She is 17. She is still in high school which puts her in a total differ rhelm of life than you. Let her have her break to sort things out, be her friend and allow things to work themselves out while you go see the world and learn new experiences. Sometimes you don't know what love really is until to explore and met different people. Love has a way of finding you.. and you don't even have to look to hard for it. Relax and explore. Life has a lot to offer a young man who is willing to travel and see the world.

Yea I know its just so hard I guess... I have been through other relationships and I tell you no other girl has ever made me feel this way about them. I thought I knew what love was until I met her, that's how I feel when it comes down to it. When I found out all these things I told her no matter what I want to work anything out because I don't care what happened because it is the past, and yet she still came up with the break idea... do you think I should accept the ring from her for this promise for being together? I mean I want accept the ring and I will cherish it as a memory but I agree she needs to find herself obviously in this situation because we are in different points in our life. But how can you just be friends.. I know it's a short time but I know what and I want and what I want is her.. should I just stop talking to her to give her space? I'm a little confused on that part.. im thinking of just letting her call or text me when she wants I won't do anything back would that be wrong?

How should I go about just being friends? Because I don't want to loose her and I still trust her with all my heart. I mean I'm not going to loose faith in her just because of something like that I mean I was hurt that I wasent her first, but at the same time if I was in that situation and got hurt by the first boy I was with.. I probably would have not said anything too from regretting the fact I lost my virginity to someone I didn't love. And the whole military thing I'm still going whether I'm with her I already got my mind set on it. I will always wear that ring closest to my heart she is the only person who has really touched my soul. I mean there is always doubt but I treated her like a queen, she reminds me of my mother. I guess all I can do is think positive and hope and pray she falls back into my arms in the future, but every always says that's a fantasy and the odds are against me but all you got to do is have faith.. I love you Shadey Rode

DLS, Just be honest with her, tell her how you feel about the ring thing and what your plans are for your life. Because w/o you having a life. Life w/ her would be in vain. Being friends is easy because that is what you are already until there is a commitment. Its up to you what you except my friend. You obviously have strong feelings for this girl. But don't let than cloud your better judgement. You will meet others if you are serious about pursuing a career in the military. And military life takes some getting use to. My advice is you get serious about your career. Let her finish high school and whatever else she needs to complete. Limit the text thing that is so impersonal. I tell my daughter all the time just call them if you got that much to say. You are confused because you really want to have a relationship w/ her and you don't know the best route. The best route is to better yourself and see what life as to offer. Feelings change like the wind. You can't make a judegment based on feelings. Self improvement is what you need and When the time is right and things move forward---if you two were meant to be it will happen. Be careful and work hard at developing your mind and soul. The military life will challenge you and show you just want you are made of... I am proud to have served and I recommended it hightly. God bless you DLS.

Faith is all you need. Be Strong.

Well we talked and I had to see her at work the next ****in day.. we gave each other the rings and I decided that I will talk if she needs to take but I'm sort of old fasioned so I tooks her address down and I'm going to send her letters,pics and updates of my life. I feel that this way of communication is a little more personal. No one uses mail anymore and any thing else texts, email etc you just delete them you know. A letter you have that for ever you can the emotion in the persons writing and what they are feeling when they write it. The only bad thing is we still see each other at work so I don't know how this break will be but.. we willsee and hopefully I knock 2 birds out with one stone and the father reads my letters and he will get too know me through the letters so I just kept an open mind ima just be there for her and at the same time ima just do me, get in the army and do what I need to do and get my career rolling. I think this will be my best bet, I still trust aher and I mean she gave the ring as a promise and I gave her mine as a promise so I just hope it all works out.

That's great! I am sure things will workout. Congrats on your new start in life w/ the military. You will see the world and when you return home you will be different and much wiser.

Your girl has a lot of growing to do, and I think you may have missed something in the shock of this break up. She didn't want to be confronted by you about her past, so she broke it off with you. That's not a coincidence, and a kids way of avoiding the truth. No telling what else she may be hiding, but you have a future, and as of right now she isn't in it, no matter what she says, or how many rings she promises on.

