Ephedra addiction (it's long but all significant)
I am addicted to ephedra; and I have been taking it since 1999. I have tried to stop taking this stuff a bunch of times; but I feel extremely fatigued after only a few days; and I feel like I have no energy for anything. I end up ordering them again; just to get through my daily routines. I admit that I take at least 8-10 pills a day. I started taking them to increase my stamina; and alertness on the college sports team I played on; as well as to lose weight. Ephedra worked wonders for me. It gave me energy I had never had before and I felt like my personality "opened up". I also lost 30 pounds in only a few months. I got so many compliments and made new friends quickly. To this day I can drop weight within a week when I take it. I'm addicted because ephedra helps with my energy with very little exercise; keeps me upbeat ( or I can be upbeat whenever I chose to). I get more things done. I'm very assertive ( people don't seem to challenge my views or opinions as much) & I am less forgetful. My side affects are insomnia, nervousness, anemic symptoms( low iron symptoms), addictive sexual appetite ( thinking about it constantly & sleeping with people who hurt me emotionally just to relieve the feeling), deppression, mood swings,compulsively worrying about my appearance ( phobia), temper issues,staying angry about things longer than I should( not being able to let issues go with things or people), more arguments with people; etc. I feel so stuck because people do not know that I take ephedra so much, and my personality is somewhat based around it ( a little more outgoing, talkative, witty,sensual etc.). When I stop taking it I am a more quiet and very calm person(people try to treat me like I am a pushover sometimes) , I look at personal issues differently( my relationships last longer) and I am kind of softspoken. These latter traits are my natural personality. I also gain a little weight; or I don't drop it half as quickly even if I exercise more. I am also a lot more forgetful; which is not good personally or professionally. People who have known me always think something is wrong with me when I don't take it for a lonmg period! I feel so stuck at this point. I hate not having energy, gaining weight, and being more forgetful & softspoken. But I don't like coffee & I feel like I need a stimulant to keep me at bay. I feel so stuck & almost to the point that I am unsure of who I am or want to be ( personality wise). I am an undercover mess. Everyday I just wish I could just go to detox or something; or try to live my life without ephedra; but I am afraid of disrupting my social lifestyle I hope someone can offer suggestions...