I have been sleeping with a guy I work with for maybe 5 months now... We tried dating but I wasn't over my ex boyfriend so it didn't work out... We are still sleeping together but I'm back with my boyfriend... My boyfriend and I don't have sex and we don't really go out but we got back together because we missed each other and now I'm thinking maybe I made a mistake taking him back... My co worker and I laugh together and have great sex... He wants more but is getting fustrated waiting for me to tell my boyfriend... I just can't do it.. My friend is backing away from me now and I miss him... should I let him go or what should I do? I'm so confused... =/

You're being totally unfair to both men. If you have a boyfriend, that's a committed relationship. Do you really see this going anywhere with him? You guys broke up. You started seeing someone else. You're still seeing the other person, but you're back to calling guy 1 you're boyfriend. So you've restarted your relationship with him with you cheating on him. And now guy 2 seems to be getting fed up with your indecisiveness, no surprise. Who could blame him? It sounds like you've been using him for a rebound. It sounds like you need to take a break from dating period (and sleeping around) while you get your head back on straight instead of leading both guys on.

You can do anything you want as long as you're fine with the completely predictable results of your actions. You know what you're doing.

You can date as many people as you want as long as they all know you're not being exclusive. If they don't know that, then you're lying to them... which is fine if that's who you are.

You can keep playing fast and free with sex and relationships, you really can. But it's what you DO that defines your character.

Your statements:
"I'm thinking maybe i made a mistake taking him back..."
..."should i let him go or what should i do?..."

... These make it clear you truly only focus on yourself. Harsh as that may sound, it's what you do that clarifies your priorities. As long as you put your own wants/feelings at the top of your relationship decision-making, all of these things will continue to seem perfectly acceptable to you, I'm sure.

But one day you will meet someone who actually inspires you. Someone who makes you want to be a better person and will cause you to start elevating THEM and THEIR needs/priorities/feelings ahead of your own.

When that happens, you'll discover sex is no longer the recreational toy it is to you today, and you'll start making real changes in that department. You'll be able to sacrifice if necessary, face harsh honest truths instead of just doing "what feels good for now."

Until then, I suggest you decide if you're OK with all the drama you're creating for yourself and your mates, and if so, don't fret it. Enjoy the energy-rollercoaster you get from all this. It will be over soon enough.

My heart is literally confused... my boyfriend and I have been together forever and I don't know if its love or comfort but he needs me so much... and my friend well we just have a lot of fun together (not talking about the sex) so yes your right I'm being unfair huh

You're not really confused. That's one of the things we say to keep from admitting what we know to be true and don't like.

Rather than confusion, you're probably feeling guilt. That just means you have a heart, which is good.

But guilt is designed to improve behavior. Maybe that's where you are feeling confused. You're feelings are telling you to make better choices, but you don't really want to... and your want is another feeling, so you think of that as confusion.

It's not really. It's your heart trying to get you to do something HARD your mind doesn't want to give in to. It's your head that is telling you to stay with a boyfriend "just because it's comfortable" and to keep having sex with your friend "just because it's fun and we both want to do it...nobody is getting hurt."

Well, your HEART is trying to correct your thinking because neither thing is actually true... you aren't really comfortable in your relationship with your boyfriend, and you don't really believe your relaxed sex-life is doing you no harm. Your heart is wanting you to treat yourself and your mates better.

But your head doesn't want to allow that.

So, fairness may be the word for it... or perhaps just willingness to change for the better. Change like this, maturity of this kind, requires sacrifice. Sacrifice is something most people have to grow into, it's not always natural to give up your wants and perceived needs for the greater good, the good of your mates and the good of your character and the good of your future and coming REAL relationships.

Think about what you're willing to do and what you're not.

Any time you breakup with someone you're going to miss them. There were probably valid reasons you broke up to begin with. Missing someone IMO is not a reason to rekindle the flame. What do you want for yourself and out of these relationships? If I were the coworker I would cut the cord until you were availbable and ready for a relationship. Maybe you should live life single until you're good and ready to give yourself 100%.

Both men will leave or fight I'm a guy and I can tell you we are VERY passionet about cheating as are wommen I'm sure