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  • Feb 3, 2011, 07:29 PM
    krissy519
    I need help and fast!
    Hi people,
    I'm a 20 year old. I just got a boyfriend and the problem is I have social anxiety issues. But its not just with him it every where. When I'm around a bunch of people my heart starts to pump so hard it hurt my chest, then my hands get very sweaty, all this causing me not to be able to breath (more like I'm suffocating.) and I shut out. While every one around me is laughing and having a good time I always sit with my legs crossed with my hands folded. I want so much to be a fun,outgoing person I know I can be, but I have no clue how to stop this series of feeling I go through when I'm around people.

    I need to know if there is any one out there that can help me get on the path of being who I want to be. Oh and BTW this only happens when I'm around people I don't know.
  • Feb 3, 2011, 07:38 PM
    ken007nielsen
    http://helpguide.org/mental/social_anxiety_support_symptom_causes_treatment.ht m

    I found this site, which offers multiple solutions, and guidelines you can follow. They will work, just not in an instance, this is really a problem you should try to consult a doctor with.

    I wish you good luck.
  • Feb 3, 2011, 07:40 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    So how long have you been in counseling for this, has anything you tried to cure this worked or helped so for ?

    And if you start to say you have not done anything, then the question is why not, since you want help, why have you not gotten professional help.
  • Feb 3, 2011, 08:18 PM
    JustinRED
    I kind of know how you feel because I was always a shy person with anxieties growing up. I always preferred to be alone and I always sat in the corner away from the crowd. When I was around other people I would sweat a lot, and had many nervous habits as a child through the time I was about 20. I never had much problem breathing, but my anxieties would cause me to click my elbows, and whatever I did on one side of my body I would have to do on the other, as well as make me feel like throwing up all the time. I didn't start going out until I was 22, when I met my girlfriend who was also reclusive(Not as much as me) and in the past two years I made a complete turn around. I turned my anxieties around somehow from constantly being exposed to dealing with people in the workplace and being forced into public high school.. where to be honest, I was scared ****less at the time. I still don't like big crowds but I can tolerate them now without any anxiety and occasionally I'll go to concerts and parties if my friends are going. A doctor may put you on medication if it is so bad and you cannot relax, which is a decision you might want to talk to your family about. I believe some people are just shy and anxious, and I never went to seek medical help. I felt great about myself when not around others but as soon as there were more than a few people hanging out I shut down completely. I think about how it was back then, and really Im a good looking guy who missed a lot of opportunities because I was afraid and let everything effect me. Once I realized that there was nothing wrong with me, and that people all have their faults-I realized there was nothing to be afraid of. The funny thing about my situation is that I actually wish I could go back to the days when I felt comfort in complete and utter solitude.. because now I see a lot of people who go to parties aren't really worth having in my life! LOL solitude makes you wise and allows you to see things from a distance-when you're in the crowd sometimes you get led along in a parade that doesn't go where you want to go. Who do you want to be? Don't be what others want you to be-believe in yourself and you'll see who you really are. No matter how much we appear to have changed, we all are who we are.. I'm still that shy kid in the corner with no friends, I just have a big tough outer shell now
  • Feb 3, 2011, 11:37 PM
    krissy519
    Comment on JustinRED's post
    Thank you so much for you help.im going to take your advice and try to use it.thanx again.

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