I think she is just trying to cover her own arse until you forget the facts and hopes you don't dig to deep into the truth. Don't get me wrong, she loves you, but is hardly ready to be in an adult relationship with a grown man. Come on guy, you have fallen very fast for this teen ager in 6 months, and you better back up to see her love is just not the same as yours. It can't be, she hasn't seen the real world or grown into a woman yet.

@ Telaniman yea I agree with you as well with the whole falling for her very fast.. she reminds me of my mother which I'm sure helped the attachment. I mean I'm sure with time and w/e she will come to me and tell me her truths if it is true. But I know that will take time and only when she grows into a woman she is still young. Its still early which why I was so upset and honsestly I have been through so much I can really switch my main feelings with a girl on and off.. its just that I really feel that I trust her when she tells me these things don't see any doubt in her eyes when she says what she says.. I know its very unrealistic, but I think there is still something that can deffenatly happen between me and her in the future, but again it's the future and who know how I will feel later on about the whole situation. I mean in the long run isn't love about taking risks... im always going to keep an open mind about it and I'm not going to let this get me down and not go for oprotunitites that come around I'm still going to do me so either way its what ever I suppose.

My girlfriend of 6 months, brought up having a break and said she is "not ready to be in this relationship" with me? Yet she made promises to me to be together in the future, we have promise rings or w/e. she still says she loves me. We still hug and kiss and hang out. She just keeps saying she doesn't want to be in this relationship what advice do you have?

A lot can happen in 6 months, first you have the honey moon stage which can last a long time and you really feel like your in love at them times, you want to do everything together, you think of your futures together, everything is peachy. But then reality sets in and the period wears off and sometimes your still in love but that mad rush and excitement settles and other times you realise it was all far too fast and you don't quite feel the same as you did at the start, you notice eachothers bad habits etc etc.. this is what has probably happened to you girlfriend, she has been honest with you, but your both on different pages, you want to be with her and she kind of does? I don't think that's fair on your part, she's hanging on to you for a reason and I'm not sure what that is but its not right, I think you need to find out where you stand, either she's with you or not, if not then move on.

As hard as it may be, give her the space she asks for. If you want to, date other people while still seeing her once in awhile. Get to know what you want and don't want in a relationship.

Who knows, you may end up back together at some point, or you very well may find someone who is even more compatible, and her wanting some space becomes the best thing that could have happened.

Well it was a big thing like I was already going to the army and I stated I didn't want to be in a relationship at this point in my life.. we still went together hung out and then things led to one another.. she pushed for a relationship I kind of just went with it and learned to love her at this point I love everything about her.. but it was a whole thing it didn't just out of nowhere I guess.. the best friend ended up lying and about her sleeping with other people I told her I wanted to get to the bottom of it and stuff and I found the truth about the friend. Yet she still says that isn't ready for our kind of relationship. I mean she still say she is madly in love with me and wants to have my kids and marry me and be with me forever, but she isn't ready for this relationship right now? What do you guys think? And she says we are just friends as of right now and she doesn't know about dating other people, so I'm thinking its in the cards.. I'm leaving for the army in about 2 months and this is what I wanted to avoid.. and by the way she is 17 I'm 21.. so I'm assuming it's a age thing..

You are both young, her very much so. It is easy to be "in love" with the idea of marriage, babies, and having a family in the future, but you can't put your life on hold while she decides what she wants. She isn't, thus she wants to back off a bit.

Personally, I would just date her and have fun spending time together, but try not to put any future plans into the mix. She is wise to see the benefit of some space, especially since you both have some very big changes coming up.

Stay in contact while you are gone, but be aware that there is every likelihood that she will want to date others... and that is how it should be. Best not to be exclusive at this point.

I don't know what answers you are looking for, but there is no need to start a new thread with the same question.

Sorry guy, but planning your life around a high school kid is crazy, especially knowing that you will be leaving soon. So of course she breaks up with you now, but is still going to hang around until you actually leave.

You may feel the same when you get back, you may not. But she is smart enough to know that she isn't going to be sitting and waiting to find out, nor does she want to be hooked up with someone a long way off. She is young, and wants to have her own fun now, and you better take that as she doesn't want to sit, and wait for you to get back, when there is a whole world to explore, and fun to be had.

She is right, and you have to accept it. I would enjoy it until you leave, and say good bye and do your thing. Thats what she is going to do, but she is being very nice about it.