Ok so I'm 17 and pregnant with my ex's baby.We dated for a while but ended our relationship back in December. Three weeks after the break up I found out I was pregnant. I recently started dating someone new and he's perfectly fine with the fact I'm pregnant with my ex's baby. My ex still tries to contact me, but I don't want anything to do with him. Im not sure if I should even tell him? Or how to tell him? Im happy with the way things are going and I don't want to lose my new boyfriend over my ex coming back into my life. HELP ME PLEASE!! ):

He has a right to know that he's going to be a father. It's not about what you want, or what will make you happy, it's about doing the right thing.

How would you feel if the tables were turned? Wouldn't you want to know that you're going to have a child?

You're 17, you'll need his support to raise this child, and he has the right not only to support it, but to be a part of its life.

I agree with Altenweg---It is your child's basic human right to know his/her birth father. Just because you want to move on with your life with another man doesn't give you the right to keep the knowledge of this young mans child from him. Your relationship may not of worked out, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't have the capability in him to be a great father. I have actually seen were a man/woman are unable to really connect in a adult committed relationship, but are absolutely the best parents, in fact because they don't know how to give the love in them to a adult, they give it all to their children.

Now, he could turn out to be the exact opposite and have nothing to do with the baby, but that will be HIS choice to live with. No matter what he needs to contribute to the welfare of his child financially and emotionally.

Iam glad that your new boyfriend doesn't have a problem with your pregnancy. That he is willing to be supportive to you during this time, however the bottom line is that he is NOT the birth father and when it comes to YOUR child he has NO say.

You are still 17yrs old, you have your whole life ahead of you. This is also a time that you both as parents need to sit down and decide the future. Are you both capable to raise this child, not just emotionally, but financially. Being so young, do you have the ability to keep a roof over his/her head, bills paid, enough money for medical, etc... With your life ahead of you perhaps you need to check into adoption--I just putting that out there as an option, never get so narrow minded that you don't consider all options.

I wish you the very best that life has to offer. Please keep us posted of how thing work out for you. Take care

Ok well I get what your saying but the baby's father is 23 and has his own place and vehicle and a job as well. My new boyfriend has the same but he's 26, so either way I know my child will be taken care of. I suppose my ex deserves to know about our child, but how do I tell him? He's th type that would try to take my baby from me, and I really want my baby...

If you can, talking in person about important things is always best. And if not, give him a call. This is not the sort of thing you text or email about.

And he can't just come in and take the baby. Once the baby is born he will be able to file for custody, just like you can. And then it will be up to the judge to determine what is in the best interest of the child. Unless you're an unfit parent though, there would be reason for the judge to take the child away from you. That doesn't necessarily mean you won't have joint custody or that he won't have visitation or anything like that. But he has as much of a right to be a part of yours and his child's life as you do and it's not fair to him or your child if you don't allow for that opportunity for them to have a relationship.

You mention that both men are pretty stable. But what about you? You've already broken up with the father of the child. And this new guy says he's cool with it, and hopefully he really is and will stick around for the long haul. But are you prepared to handle raising a child on your own in case the bio father decides he's not interested and the new guy decides it's all more than he signed on for?

What do your parents think about this situation? Perhaps they can take you to a attorney and get some idea of how to handle this situation.

I am sure that your new boyfriend at 26yro will NOT have you put him down on the birth certificate as the father, so if something happens to your relationship he can simply walk away with no responsibility to you or your child.

Most courts have no desire to separate a Mother from her child. As long as she can prove that she is fit to support her child in every asspect of that child's life. If your ex-boyfriend does want to be part of this child's life, he may indeed get to share custody or sometime of visitation rights. He will also have to pay child support, and possible provide medical coverage.

Iam mostly concerned Brittany that you are already depending on this new boyfriend to take of you and your child financially. This is NOT his responsibility it is YOURS. You are young, but please to not get into the mold of were you feel its okay for someone else to take care of you. I see were so many woman/men fall into that form of thought and end up left without a way to support themselves. They usually are so desperate they end up putting themselves in relationship that can turn out to be very violent.

Take care

Ok justcurious55... I live with my mother but we don't always see eye to eye and I just recently found out that my dad and his girlfriend are having a baby as well. I may not be the stablest person at this moment in time, but if things with my new guy keep goiing like they are then I should be by the time the baby arrives. Once the baby gets here I plan on going back to work and putting the baby in daycare till I can get me and my baby a place of our own instead of allowing my new boyfriend to help out all the time.

Answerme Tender... I plan on telling my ex about our baby when the time is rite and I also plan on putting his name on the birth certificate. My boyfriend isn't going to pose as the father, we all know that's not the rite thing to do. As far as child support, I'm not going to push that upon my ex, I don't believe in that.
I am not going to let my new boyfriend take care of me, I'm going to stay at my moms till the baby is born and I can get a place for me and my child. I am only 17 though and I can't do all this on my own and my boyfriend has been through it already with his ex wife, but I do appreciate his support. My mom and step dad aren't very supportive, but my dad and his girlfriend are. I'm still a little confused about all this, but Thank you all so much for your help(:

Not filing for child support is completely unfair to your child. Even if you didn't need it for day to day necessities, you could take that money and put it into an account so your child can go to college or something later on down the road.

And when do you think the right time to tell your ex that you're having his child will be? I certainly hope it's long before the baby is actually due.

We fathers have right too, so if you want to be fair, he should know, and whether you like it or not, if you can't come to an agreement, then the courts will make an agreement for you, that's in the best interest of the child. Seems that's what you both should want.

Ok well I told my ex and he was happy and wants me back with him. When I told him I was still with Brett (my boyfriend), he told me the baby's not his then. I don't understand him. The baby is his because he is the last guy I've been with in the past year, and me and Brett aren't sleeping together either. So now I'm confused big time. Maybe I should enforce child support on him since he doesn't want the baby without me too..?

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Originally Posted by Brittany5

Ok well i told my ex and he was happy and wants me back with him. When i told him i was still with Brett (my boyfriend), he told me the babys not his then. I dont understand him. The baby is his because he is the last guy i've been with in the past year, and me and Brett arent sleeping together either. So now im confused big time. Maybe i should enforce child support on him since he doesnt want the baby without me too..??

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He doesn't get to demand that you're with him in order to support his child.

When the baby is born you get a paternity test done, and then go for support. He has to support his child, that's not an option. He doesn't have to be a part of the baby's life if he doesn't want to be, but he does have to support what he helped make.

Give him some time. He just found out about this. I'm sure he's in shock. Hopefully he'll make the right decision. If not, you force him to pay support.

I am seeing some red flags that I hope you are getting taken care of:

Have you actually had your pregnancy confirmed by a doctor?

If so, how far along are you and when does your doctor say your due date is?

You are placing a lot of hope on someone you have been dating for a maybe a month. The relationship with your ex ended in December. Recently, you started dating this gentleman. Please take care of yourself and your needs (including your child) and don't rely on someone who has barely been in your life long enough to know your name.