When would be best to go back to court after temporary custody granted?
Everyone that I talked to prior to my court date on that dreaded January 7th told me not to worry about losing custody of my children that I was an excellent mother and the kids are well taken care of and happy, but that horrifying thought of losing them lurked in my mind. I only thought only drug abusing, abusive, alcoholic women lose custody of their children. To my dismay that is so very untrue. I am a loving, caring nurse, mother, girl-friend, child, aunt and sister that doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, and has never even experimented with drugs, but my children were taken from me by their father, whom hasn't paid anything in means of support for his children for the entirety of their little lives. I have volunteered and taken bereavement pictures at no charge for numerous families that have lost their infant children and have become very successful as a nurse becoming one of the top one hundred nurses of in my area, worked at very prestigious hospitals in the United States. During court it seemed as if details and lies became entangled and there was no one there really searching for the truth. I never thought I would be involved in a custody war with my ex husband. It is funny how blind you are to what corruption can do to a human being that you had once loved. To sit there in a courtroom as a judge is in his chamber and watch a man bow his head and pray, knowing he is praying that he is rewarded custody based on the lies he told and twisted can just make you lose all hope in humanity. To look a woman in her eyes that is representing this man that was only a barely a weekend father and know that she is trying to rip you apart and destroy you as a person is just wrong on so many levels. Anyone that is a mother and stands behind a man regardless of if he is her son to rip two beautiful thriving little boys from the mother that has been there and held their little hands when they got their vaccinations, went through labor with no medication just because she wanted them to do better at birth, and have stayed up many of nights with vomiting and fever holding them close and making them just feel better because she was there, is just absurd to me knowing she was needed when raising her children. They call little boys momma's boys for a reason because they need their mothers. Life sometimes isn't fair and I know this. To say I have been through a lot in my life would be an understatement, but never once did I think I would have the one thing I had hoped and dreamed my whole life for taken away from me. To have this happen based on the fact that my child had six unexcused absences from school and twelve tardies and possible lived in a home that domestic violence had occurred. There is a reason behind everything and everything happens for a reason. My oldest son had never been to daycare prior to starting school and school has been hard for him to get used to and sometimes he is difficult to get going in the morning time. He gets frustrated with school because he feels like the other kids are smarter than him and it intimidates him and makes him not want to go. There had been mornings that the oldest would be completely ready for school and about to walk out the door and he would urinate on himself. I would have to bathe him and clean him up and put fresh clothes on him. There were times he would do this en route to school and we would have to turn around and go back home. Yes, I admit some mornings that he was late it was my fault due to having to stay at work late or oversleeping but he would always get there whether he was late or not. The days of school he would miss would be due to him being sick or not feeling well and one of those days was because his father kept him out of school after I was served with papers and refused to give them back based on the fact that he had something he wanted me to sign and this was his way of getting it done. I know how important an education is and that is why I went to school and made a career for myself. The domestic violence was never that and I believe when they hear that they think I am just a delusional battered woman, but this is so far from the truth. It was an altercation that escalated and the only way I knew how to deal with it was to call the police. I was never hit or beaten nor was I harmed by him in anyway. Yes, I did have a scratch on my face but that was because I scratched myself. Yes, he did try to get the phone from me only to try and calm me down without getting anyone else involved. Neither one of my children were there and neither one of them witnessed any of it. Once the police arrived an officer and my boyfriend got into a verbal argument due to the officer yelling and cussing at him and the officer stated that he was going to take him in on whatever he could and that is how he got charged with disturbance of family which was later dismissed at court cost. This one isolated incidence is what they are able to take my children away from me on? They didn't look at the fact their father tells them that I lie to them and that Santa Claus doesn't exist with any of the other magical holiday characters, or the fact that while I was giving birth naturally to both children while he sat on the couch and watched television, or the fact only months prior to him filing for custody he told me he was seriously thinking about moving to Ireland because the kids didn't like him and he didn't see staying here just because of them, or the fact that he put a potty trained four year old little boy in diapers every weekend he was with him because he didn't want him to make a mess, or the main fact that he didn't support his children their entire life and I maintained everything meaning insurance, clothing, shoes, school supplies, recreation, and shelter. To say the kids and I are very close just seems like an understatement. We do so much when we are together such as: go to the movies, go skating, ride horses, go to the zoo, go to museums, play board games, play games on the computer, have movie days, play with toys together, dance around the house being silly, and just plain have safe, fun, family time. My heart aches every time he rips them away from me and their home, the only home they have ever known. To watch both little boys cry and beg to stay with their Mommy just breaks my heart into a thousand pieces. To hear your six year old little boy make you promise to never stop fighting for him and your five year old beg you to please Mommy just come pick me up, is something I never thought would ever hear out of my children's mouths. Please help me, anyone please, I cannot go the rest of their little lives waiting for the next twelve days when I can see them again.
My oldest son is having behavior problems since temporary custody was awarded three weeks ago. He is angry, hitting and being violent towards his little brother. Their father spends less three hours a day with the children and two days out of the week it is less than that. He is taking the youngest to a babysitters house throughout the week when he told the judge that his family would be watching them. Since the custody was awarded, my boyfriend, whom they focused on, is no longer living with me nor are we together. Their father is treating me like I am nothing and he is better than everyone around him. He hasn't been letting me talk to them after he said he would. He told me that he would let me be a bigger part of their lives only after he received full custody of the kids.
I have a lawyer and she seems too busy to help me. She pretty much has just said that I need to just keep a record of everything he does, take lots of pictures, and get involved in doing things at the school. I just feel like my children are suffering over there and being toted around to any and everyone.
I guess my questions are:
1. When would be best to go back to court?
2. Do you think having the boyfriend move out and not being with him anymore will make a difference?
3. Is there anything else you can suggest that I do?
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