My daughter lives with her father in AZ. She is 16 years old. She hasn't talked to me for a year and I try to keep in contact with her threw letters, email, phone messages. Her complaints about me were that she doesn't like my smoking, some things about my personality but I feel these things don't warrant what she is doing to me. What should I do?

Why does her father have custody? Is that part of the problem?

I think the best thing you can do is keep the lines of communication open, don't take it too personally (I know that's difficult but she's 16), stay in contact, reassure her that you love her "no matter what" and just hang in there.

Can her father help you, can you work together to reach some resolution?

She is probably just angry about the whole situtation. Maybe she blames you for her problems. She most likely is just upset and instead of trying to resolve your relationship she is pushing you away. She is 16 so you should not take her very seriously. Soon she will realize how much she needs a mom and will contact you. Just be strong until then.

YES, the reason why he has custody and while phone and emals are nice, when was the last time you drove out for a visit

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Originally Posted by marie32

She is probably just angry about the whole situtation. Maybe she blames you for her problems. She most likely is just upset and instead of trying to resolve your relationship she is pushing you away. She is 16 so you should not take her very seriously. Soon she will realize how much she needs a mom and will contact you. Just be strong til then.

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I disagree - the mother is the adult here. The mother is the one who needs to keep trying to make contact. The daughter is 16, thinks she's an adult, but she is not.

If the mother does NOT attempt to keep lines of communication open some day the daughter will throw that back at her.

Maybe the daughter will never answer but, again, the mother is the adult.