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-   -   My boyfriend moved out (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=551949)

  • Feb 6, 2011, 01:59 PM
    SantannaP
    My boyfriend moved out
    My boyfriend moved out last week after we got into a argument. He said he was moving out because he didn't want to live paycheck to paycheck. He said that we are still together, but he doesn't know when he is coming back. He's left most of his things here and is supposed to come back and get them soon. He told me he was going to stay with his parents, but instead he moved in with his cousin. I am not sure if he is trying to prove a point to me or if he really isn't coming back. I want to know should I tell his mom about this or what should I do? I couldn't get him to stay. He just kept saying he was sorry, he loved me and he didn't know when he was moving back. I feel he is aggravated because I haven't found a job yet, but up until January 2011 I've used the only money I had to help with bills.
  • Feb 6, 2011, 02:08 PM
    Enigma1999

    So uhm...

    He basically left you responsible for his portion of rent/bills.

    Sounds like an upstanding fellow.

    First thing I would do is talk to your landlord.

    Is his name on the lease?

    Bottom line is that you don't want a man who will run when the going get tough, do you?
  • Feb 6, 2011, 02:12 PM
    jmjoseph
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Enigma1999 View Post
    So uhm......

    He basically left you responsible for his portion of rent/bills.

    Sounds like an upstanding fellow.

    First thing I would do is talk to your landlord.

    Is his name on the lease?

    Bottom line is that you don't want a man who will run when the goin get tough, do you?

    I agree with this.

    Who does he think he is, leaving, but "still together"?

    He bailed out when you needed him the most. What kind of man does that? A weak one I say.

    Trade that monkey for a man.

    Good luck to you.
  • Feb 6, 2011, 02:15 PM
    becksna
    This sucks for you I have to admit. There are a few inconsistencies with his story which you have pointed out and that should be a red flag for you that he is probably not coming back. I know that may not be what you want to hear and I am sorry to have the opinion. But again, it's an opinion, I don't know either of you, but being an previous "I am not sure when I am coming back guy" I didn't come back FYI.
    Anyway, what is it that you want to accomplish by speaking to his mom is what I am wondering. Sorry by not answering your initial question there, but we need a little more information.
  • Feb 6, 2011, 02:16 PM
    Enigma1999
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by jmjoseph View Post
    I agree with this.

    Who does he think he is, leaving, but "still together"?

    He bailed out when you needed him the most. What kind of man does that? A weak one I say.

    Trade that monkey for a man.

    Good luck to you.

    Not to mention, say he got her pregnant... Then what?

    I'm willing to bet he would bail out on her AND the baby.

    I see a red flag here. He is showing his true colors and what he's made of.

    Why she would want him to stay is beyond me..
  • Feb 6, 2011, 02:27 PM
    SantannaP
    Comment on becksna's post
    My boyfriend's family treats me as family and I know he parents didn't raise him to be this way and I know they wouldn't go for this kind behavior. So I plan to talk to his mother to see if she can talk some sense into him.
  • Feb 6, 2011, 02:33 PM
    jmjoseph

    Comment on becksna's post

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    My boyfriend's family treats me as family and I know he parents didn't raise him to be this way and I know they wouldn't go for this kind behavior. So I plan to talk to his mother to see if she can talk some sense into him.

    I would use his mother's influence as a last resort.

    He might not be the one for you in the end.

    How old is this guy? He sounds quite immature.
  • Feb 6, 2011, 02:36 PM
    becksna
    Comment on becksna's post
    Again, just my opinion, if in you are that close, it may actually help you out to find out the true story behind his leaving. Just remember, blood is thicker than relationships and be careful not to allienate yourself. Be safe!
  • Feb 6, 2011, 02:40 PM
    Enigma1999

    Santanna, Look, if someone has to "talk some sense" in him, then you don't want him anyway.

    I guess what I'm saying is that he's not worthy of you. He left you. He's gone.

    You don't do that to a person you love or even care about.

    You stick it out. You work together. You find ways to get it done.

    Talking to his Mother, to me anyway, is pointless.

    However, who I would talk to is the landlord. See what can be done,if anything...

    Then I would tell prince charming that you are finished with him!
  • Feb 6, 2011, 02:50 PM
    SantannaP
    His sister's fiance's parents are letting us rent the house. We don't have a lease. Yes he isn't sure when he's coming back, but he says he is still my boyfriend. That don't make since to me either.

    He has some maturing to do. Anytime we get into an argument it's because he isn't trying to spend time with me, but he's playing World of War Craft all day before and after work.
  • Feb 6, 2011, 09:22 PM
    becksna
    Comment on SantannaP's post
    Ohhh goodness... Worrld of War... Yep, drop him like a bad habit. I would take a REAL PERSON over a video game.
  • Feb 7, 2011, 07:07 AM
    talaniman

    He leaves and doesn't know when he will be back, but you are still together? That's pretty rude and disrespectful, and I highly suggest you get to a safe place that you can afford as you work to be independent. Just in case he doesn't come back to pay the rent.

    Let him think whatever he wants because if you allow a guy to do whatever he wants without knowing what's up and what the guidelines are then that would be on you. So protect yourself.
  • Feb 10, 2011, 10:38 PM
    vanheart
    Find a new place to rent & leave him behind.

    He wants you to wait for him? And live with his "family"

    What complete balls.

    I say split asap & never speak to him or his family again.

    Blood is thicker than water. And you are neither to him.

    Stay far away. Watch your back.

    Don't get sucked in by anyone. They are all keeping you hostage.

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