I'm in a new long distance relationship. We've been together over a year and LDR for about 5 months. We are both in college and living in dorms. He recently revealed to me that when he is away from me, he has to fight urges/impulses to be with other girls. When I ask him what he means by this he kind of runs around in circles, but from what I can understand, he gets attracted to girls beyond their looks like thinking she's pretty. I always knew he was sexual, but its like his sex drive is always on and its not always because of us being together. Random girls on the street, girls in his class, friends in his dorm, are turning him on all the time, and this bothers me.

I'm insecure, we both are, and we don't hide it, though he seems to be in denial of how insecure he is while I'm not. He used to help me with my insecurities and I would try to help him with his, but this... it pokes my insecurities in the face. I want to be thankful that he's fighting these urges, and I am, but it also bothers me that these urges are there and so relevant. He says its only when I'm not with him which is going to be 75% of our relationship, so I'm freaking out a little bit.

should I be worried? What should I do? What should I say?

Long distance relationship are ALWAYS hard to maintain. Im not saying that they cannot be done, just that they are hard.

He is a young man, in college---Most men this age think about sex ALOT--so don't get over concerned that he is thinking about it more then other men his age--IT NORMAL. But lets be honest here young ladies have the same darn urges.

My concern is that you have no problem saying that you have insecurities, that is great that you don't have problem talking about them, but are you doing anything about getting over them or conquering them? You need to focus more on yourself instead of how many urges your boyfriend is having in a days time frame!!

Unfortuantely there are no guarantees in this life, so there is no one really on this site that can give you the guarantee that he won't fail you or you fail him. Love is wonderful, but it is one big CHANCE we take in life. Take care

I wonder why everyone can see the original text except me. I made a lot of improvements with my insecurities when I started dating my boyfriend who I have been with the past year, he helped give me confidence when I was constantly surrounded by people around me trying to put me down. I have been insecure as a child since I was made fun of and received insensitive comments from family, friends, and strangers on a regular basis because of my appearance. My improvements stopped once we started LDR and I observed his behavior towards the opposite sex without me next to him. I never felt threatened by his female friends before, but the thought of him making gal pals in that new environment worried me. He definitely has a higher sex drive, so it worried me that withdrawal from it and any kind of intimacy would cause more problems for him than for me, which it has. Finding out about the urges bothered me, and the fact that he danced around the subject made me worry about his honesty. I know he won't cheat, he assured me he'd break up with me if he wanted to be with someone else, that bothers me now too, since it seems completely possible now instead of just reasonable. All of these things plus a few more have left me feeling inferior and not good enough to keep my bf's attention. I feel conflicted because I don't feel special anymore. Doing sexual things that used to make me feel sexy now make me feel slutty or like a personal blow up doll, but I feel the less I do the more likely he is to get these urges. He doesn't pressure me, but I can tell he misses it. I just feel disgusting.

Your post has been edited back, but reading them both, it seems you went from one very bad relations right into another one without a proper healing. You seem to have a lot of baggage, and maybe that has a lot to do with your insecurities, which are magnified way out of proportion, not only by his admissions to you, but also the distance, since you cannot guess what he is doing, only imagine.

Fear does that to us, but face your fear, and don't spread it with impulsive words, or actions, but do calmly express them to him just so he will know what your going through. He may then tone down his rhetoric, and not worry you with his sexual problems.

Now as to your feelings toward your own sex life with him, I can only say that a couple that can do the wild thing, darn sure better be able to talk about it, and if you are not getting the pleasure he is, and feel like a piece of meat, tell him. Makes no sense to give in to the nature of another, and not get your rocks off too, does it?

Thank you so much talaniman :) for everything.