I am a graduate in Engineering, when I was doing my graduation I loved a guy of same college, he is very caring and sweet, the only problem is he is so possessive, he does not like me talking to any other guys even if they are my cousins brothers.

For his happiness I tried my maximum to stay away from all those, but there are certain situations where we can't avoid mingling with others. Our love is 3 years old now. I joined for mtech and he is searching for jobs, there I get few friends which include guys and gals. Being friends they asked for my mobile number and obviously I should give it because when all others are giving I don't want to behave as an odd man out lady.

I don't have any bad intentions too.. we are good friends.The mistake what I've done is I didn't tell about all these incidents to my guy, because I knew that he will get angry and he will hurt me by saying a lot of things , I can't bear that but somehow he came to know about my friends, now he need a break-up it seems.

People *** tell me did I do anything wrong, I can't live without him. I had some kind of relationships too with him (didn't have sex, but I've kissed him, hugged him etc), so my feelings doesn't allow me to leave him and to start a new life with others. But guys its not possible to live as a spinster all through my life. I wanted to end my life forever.

Don't get involved with this guy. He wants to control you. There are a lot of other people in the world that would be a better match for you. Anyone with jealousy issues like this guy usually turn out to be abusers.

The only thing you have done wrong is give your heart to a jealous, selfish, insecure boob of a child. He is very controlling, and jealous and it would have gotten much worse through no fault of your own, and these sort of fellows, once they marry you will beat your all for the smallest thing.

Thank god he dumped you, and he only did it to teach you to obey his every command, but the good news is that now that your free, DON'T GO BACK TO HIM. Oh he will be back, when he thinks you have learned your lesson, and end your punishment, but if you don't take him back, then you can be yourself, enjoy your friends, and I guarantee you will not be a spinster, and will attract a real good man who appreciates a good woman.

He never will. And as you see he can be sweet and caring until you do something you don't like. LISTEN carefully, he will get much worse with his words and actions. I guarantee that too!

@Handyman2007,@talaniman: Thanks guys
I am scared whether he vl spoil his future beacause of me.

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Originally Posted by nandithapretty

I am scared whether he vl spoil his future beacause of me.

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No. He is too egocentric to allow that to happen. He is the only person in his world.

Sounds like he has a lot of trust issues. Not sure where he got them from, but it's definitely going to affect your relationship long term. If he can't help but continue to mistrust you, then this relationship is going to end whether you want to or not.

If you really want to make this relationship work, then work together to help him figure out his insecurities. If there's no progress, then it's probably best for you to go your separate ways. You don't want to be in such an unhealthy relationship.

After he fell in love with me,he stopped his frinedship with evry one.I meant he is madly into me.so he is expecting me also to do the same.Guys temme is that so bad to have friendship with opposite sex?

He is trying to control you and the relationship. Once YOU have given in to him and stop being friends with opposite sex, then he will work on you not having any friends of same sex. Then he will try and control you contact with family, etc...

Bottom line here is that your instinct are screaming out that you are in a relationship with a very manipulative, controlling individual. If you think he is going to change then you are WRONG! The only person who is going to change in this relationshp is YOU, why because he SAY'S SO!!

Most abusive relationship start this way, were they get rid of others in your lives so there is no outside influence to interfer with his/her control!! You had better wise up and really take a long hard look at this relationship. Is this the man that is really going to love and cherish you. Or is he that one who is going to dominate you!!

Take care

I know its not easy to hear your partner is an abusive idiot, and this is an unhealthy love, and that makes it an unhealthy relationship, but that's the way we see it. Especially ME!!

Its so sad, and I feel for you because you sound like a very nice healthy person that's being poisoned by this boob, smart maybe, but still a manipulating boob.

The best thing that ever happened to you was he got mad and dumped you.

The second best thing that will happen in your life, is YOU DON'T TAKE HIM BACK!!

Even I realize that if we continue this relationship,we will be the most worst couples in this world.The reasons which is making me to stick back to him is that sexual contacts with him(not exactly.. bt kind of)i am a village girl,in that sitaution I could nt resist him ,so all those happened,The question what is raising in my mind if I marry another person,am I cheating him?or can I claim that I am virgin?Please guide me.

I don't believe in lying to anyone about your virginity. But, I also don't believe its anyone's business what happened in my life prior to them, but I live in a different social structure.

No one should feel that they need to stay in a possible abusive situation because of their lack of virginity.

If you DESERVE the right to meet a nice man, who will love and respect YOU, not try and control you. The next gentleman in your life, take the time to REALLY get to know him inside and out before committing to him in any other way but holding hands if that is the way of your village!!

Take care

Messing around is a form of sexual pleasure, but its not intercourse, so yes you are a virgin, just an "experienced" one.

A Mentally, emotionally stable secure male won't care one way or another, but a narrow minded insecure one might. Leave those kinds of guys alone.

Just be careful who you disclose your past experience to, and make sure they are mature enough to handle it, and deserve to know. Your ex for example is not worthy of you because he is a very insecure nut. Don't ever mess with guys like that, get a real man, because you are a real woman, don't settle for less.

Now I am nt able to concentrate in my studies.what should I do to overcome from this stupid feeling.
Is that wise to reveal about my past to my guy in future?In my society no one is broad minded to have a girl who has got all these sort of relationships!!

FOCUS, as you have just gone through a traumatic change that takes time to get use to. You will adjust a whole lot better if you don't have any more contact with him. That will help you move on.

It is difficult to make these adjustments, but they can be done of you worry more about your studies and less about him, or what future partners will think. I realize your culture has many traditions that guide what is acceptable behavior, but as you get out into the bigger world, you will encounter more broad minded people , but until you know someone very well, its none of their business what you did in the past, and its entirely up to you if they even deserve to know. I would hardly see it beneficial to tell dates all your secrets, or business.

You seem to be an outgoing friendly person, so you may have many friends and family to support you through this time, and just stay on those books and in time you get beyond this event, and adjust your routine around you, and not him. I think soon you will appreciate your freedom, and enjoy it.

I agree just concentrate on your studies. The only thing to worry about right now is improving your life. Why drive yourself crazy over something that may never even be a problem for future relationships!! Remember you are working on improving your life and that means also improving future choices. Those choices should include what type of man you would decide to be with. If he is a narrow minded pig headed idiot then I guess you won't chose him!!

You are young learn to date different men, it doesn't mean you have no morals, just be choosey!!

Take care