Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Pregnancy & New Motherhood (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=262)
-   -   Who is my baby's father? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=549862)

  • Jan 31, 2011, 05:38 PM
    loveispain11
    Who is my baby's father?
    I had sex with two guys before I found out I was pregnant. I had sex with one guy on the 25 of September the other guy was before and after this date. I found out I was pregnant November 6 and they told me I was about five to six weeks on November 9. I went to the doctor 20 and I was 15 weeks and 5 days. Who could be the baby's father?
  • Jan 31, 2011, 05:45 PM
    ScottGem

    Won't know until a paternity test is done after the baby is born.
  • Jan 31, 2011, 05:53 PM
    loveispain11
    I just need an estimate of when I conceived.
  • Jan 31, 2011, 05:55 PM
    ScottGem

    What did your doctor say?
  • Jan 31, 2011, 06:08 PM
    DoulaLC

    When was your last period? You generally would conceive a week or two after a period, but everyone does not follow the norm. That is about as close an estimate as you can get, along with what an ultrasound might give you.

    Keep in mind that ultrasounds are not exact and they can be off a bit. Even a few days can make all the difference.

    As ScottGem said, you will really need a paternity test to know for certain. Anything else is an educated guess... not very reliable when you are trying to determine a child's father.
  • Feb 6, 2011, 07:13 AM
    loveispain11
    It was sometime in September, I don't remember the exact date. If this helps any my due date is July 8. After my one night stand which was on the 25 I had spotting, it was only that day. Doctors say I was ovulating on the first of October and I conceived about 2 weeks after that. I know this is a horrible situation but I'm desperate to find out!!
  • Feb 6, 2011, 07:30 AM
    DoulaLC

    Due date is an approximation so that really only gives you a rough idea. There is a several week window at the end of pregnancy that is considered a normal time frame to give birth in.

    The best estimate with a due date of July 8th would put conception at the days around the 15th of October. I am guessing you meant to say the doctor put your last period at the first of October and you conceived two weeks later. You would conceive at the time of ovulation.

    If you had a period after the sex with the guy from the 25th, and with a due date of July 8th, odds put you at having conceived with the guy you had sex with after Sept. 25.

    Again, to know for certain, you would need DNA testing.
  • Feb 6, 2011, 07:49 AM
    loveispain11
    OK. I had an appointment February 1st, they told me then that I was 17 weeks and 6 days. Every time I count back I always get a date in October.
  • Feb 6, 2011, 08:26 AM
    DoulaLC

    When they date a pregnancy, it is most often taken from the first day of the last menstrual period (lmp). While you usually aren't actually pregnant at that point, this is how they determine gestational age. It is used because there is no way to know exactly when you conceived, only a time frame of when it would have been most likely. This is partly why at the end of pregnancy you have a window of about 37/38 weeks to 42 weeks that is considered a normal time frame to give birth.

    The 17w6d would put you back as having your period end of Sept./early October, with a likely conception within a week or two after that.

    If you have another scan at around 20 weeks, this will be another way to get a fairly good idea of how developed baby is, and how far along your pregnancy is. Scans later in pregnancy for dating purposes become less and less reliable.

    Unfortunately, unless someone has medical assistance and knows the exact day of conception, you are dealing with approximations for the most part. This is why when a woman has sex with more than one man in a short period, you may get better odds of it being one or the other, usually depending on her cycle, but nothing will be certain. DNA testing will be needed to know for certainty.
  • Feb 6, 2011, 03:39 PM
    loveispain11
    This is so stressful !
  • Feb 6, 2011, 06:03 PM
    DoulaLC
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by loveispain11 View Post
    This is so stressful !

    I can only imagine. Hope it works out how you would like it to. Hard as it may be, try your best to focus on taking care of yourself, and that includes ways to ease stress. Maybe an occasional pregnancy massage, a pregnancy yoga class, regular exercise, relaxation techniques on your own.

    There is nothing you can do about paternity at this point. Wait and see what information any other scan you may have will provide. Ask your doctor about the possibility of being farther along than they suspect. And finally, consider paternity testing once baby is born if you still are unsure once baby is born.
  • Feb 7, 2011, 05:11 PM
    loveispain11
    Can I ask who do you think it might be? By the information I gave you.
  • Feb 10, 2011, 01:49 PM
    loveispain11
    I went to the doctor October 14 to take a pregnancy test and they told me I was not pregnant. If it was the other guys I think by that date it would have shown up positive, right ?

  • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:07 PM.