I'm 20 years old, and until this point in my life, I have always been attracted to men, however I have this friend who I won't label her because I know she doesn't like to be labeled but she likes girls... anyways, she is one of my best friends, I've known her for almost 5 years now. This all started a couple months back when I was over at her house and had taken a shower (note* I had a boyfriend at the time) I had shaved my legs but the razor was so cheap that my leg was full of blood, so there I sat on the toiler in only a towel telling her to look at my bloody leg, her being so motherly took a paper towel and started to wipe the blood off, instantly when she touched my leg, I felt something, I don't know that it was but it felt amazing... Obviously I brushed it off and thought nothing of it. However it was not until we pretended to be in a relationship to make someone she liked jealous that I realized I really like her, and not just as a friend but so much more then that. I told her... she thought I was joking, or she thought I was going through a phase and She thinks that I'm only liking her because I'm rebelling against my parents and just silly things like that.. now she is using the excuse that she doesn't like being with someone and that she is not emotionally stable to be in a relationship... to be honest I don't think she realizes how much I really like her, and I don't know what to do or say to her to make her believe me, I want her, I know that much, please give me some advice...

Well, how sad!

You've discovered a part of yourself that you never even knew that you had with a friend of 5 years, and she not only rejects your love, but your new- found identity!

She puts you down, accusing you of being "unstable."

You can try for at least a little while to convince her , but I wonder how receptive she'll be, no matter what you do.

So far, she's not even respecting you. She's abandoning you at the very time that one would expect that the two of you could be at your closest. It's a very sensitive time for you, and she was the catalyst that brought you to this precious realization.

I mean, when will you ever get to the honeymoon with her? You can try to reason with her, to have a heart-to-heart talk with her, telling her what you just told us.

I don't know if she'll accept it, though.

If she does, Hallelujah!

But more likely, if she doesn't, I believe that it is truly her loss more than yours, because your level of maturity far exceeds hers.

And if that's the case, then perhaps it's best that you bless her and send her on her way, as my best friend would say.

Now that's a best friend who really knows how to be one! --A best friend who's worthy of the term. That's what you deserve, and I hope that you continue to search until you find it, and don't give up because she let you down so tragically.

She sees you as a friend and will most likely continue seeing you as just a friend. If she's a lesbian and the entire time she's just being a friend and not making moves it mean she has no interest in you otherwise and doesn't find you attractive and worth nothing more than platonic.

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SocialPsiTina does not find this helpful : His answer shows great insensitivity. He also threatened to commit suicide on the "Questions" side. I had no way to flag his question.

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SocialPsiTina, you may find Hadoken's post insensitive, but it is only opinion. The rules of this site clearly stated than an unhelpful rating can only be given to posts that are factually incorrect or dangerous.

If you find a post that you feel goes against the rules of the site, but is opinion based, then please feel free to report the post by using the "report inappropriate post" button.

Thank you. :)

Very sorry about that! I apparently I missed that part in the rules.

Is there some way to undo what I did?

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Very sorry about that! I apparently I missed that part in the rules.

Is there some way to undo what I did?

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Don't worry about it. It takes a while to get the hang of this place. You made a mistake. We've all been there. When I was new to this site I'm pretty sure I drove people nuts with all the mistakes I made. ;)

Live and learn. If you need any help using the site, just ask, we're more then happy to help. I've really enjoyed reading your posts, so I hope you stick around.

Hey thanks, that's great! Hey, where's you get that smiley?

I don't know where to ask-- yes, I do have questions...

Don't get so carried away by YOUR feelings that you make a pest of yourself. What is she supposed to believe that all of a sudden you are a lesbian, and your lust is love? Get real here, slow down, and figure out your own feelings first, before you share them with others, or ask them to invest in YOUR feelings.

Its probably hard enough to deal with her own feelings, so back the heck off, and give her some room to breath, and time to think, as maybe she just likes you as a friend, and here you come with this sudden awakening, and want to experiment with her body, sounds crazy doesn't it??

I think that Talaniman's ideas are very interesting & worth considering. However, I DON'T think your side sounds crazy, & I don't think your POV is selfish, as he seems to imply. However, he may be right that all your friend needs is some time.

I'm in love with my best friend... I'm straight and also a girl.. however... my best friend is also a girl.. what do I do? Please help

If you're certain you're straight, then it might be a simple infatuation with your best friend. You might be confusing brotherly (or in this case, sisterly) love for something else. As best friends, you do a lot together right? Being constantly around each other and doing things together will create a bond between you two.

Try a short separation, go do something on your own. Go hang out again in a week or two and see if the feeling persists. If it does, then you may not be as straight as you think. ;)

I'd also weigh in the thought of admitting your feelings for her. I'm not sure if you should do it before you take a break apart (if you follow my above advice) or not. But at least she'd know why you're hanging out with other people or doing something on your own. I personally would wait until after the week or two has gone. That way, you know if the feeling is "real" or not.

Wish you the best of luck, love is never an easy topic to figure out. Especially if the person you feel for is of the same sex.

I've already told her, and she's a lesbian, but she has had a veryy screwed up life so she says she can't handle being in a relationship, and I don't know what to do

Well basically you can easily ruin a friendship with them.

So do you have sexual desires for her ? ( the word love is so over used and can mean too many things)

If she can't handle a relationship, then you back off, and stop pushing for more than just a friendship.

I think I can understand why your friend would have any hesitation in believing that you are attracted to her. Straight girls with lesbian friends DO sometimes experience what they believe to be attraction or romantic feelings for their gay friends because-I don't know-maybe they are feeling rejected by males, maybe they want to feel desired by someone who loves them as well as a best friend does.

All I know is that I thought I fell for one of my lesbian best friends once, and I acted on it. When I finally realized I wasn't attracted to women it really hurt her. I wasn't the first straight girl nor the last one to "use" her to sort out our confusion.

What I'm trying to say is: relish your best friend. If you truly have attraction to women and are a bisexual or lesbian, it may take some time to come into your new identity. If your friend is a good match for you, that may take some time to figure out. It may also be the case, like already stated, that she doesn't look at you like that and you two will always be *just* friends regardless of sexual orientation..

Whatever the case, don't push your friend away. Good friends are rare.

Good luck discovering your identity.